I'm very aware on all levels of my self/mind that he is only a representationThis caught my interest as it reflected the analysis I made regarding your post. You seem to be more intersted in the image you have created of Stream than in the reality of Stream. When Stream diverges from your image, it irritates you
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Your 20 cents worth was pretty much dead on the zone :-) at least, this is where I'm at with him at the moment. While we seemed to be on similar paths, there was a lot more resonance. At the moment, though, he's got a project pulling him in another direction which is one I can't follow. And don't really have interest in doing so. But the person he reminds me that I am, and the person he leads by example as, are both things I'm delighted to have regular reminders of in my life.
I'm not disregarding your advice, nor disrespecting it. And I acknowledge that I asked for the additional input. I'm just very aware that it comes from someone who is, well, a bit of pot and kettle. I'm glad that you've now seen me acting in a way that suggests there's a problem with someone, because you have put a lot of effort into either not seeing when I act the same way towards you, or finding excuses for it when I do. And it irritated me in the extreme when your comeback to my raising any such issue was that I wasn't committed enough, or wasn't giving myself over to it enough, because that is not an appropriate response to the actual problem I was raising. Now that you've seen the problem with someone else, I simply hope you appreciate why I put so much effort into being sure that you weren't just another one of these men. I've had enough of them in my life. I'm still not convinced about you, but I've been willing to stick around and find out for several years now.
how you wish to see me portrayed to your audience...
I don't try to portray you in any way. It's my diary. I write what I'm feeling and thinking and seeing. I don't write for an audience, except with the general aim of making my words say what I want them to knowing that they may or may not be read by others. This post, as I said in the very first line, was a draft that was put up unfinished. So it's not been polished to try and focus my words for clarity - it's just what I wrote first. It has no concept of audience.
I don't know if I've not done a good job of showing you..I am unaware of any time you have acknowledged that I might have reason to be concerned about the psychological aspects of our relationship. I also do not recall any time when you have shown that you have the same or any similar outside-analytical-observer viewpoint that I use for self-check. I recall many times when you have used fallacious and illogical argument structures in attack formats to try to stop me considering such issues
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I'm not disregarding your advice, nor disrespecting it. And I acknowledge that I asked for the additional input. I'm just very aware that it comes from someone who is, well, a bit of pot and kettle. I'm glad that you've now seen me acting in a way that suggests there's a problem with someone, because you have put a lot of effort into either not seeing when I act the same way towards you, or finding excuses for it when I do. And it irritated me in the extreme when your comeback to my raising any such issue was that I wasn't committed enough, or wasn't giving myself over to it enough, because that is not an appropriate response to the actual problem I was raising. Now that you've seen the problem with someone else, I simply hope you appreciate why I put so much effort into being sure that you weren't just another one of these men. I've had enough of them in my life. I'm still not convinced about you, but I've been willing to stick around and find out for several years now.
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(The comment has been removed)
I don't try to portray you in any way. It's my diary. I write what I'm feeling and thinking and seeing. I don't write for an audience, except with the general aim of making my words say what I want them to knowing that they may or may not be read by others. This post, as I said in the very first line, was a draft that was put up unfinished. So it's not been polished to try and focus my words for clarity - it's just what I wrote first. It has no concept of audience.
I don't know if I've not done a good job of showing you..I am unaware of any time you have acknowledged that I might have reason to be concerned about the psychological aspects of our relationship. I also do not recall any time when you have shown that you have the same or any similar outside-analytical-observer viewpoint that I use for self-check. I recall many times when you have used fallacious and illogical argument structures in attack formats to try to stop me considering such issues ( ... )
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