(no subject)
I want a crossover. It is a very long and involved crossover. Using a plot point from Jasper Fforde's 'Lost in a Good Book', I want it so that John Watson from BBC's Sherlock is somehow stranded in 'The Hobbit' through the Literary Detective division Mycroft is kind enough to engage his services for (when John believes Sherlock is dead). At this point, I want him to be stranded back in time, to when the book is first being written, and for Tolkien to have called it 'The Dwarves' as a precursor to Gimli's role in 'The Lord of the Rings' (totally not canon but oh hell, what in this world is) and then I'd love it to be that John's not actually properly indoctrinated into the methods of the literary detectives and all the information he receives on his character is to be stuffy, 'respectable' and resistant to leaving Bag-End. Cue Gandalf and the Dwarves and he's meant to be only a bit part in a larger story about dwarves and he does what he's supposed to do, thinking of the real Bilbo and how he'd react. But then his Watson side takes over and he's been through the drafting and re-drafting of his 'respectable' introduction and refusal to join the quest so many times that he's sick of it. He's John Watson, and he's sick of Bag End and Lobellia Sackville-Baggins is frankly more terrifying than a parcel of insane dwarves who think thirteen old people and kids are enough to kill a dragon that destroyed an entire army, So he breaks ranks, tears off his shackles, and he's suddenly John Watson (hear his roar) and he's pounding down the litttle picturesque roads of Hobbiton wth the lightest heart he's had since he can't even remember. Cue a confused Tolkien, who has no idea why the hell a hobbit is suddenly turning into the hero of his book. John has no guns in the book, no rehearsed script, no actual knowledge of what the hell is going on, and so all he has left is to be what Bilbo is supposed to be - a very confused hobbit getting by on wits and luck. And having worked with Sherlock he isn't particularly overawed by Thorin, though he does come to respect him. He's also been in the army in a war zone so he isn't too fussed about deprivation and hard living. He does get a bit weirded out by relying on swords and knives, and having to look up so damn much because his fictional role is short and curly-haired.