This is such a pity you.. we should give our love to each other. NOT this hate that destroys us.
WARNING!: Don’t bother reading.. I just needed to babble a little (and the tea my mommy made me) to calm me down..
Everyone bitches about how junior year is so important and that’s what college’s look at so I did my work junior year. I made honor roll which isn’t a big shit for most of you, but I’m no frickin genius so I was proud of it... But now all I’m hearing about is how senior year is important because the standard that you set for yourself junior year needs to be at least met or else colleges think you’re a slacker and don’t want you. Kinda like how if you get shitty grades in school but awesome SAT scores you are looked down upon because it shows that you are smart, but you just don’t try. So how does hearing all this make the girl who had fucking old peoples disease and was out of school for a total of 2+ weeks feel? Like major shit because I am falling way behind in everything and my grades are going to suck this marking period. I never really gave a shit about my grades and I think the only reason I care now is because I actually have a school that I really want to get in to. All that talk about college is finally starting to click and it’s freaking me out like everyone else said it would. It’s not that I didn’t believe them, but I just couldn’t relate. Now I can relate and it blows. I wanna go back to being a dumb freshman… no. actually I don’t. I want it to be exactly one year from now. I want to be in college away from my house and the annoying little shit in the room next door. I want to forget about all the petty high school drama and I want to be independent. It’s weird because some of the people I work with are way older than me. I have the same job that they do, but that is their life. They don’t wake up in the morning and go to school. They just go to work. The same place I go to after I’m done with the crap of school. It’s not like I’m working at ColdStone where everyone is my age. If I’m capable of doing something now that other people consider their career then what’s the point of college? You go to college so you can get a good job. I know that there are better places to be working than Express, and that’s not what I want to end up doing with my life, but I don’t wanna be filthy rich either. I don’t want a big lonely house and a fancy car that I need to worry about fucking up. Yeah money would be nice. I’d love to have a beautiful piece of property and be able to afford to travel all around the world, but I’d rather be happy. It’s not that I’m an unhappy person at the moment, but sometimes I feel like there is a whole secret behind all this bullshit and someone’s just gotta figure it out.. but then I realize I need to stop thinking. SO that’s what I’m gunna do now.. I’m done thinking. I’m going to school tomorrow seeing a few teachers and if they won’t cut me some slack then I guess I’ll just deal. I think five hours of homework is more than enough for one person, even if they do have the entire weekend to do it. In the end me being upset about something that I can’t change is pointless, b/c I don’t need good grades, a fancy college, and some high paying job to be happy (although it could be a plus).. when it comes down to it I have people who truly care about me and I truly care about them and that means more to me than anything in the world.
...wow, I think I just had the infamous senior breakdown.
RANDOM THING OF THE DAY: “Most people work to live, but Americans live to work.”… fuck that!