Spring Break Day 1
Last night, I slept for 15 hours, the most amount of time I have ever slept before, and it felt great, although I have this sharp pain in my brain, on the left side.
Its over. Winter Quarter 2008. Since the start, and until the yesterday, my quarter has been filled with the flames of my own crash. Burnt myself so quick, too soon. Now, I am feeling the repercussions of my actions. The effects of being burnt out affected me physically and mentally, academically and socially. The effects on my organizing on campus, the power to disassociate myself from my friends and peers.
Physically, I feel exhausted all day erry day, I have been coughing for the past 6 weeks, this is week 6.
Mentally, I brought myself to a very low point in my life, a place where I haven’t been to since high school.
Academically, I withdrew from one class and got an incomplete for another, need I say more? Oh, and I believe I think crashed and burned once again on my Italian final.
Socially, I isolated myself from my friends and somewhat broke developing relationships with individuals.
Plus being burnt out from everything else from school. I thought I was…”in love”? I really really liked someone this past month. I really believe that this person was going to be someone who I have my first loving, trusting relationship, but that didn’t last long now didn’t it? Now, I feel hurt and I’m burnt. I’m upset at him and myself, him for hurting me and myself for thinking I could be with someone. For the person who initiated everything, the person who told me not to hurt him, hurt me. I think he was “talking” to another person besides me, and when I was DC, I tried to call and text him but never got a reply. All I can do now is cry a little and try to move on.
This quarter was tough, I guess I can take this as a lesson learned but only spring quarter will reflect if I have learned anything from winter.
So right now, I’m listening to Keyshia Cole, in my dining room/living room/kitchen in my apartment, alone, reading some old LJ postings and wishing I could be with qteam again.
The first entry is about the summer with USSA Congress ( Summer) and qteam’s GWEN Project training and then the second entry is qteam and the GWEN Project itself ( qteam).
I’ve come a long way since the summer, and I’m not very sure if it’s for the better.
I’m not really sure what I am going to do for spring break. I don’t have the money to go back home, and I don’t want to go home to my parents. Too much bullshit and shit talking, yet again, on their part concerning my cousin and uncle in Oregon and Washington. This is cousin who I stayed with for 4 days in Portland. My parents called me up like two nights ago just asking hella shit, talking hella bullshit. They on saying that I’m an adult now, and that I should be telling them where I go and who I see. I’m tired of their shit, and this is one of the reasons as to why I am not going home to my house. I might as well tell them I’m queer so they can disown me already. I’m jealous of people who have a good connection with their families, because I don’t, I rarely talk to my parents, and when I’m home, I lock myself in my room. Yeah…I guess this can be another entry but not right now.
So again, I am probably going to be staying here in Santa Cruz, alone. It is probably a good thing, because I have nothing to worry me right now, I am alone and have time to think.
Cheers to a pleasant spring break.
<3 Tommy
Its over. Winter Quarter 2008. Since the start, and until the yesterday, my quarter has been filled with the flames of my own crash. Burnt myself so quick, too soon. Now, I am feeling the repercussions of my actions. The effects of being burnt out affected me physically and mentally, academically and socially. The effects on my organizing on campus, the power to disassociate myself from my friends and peers.
Physically, I feel exhausted all day erry day, I have been coughing for the past 6 weeks, this is week 6.
Mentally, I brought myself to a very low point in my life, a place where I haven’t been to since high school.
Academically, I withdrew from one class and got an incomplete for another, need I say more? Oh, and I believe I think crashed and burned once again on my Italian final.
Socially, I isolated myself from my friends and somewhat broke developing relationships with individuals.
Plus being burnt out from everything else from school. I thought I was…”in love”? I really really liked someone this past month. I really believe that this person was going to be someone who I have my first loving, trusting relationship, but that didn’t last long now didn’t it? Now, I feel hurt and I’m burnt. I’m upset at him and myself, him for hurting me and myself for thinking I could be with someone. For the person who initiated everything, the person who told me not to hurt him, hurt me. I think he was “talking” to another person besides me, and when I was DC, I tried to call and text him but never got a reply. All I can do now is cry a little and try to move on.
This quarter was tough, I guess I can take this as a lesson learned but only spring quarter will reflect if I have learned anything from winter.
So right now, I’m listening to Keyshia Cole, in my dining room/living room/kitchen in my apartment, alone, reading some old LJ postings and wishing I could be with qteam again.
The first entry is about the summer with USSA Congress ( Summer) and qteam’s GWEN Project training and then the second entry is qteam and the GWEN Project itself ( qteam).
I’ve come a long way since the summer, and I’m not very sure if it’s for the better.
I’m not really sure what I am going to do for spring break. I don’t have the money to go back home, and I don’t want to go home to my parents. Too much bullshit and shit talking, yet again, on their part concerning my cousin and uncle in Oregon and Washington. This is cousin who I stayed with for 4 days in Portland. My parents called me up like two nights ago just asking hella shit, talking hella bullshit. They on saying that I’m an adult now, and that I should be telling them where I go and who I see. I’m tired of their shit, and this is one of the reasons as to why I am not going home to my house. I might as well tell them I’m queer so they can disown me already. I’m jealous of people who have a good connection with their families, because I don’t, I rarely talk to my parents, and when I’m home, I lock myself in my room. Yeah…I guess this can be another entry but not right now.
So again, I am probably going to be staying here in Santa Cruz, alone. It is probably a good thing, because I have nothing to worry me right now, I am alone and have time to think.
Cheers to a pleasant spring break.
<3 Tommy