Isolation and abandonment
In the past when I thought about growing up and being an adult I never anticipated it being such a struggle between maintaining youth and accepting a certain amount of conformity and sacrifice of individuality. It's not bad though, I know I could certainly be facing worse circumstances but I just figured that the future would turn out how I imagined it and that it would be a fun, simple transition. Obviously I'm naive and misinformed about life. So there it is, laying in bed fully dressed turning my mind in circles I've decided what I'm going to do in the coming week.
And then there's everyone else. A fool to think you can plan life with someone else always being there even if it's just months ahead, you'll never be able to see those thoughts through to memories. As time drips by for me, it's speeding by for friends who fade into some other world I've yet to see despite several applications. Still sitting at home at the time computer writing to myself when I wish it were someone, someone who'd write me back but even those are few and far between these days. It's hard to find someone to call you back and someone to listen should I ever speak more than a mumble.
All this brought on by a film of some consequence to me, but just a drop of rain in a monsoon of shit movies. I knew better going into it, I hate to watch a movie knowing that its purpose is to reinforce hope/belief that love overcomes all. Even more devastating is a movie where that was taken away from me. Though the love was a bond of the characters through to the end, their ultimate separation was enough damage, as has this entry.
And then there's everyone else. A fool to think you can plan life with someone else always being there even if it's just months ahead, you'll never be able to see those thoughts through to memories. As time drips by for me, it's speeding by for friends who fade into some other world I've yet to see despite several applications. Still sitting at home at the time computer writing to myself when I wish it were someone, someone who'd write me back but even those are few and far between these days. It's hard to find someone to call you back and someone to listen should I ever speak more than a mumble.
All this brought on by a film of some consequence to me, but just a drop of rain in a monsoon of shit movies. I knew better going into it, I hate to watch a movie knowing that its purpose is to reinforce hope/belief that love overcomes all. Even more devastating is a movie where that was taken away from me. Though the love was a bond of the characters through to the end, their ultimate separation was enough damage, as has this entry.