If you ever read this, I hope you can forgive me
To old friends:
I miss our friendships.
I'm sorry I became distant and weird and talked behind your back. To be honest, things got weird but you were always such a good friend. You always listened to me and understood where I was coming from. You were honest with me when I was being stupid even if it made me mad and I didn't want to hear it.
I'm sorry our friendship got fucked up. I thought we could handle living together. My control issues and the lack of respect for each other ruined our friendship. I'm sorry I screwed you over and if I could afford to fix the problem, I would in a heartbeat. You went on a limb to help me out and I fucked you over. At first, I was angry and yes those were my intentions, but I've calmed down, and realized what a bitch I was being. You were right. I did have a problem and I was going down a bad path at the time, you had seen your own father struggle with this same problem and when you tried to help, regardless if it was to make me mad or not, I became infuriated. I only wished you had come to me about my problem before you brought my family into it. I miss being ridiculously close. I miss hanging out everyday. I miss that you understood me and never judged me. I want to take back every bad thing that happened in the year and a half and start fresh. As much as I'm sure you hate me, I still wonder if you ever miss me as much as I miss you. I wish I could know. You are truly one friend I regret ever losing. You seem fairly happy now with your little family. I can't believe how our lives went. When we were younger, I would never have guessed it would have turned out like this. I wish I could just call you and tell you I'm so sorry about everything and we could cry and make up and talk about how our lives our go back to old times, but I messed up so bad that I don't think we could ever be friends again and it really breaks me heart that I lost someone who was there for me through every hard time. You helped me get through 4 years of high school and you were always there for me when I needed you the most. And all I did was let you down.
I miss our friendships.
I'm sorry I became distant and weird and talked behind your back. To be honest, things got weird but you were always such a good friend. You always listened to me and understood where I was coming from. You were honest with me when I was being stupid even if it made me mad and I didn't want to hear it.
I'm sorry our friendship got fucked up. I thought we could handle living together. My control issues and the lack of respect for each other ruined our friendship. I'm sorry I screwed you over and if I could afford to fix the problem, I would in a heartbeat. You went on a limb to help me out and I fucked you over. At first, I was angry and yes those were my intentions, but I've calmed down, and realized what a bitch I was being. You were right. I did have a problem and I was going down a bad path at the time, you had seen your own father struggle with this same problem and when you tried to help, regardless if it was to make me mad or not, I became infuriated. I only wished you had come to me about my problem before you brought my family into it. I miss being ridiculously close. I miss hanging out everyday. I miss that you understood me and never judged me. I want to take back every bad thing that happened in the year and a half and start fresh. As much as I'm sure you hate me, I still wonder if you ever miss me as much as I miss you. I wish I could know. You are truly one friend I regret ever losing. You seem fairly happy now with your little family. I can't believe how our lives went. When we were younger, I would never have guessed it would have turned out like this. I wish I could just call you and tell you I'm so sorry about everything and we could cry and make up and talk about how our lives our go back to old times, but I messed up so bad that I don't think we could ever be friends again and it really breaks me heart that I lost someone who was there for me through every hard time. You helped me get through 4 years of high school and you were always there for me when I needed you the most. And all I did was let you down.