[ action post to Hojo ]

[tracedmemories]

[ Shelke realizes something is wrong the moment Hojo's brainwaves begin to fluctuate erratically, but the change is so sudden and so drastic that she isn't able to react fast enough. Even as she hits the emergency shutoff switch to begin the shut down sequence, she sees Hojo crumple to his knees, and another moment later she sees the trails of

Comments

[moralmisconduct]

[The shock bestowed by her first words carries through until she finishes speaking, preventing him from interrupting. Hojo stares, stunned into silence, before a searing wave of anger pushes logic further away from the surface of his mind.]

What did you say to me?

[A hasty step off the bed, he grips her shoulder and spins it around so she is facing him, seeing her rising emotion reflecting his own and hating it. Bound by habit, it is easy in the sting left by her words to forget just who they have become since their last meeting - he, no longer with the might of Shinra behind him, and her, no longer a child cringing in the shadow of a fate she could not escape.]

How dare you speak to me like that, you insignificant failure! Who are you to preach to me about science, when I have been at the forefront of my field since before you were born? I have defied death twice over, mastered the very life blood of this godforsaken planet! But each time... true success prevented through no fault of my own, by shortsighted fools who can't see past the boundaries of their own meager, pathetic existences!

[He grits his teeth, flooded by unsavoury memories.]

What are a few lives worth, faced with the promise of incomprehensible amounts of knowledge and power as reward? This entire earth is nothing but a minute speck in the stretch of time and space, each human life no more important than that of an ant, a blade of grass in the grand cycle of the universe. Leviathan be damned, I require transcendence! I have achieved more than anyone can hope to dream, so why should I have to stand by and wait for the Lifestream to consume me, regurgitate and recycle this soul as if it is just like the bloody rest?

[His breathing is heavy, his words rushing out despite himself. The hand on her shoulder tightens.]

I am not just another decaying bundle of flesh and bone. I will get what I want, and if my ways bring destruction upon me again, then so be it!

[tracedmemories]

[ Shelke is silent for a long moment, at first shocked into silence as though physically struck by his words. But as he devolves into a tirade of his ideals and the same ambitions that have sabotaged him for the entirety of his existence thus far, her shock fades back to smoldering anger, then into cold fury. There was a time in her life when she would have trembled at his words, where she would have accepted them at face value for their logic and reasoning. But that time has passed, and Shelke does not see in such stark black and white as she once did.

She lets silence fall over them before she speaks again, lets the room fill with only the sound of her stillness and Hojo's labored breaths. Then she shakes her head, training her gaze on him levelly, the bloodied cloth cradled still in her hand.

His mortality, summed up in a smear of very human blood against the white of the previously sterile cloth.]

...you tell me, Professor. Tell me, what are a few lives worth in your eyes?

You have thrown away-- [ Shelke turns her head up sharply at Hojo at these words, hand closing around the cloth in her hand tightly. ] --so many lives and gained so little understanding in return.

Do you even know what it is you want? When all your research comes for naught, what then?

When all you have left is a world that curses your name and only the echoes of what you could have had, what then?

[moralmisconduct]

[The moment passes. Agitation is an ugly emotion, and he should have known better than to have let Shelke see that part of himself.

Instead, Hojo sneers, his hand returned to his side. This girl, indoctrinated in the ways of Deepground, questioning him on the value of human lives? She has been away from her roots for too long indeed!]

The average life is nothing. The ignorant masses are sheep, deserving no fate better than to be brought to the slaughter when their time is due. They follow blindly and do not question. I couldn't care less what their impression of me is. And...I don't have to justify my actions to you.

You have become more of a fool than I had previously feared, if you sympathise with them.

[tracedmemories]

[ Shelke turns her gaze slightly to glance at the place where his hand previously rested on her shoulder and she frowns at the fact that she feels the absence of it far more than him seizing her to begin with. Slowly, she returns her gaze to him again, letting out her breath in something very close to a scoff. ]

I am not speaking out of sympathy. I am not certain I have any sympathy left in me, least of all for the faceless masses.

[ That much, at least, Deepground has possibly irrevocably trained out of her. The world as a whole she would hate to see end, but casualty reports do not affect her in the least anymore. They are just numbers, and Shelke feels no emotional attachment to statistics. ]

I meant that which you cast away to fuel your madness.

I want my family back, Professor. They were taken from me. My mother. My sister.

But you--

You threw yours away, for science which has brought you nothing but failure and destruction and pain.

I am living testament, am I not?

And yet you intend to chase your fruitless ambitions to the bitter end.

[moralmisconduct]

I don't need a lecture, Shelke. And I hardly expect you to comprehend my reasons and ways.

[She has changed...she has changed beyond all measure. He finds himself wondering for just how long he can handle this new Shelke, this girl who is slowly becoming aware of her own personality, painting her own colours on the white canvass he had made her into.]

...You want your mother and sister back? Then stop with this arguing and do as you're told. You know very well I am trying to manipulate the Lifestream... Is it so fruitless still when applied to your own needs?

And...

I never had a family.

[Brushing past her, he starts toward the door.]