Isolation

[tout_savoir]

I hate this feeling. The last time I had it was during first year, before the troll incident that brought Harry, Ron, and I together. Damn Harry for having to leave. And damn Ron for being such a bloody prick that he can't even find the time to talk to me. My two best friends have almost abandoned me completely, and where can I turn? The rest of the school couldn't care less about me because they think that all I want to do is show them up. Were I to go to my professors, my reputation as teacher's pet would only intensify. So what the bloody hell am I supposed to do?

Contrary to popular belief, I don't want to study all the time. I'd love to look forward to a weekend off with my best friends. But I don't think I'm going to do anything but homework. Ron's got Quidditch practise and says to me, "I know you'll understand Hermione, you always do." Right. Blow off Hermione because she'll always be there when you come back. But damn you Ron, one day I won't be there and then what will you do? One day you're going to push me past a boundary that I can't even see.

I know there are people in this castle who would invite me to hang out with them if they knew how I was feeling. But I don't want pity. I just want to be held for a bit. I just want someone to genuinely want to be around me.

I hate crying. It's so useless.