Fic: Breaking up is hard to do (Especially when you don't mean to)
Title: Breaking Up is Hard to Do, (Especially when you Don't Mean To)
Disclaimer: I don't own em, I if I did glee would probably have to be on a different channel.
Rating: PG-13-ish
Spoilers: 3x17 and general season 3 spoilers
Characters: Mainly, Kurt, Blaine, Sam, Finn, Mercedes.
Warnings: Bad Language, accusations of cheating
Word count: 3,965
Summary: Maybe that song wasn't the best choice to sing if you weren't actually trying to break up.
A/N: Written for
this prompt over at the glee angst meme...it kinda went all awol on me though.
Kurt can’t believe that Blaine is doing this to him, not like this. Not in front of all his friends, some of who are chiming in. He sucks in a breath and tries not to cry, he really does, but his throat feels so tight and he just can’t breathe. He doesn’t notice Finn frowning, he doesn’t notice the surprised glances that Mike keeps throwing his way, he doesn’t notice that Sam looks kinda pissed, the only thing he’s completely aware of, is that Blaine is breaking up with him, through song, in front of everyone. It kind of makes him want to curl up and die. Blaine really gets into it now, and Kurt just can’t take it anymore.
He tries to slip out of the room unnoticed, but the music has stopped and Blaine’s stopped singing and Kurt’s pretty sure everyone heard him sob as he tries to escape.
“Why did you have to do it like this?” He asks softly, brokenly, but he doesn’t stick around for an answer. He ignores Mercedes calling for him, and dodges around Mr. Schue’s hand as he makes his escape. Once Kurt is gone, Finn explodes out of his seat and Blaine is bewildered, wondering just what happened. Sam gives him the nastiest look Blaine thinks he has ever received, and Blaine has been on the receiving end of some pretty nasty looks, and the blonde goes after Kurt.
Kurt is quicker than Sam would have thought, because he actually has to run to catch him and as soon as his hand comes into contact with Kurt’s arm, he attempts to jerk it away. Sam tightens his grip, and doesn’t let Kurt wiggle free. Sam considers Kurt to be one of the better people he knows, he had helped him when he needed it without making him feel like it was charity. He brought him clothes, offered to help with his siblings, hell he even brought them dinner more than once. If it hadn’t been for Kurt and Quinn, Sam wasn’t sure if he would have been able to survive.
All either got was cruel remarks and rumors about them in return.
Sam has to admit, he is not Blaine’s biggest fan. In fact, he kind of thinks the kid is a showboating douche. Sure they hang out with the other glee guys sometimes, but ever since their first little scuffle in the rehearsal room, Sam hasn’t really liked him. Sure Sam can put on his big kid pants and deal with the kid, he can be friendly and treat him like he does everyone else, but right now, he just wants to punch him in the face. What he did was bullshit, if he was going to break up with Kurt, did he really have to do it in front of everyone? Did he really have to humiliate him in front of his friends? The fact that several other members of the glee club joined in, well that certainly didn’t help any.
Sam drags Kurt to him, because he can’t think of anything else to do, and Kurt is actually crying. The kid had been through so much that Sam isn’t sure just how much more he can take. Kurt pushes at him for less than ten seconds before breaking down even further, his hand fisting into Sam’s shirt. Sam wraps his arms around Kurt tightly, hugging him close, because he really hates to see anyone cry, and Kurt is hurting and Sam is just trying to hold him together.
“Why did he have to do that in front of everyone?” Kurt’s voice is so small; it strengthens Sam’s desire to punch Blaine in the face. Sam just tightens his hold instead and murmurs soothing words to him. Finally he hears a soft noise behind him and Tina is standing there, holding Kurt and his bags. He nods at her, but she’s smart enough not to approach.
“Let’s go home ok?” Sam suggests, and releases Kurt long enough to grab their bags and then texts Finn letting him now they were leaving. He loops one arm around Kurt’s still shaking shoulders and leads him outside.
*****
Finn had just been pacing around in agitation while the others talked quietly in shocked tones. Until he got Sam’s text about how Kurt, his brother, was crying, and he was taking him home. The next thing he knows Blaine is stumbling backwards, and Finn realizes that he’s just pushed him, hard.
“You had to do it like that?” Finn demands. “You had to break up with him in front of everyone?”
“I...What? I wasn’t breaking up with him!” Blaine protests and then paled, because well he just sang that song and said it was about cheating, and it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together and jump to the conclusion that Kurt obviously had.
“Dude, that was seriously not cool.” Puck admits shaking his head, and Blaine wonders how bad he fucked up if even Puck of all people was telling him it was stupid to do.
“Where’s Kurt now?” Blaine asks, sounding desperate even to his own ears. He really hadn’t meant he wanted to break up by singing that song, it just happened to be a song that not only fit the assignment, but fit how he felt too.
“You stay the fuck away from him.” Finn warns him, and Blaine isn’t sure if he’s ever seen Finn look so angry, and he admits, he’s a little scared at how aggressive Finn suddenly appears. Sure they hadn’t gotten along in the beginning, but Blaine had never been afraid of him before.
“I wasn’t breaking up with him!” Blaine says again, because he has nothing else to say.
“I don’t care, because he thinks you were. You made him cry, you embarrassed him in front of his friends, why on earth would I let you anywhere near him after this?”
“So I can apologize.” Blaine says plainly, and admits he flinches when Finn shoulders past.
“Stay away from my brother; I’m not going to tell you again.” Finn disappears out the door and Blaine stands there feeling drained, wondering if he’s just fucked up one of the best things in his life. He isn’t suicidal, he won’t show up at Kurt’s house, because he knows both Finn and Sam will be there and he isn’t sure either of them won’t actually hurt him.
Blaine figures if he waits a day or two, he can talk to Kurt, explain that he wasn’t breaking up with him; it was just the best song choice for how he was feeling at the moment.
*****
The weekend goes by, and Blaine gives Kurt space, he thinks they both need it to cool down. On Monday he realizes that he’s only seen Kurt once, and it’s not long enough to request a talk. The next few days are the same and it doesn’t take Blaine long to realize that Kurt is actively avoiding him and that several members of the glee club are helping him do it. He thinks about cornering Rachel, because she likes him well enough and might tell him something, but then realizes that Finn wouldn’t be far behind. He doesn’t mean to just demand that Brittany tell him where Kurt is, but that’s how it comes out. He wishes he hadn’t said anything to her at all when she looks at him though.
“You broke my friend’s heart.” She tells him, and the look on her face kind of freaks him out. Brittany seems really sweet and a little dumb usually but she looks pissed. Her face softens after a moment and she sighs. “You sang a break up song to him in front of all his friends. Even I know a break up song when I hear one.”
“I wasn’t actually breaking up with him!” Blaine protests “I just thought that song not only fit how I was feeling, but it fit the assignment, I didn’t mean it like I wanted to break up with him, I was just upset!”
“You were hurt, and you wanted to hurt him back.” Brittany corrects him, having a rare moment of insight and Blaine falls silent, because he doesn’t want to admit to it, but he thinks that’s probably true.
“I can’t help you Blaine.” Brittany tells him, before shutting her locker and walking down the hall, meeting Santana half way. When Blaine turns, feeling disheartened, he sees Kurt at the end of the hall, Mercedes at his side. Now, he would have gone over, but while Finn and Sam make him nervous, Mercedes actually kind of scares him. He’s spent time with her, and while for a while, it looked like she and Kurt were drifting apart, they were starting to become close again, and he had a very real fear that she might beat the shit out of him.
Kurt spots him, and shakes his head, disappearing into a nearby classroom. Mercedes is stalking towards him, and Blaine realizes he’s got nowhere to go, and braces himself for the smack down that is about to befall him, he can only hope it will be verbal.
“Give me one good reason not to break your face.” She tells him, and Blaine’s mind goes blank. He can’t think of a single reason, but he would really prefer if she wouldn’t break his face. He kind of likes his face the way it is, all not broken and the like.
“Because I didn’t actually break up with Kurt?” Blaine finally offers, and hopes it’s enough for her not to break his face.
“Really, because you sang a break up song very aggressively to my boy in front of everyone, you made yourself pretty damn clear.” Mercedes says and Blaine sighs in frustration, because he really hadn’t been breaking up with Kurt.
“I really wasn’t though! If I could just talk to Kurt for a minute I could tell him that!” Blaine realizes he may have taken his annoyance out on Mercedes because she does look like she might haul off and break his face after all.
“Kurt doesn’t want to talk to you.” She says instead. “Why do you think he turned tail and ran as soon as he saw you? Do you have any idea what this weekend was like? Finn, Sam, and I spent nearly all weekend just trying to coax Kurt out of his room. In case you were wondering, it didn’t work. I don’t really care what went down between the two of you; all I care about is that my boy thinks that you broke up with him. I will tell you this once, and only once, unless you can fix him, then stay the hell away from him.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt him!” Blaine protests, feeling guilty and Mercedes sets him with a look that almost makes him shudder.
“Bullshit. You wanted to hurt him, so you did. You know I never thought you would stoop so low as to call him out in front of everyone. I’ve seen my boy get hurt time and time again, but I’ve never seen him not be able to pull himself out of bed. So good job Blaine, you did what none of the bullies could ever do, you actually broke him.” She whirled on her heel and stalked off, leaving Blaine standing dumbfounded in her wake.
“Damn it,” He finally mutters before heading down the hall in the opposite direction.
*****
Blaine realizes that if he wants to talk to Kurt, he’s probably going to have to ambush him. The problem with this is that Kurt was almost never alone. He also learned pretty quickly not to call Kurt’s house. The last time he had, he’d had a rather frightening conversation with Carole of all people threatening him with Burt’s shot gun. At school, Blaine was smart enough to stay clear when Kurt was with Finn, Sam, or Mercedes. He was still fairly certain that Finn or Mercedes might hurt him, and Sam just didn’t speak to him, but the looks were more than enough to know where Sam stood on the subject.
He finally lucks out when Artie lets him know that Kurt was in the rehearsal room, and his bodyguards were nowhere to be seen. Blaine thanked him quickly and darted into the room. Sure enough, Kurt sat on the piano bench putting things into his bag.
“Sorry Finn, I’m…you are not Finn.” Kurt says looking up, and looking anything but happy to see him there.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” Blaine replies and Kurt doesn’t reply. He looks like a trapped animal, and Blaine knows that he needs to set this right. “So, Mercedes threatened to break my face.”
“I’m surprised she hasn’t.” Kurt replies, it’s not snide, it’s almost genuinely surprised.
“Well, we were in public.” Blaine concedes, like that makes sense why she wouldn’t. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for the past few days, but Finn and Mercedes are scary and Sam won’t actually speak to me so I’m not sure if he’s actually thinking about punching my lights out or not.”
“He is.” Kurt tells him flatly and Blaine flinches.
“Oh, well good to know I guess…listen, I know you don’t want to talk to me, but please, just listen to me for just a few minutes ok?” Kurt glances at his watch, before giving Blaine a sharp nod.
“You have five minutes before Finn shows up.” Is Kurt’s answer before he folds in on himself a little.
“I wasn’t breaking up with you.” Blaine blurts out. “I was just upset, and that song fit how I was feeling and the assignment, but I wasn’t trying to break up with you.”
“You know if you wanted to break up with me, I would understand, but to do it that way? You accused me of cheating on you, but you know what? You did the exact same thing with Sebastian, I saw some of the texts he sent you Blaine, and they were far from innocent. So why is it when it was you, it was just being friendly, but when it’s me, I’m cheating?”
“Kurt,” Blaine begins, because he guesses he can see how while his texts were platonic, Sebastian’s weren’t. Kurt cuts him off before he can say anything else.
“Unless you want to get punched, I suggest you go, Finn will be here in about a minute.”
“I don’t care!” Blaine shouts and Kurt startles. “I don’t care if he punches me, I don’t care if Mercedes breaks my face…well ok, I’ll care a little if she breaks my face, but I have to make you understand!”
“Understand what?” Kurt asks tiredly. “That you broke up with me in front of everyone in glee? You say you didn’t, but how else was I supposed to take that Blaine?” He stands suddenly and swings his bag over his shoulder and makes to walk past.
Before Blaine even fully thinks it out, he’s crowding in Kurt’s space, and forcing him into a hug, that he’s pretty sure Kurt doesn’t want. He loves Kurt, he wasn’t breaking up with him, and he has to make Kurt understand that.
“Kurt, I wasn’t breaking up with you!” Blaine says again. “You’re right, I sang that song really aggressively and I called you out in front of your friends. That was low, and I shouldn’t have done that, but I was just expressing how I felt at the time, it never once crossed my mind you would actually take that to mean I was breaking up with you. I was hurt because you were talking to someone else and I… I guess I wanted to hurt you back.” Kurt’s taller, but Blaine is stronger, and he’s able to keep hold of Kurt even though he’s struggling in his hold, after a moment he finally stills, and Blaine tightens his hold.
“You just stopped talking to me, you distanced yourself, and then you did that, what was I supposed to think Blaine?”
“I’m sorry, I know I was distancing myself from you, but all I ever heard about was NYADA and how excited you were to get out of here, and you’re going to leave me behind. I was trying to distance myself some so I could get use to the feeling; maybe it wouldn’t hurt so badly then.”
“You could have just said something.” Kurt replies blandly, and Blaine blinks. “I’m not a mind reader Blaine, how am I supposed to know if something is bothering you if you won’t tell me?” He wiggles free of Blaine’s hold and Blaine wants to reach out for him again, but Kurt takes a step backwards.
“You and my dad and Rachel, you all talk like NYADA is a sure thing. I wish I was sure I’d be leaving everyone behind as everyone else seems to be. Considering it kind of sucks that you and my own dad keep distancing yourself for something that might not even work out for me.” With that, Kurt stepped around Blaine and disappeared down the hall. Blaine could vaguely hear Finn’s voice carry down and after a moment of hesitation, Blaine goes after him.
“Kurt,” He calls and he tries to pretend he does not see how murderous Finn looks at his voice. “I’m not done talking to you yet, we still need to talk.”
“I warned you Anderson,” Finn says stalking forward, and ignoring the fact that Kurt was pulling on his arm. “What part of stay away from him don’t you understand? I said stay away from my brother!”
“Finn,” Kurt warns and Finn paused just inches from grabbing Blaine. “It’s ok, I’ll talk to him. Just…wait for me ok? It’s won’t take but a minute.”
“Fine,” Finn replies, but he looks anything but happy about it. Kurt folded his arms and waited and Blaine shifts a little, Finn is at least three lockers down before he starts talking.
“I didn’t know you were feeling like that Kurt, you mentioned you were nervous, but I thought you just meant about the audition, I didn’t think you meant about getting in at all.”
“It doesn’t matter, it’s not the issue. The issue is that you just assumed I would leave you the second I graduated. You should have talked to me. If you had this whole thing probably could have been avoided. I only started talking to Chandler because he actually talked back! It was nice having someone who at least appeared interested. I already told him we couldn’t really hang out, and I told him I couldn’t talk to him anymore.”
“I never did that with Sebastian.” Blaine mentions quietly.
“No, you didn’t. You spoke, and visited, and texted, and I was just supposed to accept that. And I did, because I trusted you.”
“Kurt,” Blaine says distressed, because shit, he’s pretty sure he messed up a lot bigger than he originally thought.
“No Blaine, I trusted you when you said it was just texts and talks. I didn’t attack you when you leaked our set list to him. I believed you every time you said that is was friendly, I didn’t confront you about how awful some of his texts made me feel. You let him insult me, and did nothing. So I’m sorry, I should have told you about Chandler, but you did the exact same thing with Sebastian. I never called you out in front of everyone, not like you did to me. I never shut you out.”
“I can’t take that back.” Blaine says finally, head spinning a little. “I can’t take it back at all, I’m sorry. I was just trying to express my feelings and maybe I overacted, I don’t know, but what I do know, without any uncertainty is that I love you!”
“I don’t doubt it.” Kurt says gently and Blaine has a sinking feeling in his stomach. “I’m sorry if me talking about NYADA bothered you, I’m sorry if you thought you were going to lose me, and I’m sorry about the texts, but I can’t change any of that.”
“So what does this mean for us? I mean, there is still an us isn’t there? I wasn’t actually breaking up with you, I made a poor song choice, and I can see how you and everyone else thought I was, but I wasn’t breaking up with you. At least, I wasn’t doing it on purpose.”
“I don’t know Blaine; we seem to hurt each other a lot.”
“We can work on it. I don’t want to lose you Kurt, this is the last time we’ll be together before you go to school, and I have all the faith in the world you will get into NYADA. Can’t we spend it together?” Blaine says earnestly, and Kurt hesitates for a second.
“I love you Blaine, and I’m sorry that you were hurt.” Is what he says, and Blaine thinks if he really tallies it up, he’s probably hurt Kurt just as frequently, and just as badly, maybe even worse.
“I love you too, that’s why I wasn’t breaking up with you. I wouldn’t break up with you Kurt, especially not like that.” He reaches out for Kurt, and when Kurt doesn’t pull away when Blaine’s hand comes into contact with his arm, Blaine takes that as an invite to fold his arms around him.
“I deleted Chandler from my phone.” Kurt’s voice is muffled, but Blaine hears it none the less.
“You didn’t have to do all that.” Blaine replies, but secretly he’s glad. Even though he never deleted Sebastian from his phone, even after he nearly blinded him, he just blocked his number.
“Obviously I did if you got that upset about it.” And that makes Blaine feel guilty again, but he squashes down on the feeling. “I’m sorry I upset you, I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know you didn’t, I meant to hurt you though, and I’m so sorry.” Blaine admits and Kurt stiffens slightly. “I wanted you to hurt like I was hurting, and I should be a bigger person than that. If anyone should be breaking up with anyone, you should probably be breaking up with me for that.”
“We have to stop hurting each other Blaine, if we’re going to make this work; we have got to stop hurting each other.” Blaine tightens his arms around Kurt, because they would make it work. There was still an us, even if Kurt hadn’t flat out said it.
“We will.” Blaine assures him, because he isn’t sure what else to say. When Kurt finally loosens his stiff posture in his hold a little, Blaine smiles, and that smile widens, when Kurt hugs him back. “Call off your guard dogs?”
“I’m sure I can get Finn and Sam to back off if I talk enough, but Mercedes…she might mess you up just as a warning.”
“Can you at least ask her not to break my face? I kind of like it all not broken.”
“Yeah, I kind of like your face not broken too.” Kurt agrees, and pulls out of Blaine’s arms. He stares at him for a moment, searches his face, but he seems to find what he was looking for. “I make no promises, but I’ll see what I can do.”
And then Kurt smiled, that hesitant slightly self-conscious smile that Blaine only saw every once in a while, the one that he knew very few people ever got to see, and when he held out his hand, Kurt reached out for it, and Blaine knew they were going to be ok.
If Mercedes didn’t break his face, that is.
Disclaimer: I don't own em, I if I did glee would probably have to be on a different channel.
Rating: PG-13-ish
Spoilers: 3x17 and general season 3 spoilers
Characters: Mainly, Kurt, Blaine, Sam, Finn, Mercedes.
Warnings: Bad Language, accusations of cheating
Word count: 3,965
Summary: Maybe that song wasn't the best choice to sing if you weren't actually trying to break up.
A/N: Written for
this prompt over at the glee angst meme...it kinda went all awol on me though.
Kurt can’t believe that Blaine is doing this to him, not like this. Not in front of all his friends, some of who are chiming in. He sucks in a breath and tries not to cry, he really does, but his throat feels so tight and he just can’t breathe. He doesn’t notice Finn frowning, he doesn’t notice the surprised glances that Mike keeps throwing his way, he doesn’t notice that Sam looks kinda pissed, the only thing he’s completely aware of, is that Blaine is breaking up with him, through song, in front of everyone. It kind of makes him want to curl up and die. Blaine really gets into it now, and Kurt just can’t take it anymore.
He tries to slip out of the room unnoticed, but the music has stopped and Blaine’s stopped singing and Kurt’s pretty sure everyone heard him sob as he tries to escape.
“Why did you have to do it like this?” He asks softly, brokenly, but he doesn’t stick around for an answer. He ignores Mercedes calling for him, and dodges around Mr. Schue’s hand as he makes his escape. Once Kurt is gone, Finn explodes out of his seat and Blaine is bewildered, wondering just what happened. Sam gives him the nastiest look Blaine thinks he has ever received, and Blaine has been on the receiving end of some pretty nasty looks, and the blonde goes after Kurt.
Kurt is quicker than Sam would have thought, because he actually has to run to catch him and as soon as his hand comes into contact with Kurt’s arm, he attempts to jerk it away. Sam tightens his grip, and doesn’t let Kurt wiggle free. Sam considers Kurt to be one of the better people he knows, he had helped him when he needed it without making him feel like it was charity. He brought him clothes, offered to help with his siblings, hell he even brought them dinner more than once. If it hadn’t been for Kurt and Quinn, Sam wasn’t sure if he would have been able to survive.
All either got was cruel remarks and rumors about them in return.
Sam has to admit, he is not Blaine’s biggest fan. In fact, he kind of thinks the kid is a showboating douche. Sure they hang out with the other glee guys sometimes, but ever since their first little scuffle in the rehearsal room, Sam hasn’t really liked him. Sure Sam can put on his big kid pants and deal with the kid, he can be friendly and treat him like he does everyone else, but right now, he just wants to punch him in the face. What he did was bullshit, if he was going to break up with Kurt, did he really have to do it in front of everyone? Did he really have to humiliate him in front of his friends? The fact that several other members of the glee club joined in, well that certainly didn’t help any.
Sam drags Kurt to him, because he can’t think of anything else to do, and Kurt is actually crying. The kid had been through so much that Sam isn’t sure just how much more he can take. Kurt pushes at him for less than ten seconds before breaking down even further, his hand fisting into Sam’s shirt. Sam wraps his arms around Kurt tightly, hugging him close, because he really hates to see anyone cry, and Kurt is hurting and Sam is just trying to hold him together.
“Why did he have to do that in front of everyone?” Kurt’s voice is so small; it strengthens Sam’s desire to punch Blaine in the face. Sam just tightens his hold instead and murmurs soothing words to him. Finally he hears a soft noise behind him and Tina is standing there, holding Kurt and his bags. He nods at her, but she’s smart enough not to approach.
“Let’s go home ok?” Sam suggests, and releases Kurt long enough to grab their bags and then texts Finn letting him now they were leaving. He loops one arm around Kurt’s still shaking shoulders and leads him outside.
*****
Finn had just been pacing around in agitation while the others talked quietly in shocked tones. Until he got Sam’s text about how Kurt, his brother, was crying, and he was taking him home. The next thing he knows Blaine is stumbling backwards, and Finn realizes that he’s just pushed him, hard.
“You had to do it like that?” Finn demands. “You had to break up with him in front of everyone?”
“I...What? I wasn’t breaking up with him!” Blaine protests and then paled, because well he just sang that song and said it was about cheating, and it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together and jump to the conclusion that Kurt obviously had.
“Dude, that was seriously not cool.” Puck admits shaking his head, and Blaine wonders how bad he fucked up if even Puck of all people was telling him it was stupid to do.
“Where’s Kurt now?” Blaine asks, sounding desperate even to his own ears. He really hadn’t meant he wanted to break up by singing that song, it just happened to be a song that not only fit the assignment, but fit how he felt too.
“You stay the fuck away from him.” Finn warns him, and Blaine isn’t sure if he’s ever seen Finn look so angry, and he admits, he’s a little scared at how aggressive Finn suddenly appears. Sure they hadn’t gotten along in the beginning, but Blaine had never been afraid of him before.
“I wasn’t breaking up with him!” Blaine says again, because he has nothing else to say.
“I don’t care, because he thinks you were. You made him cry, you embarrassed him in front of his friends, why on earth would I let you anywhere near him after this?”
“So I can apologize.” Blaine says plainly, and admits he flinches when Finn shoulders past.
“Stay away from my brother; I’m not going to tell you again.” Finn disappears out the door and Blaine stands there feeling drained, wondering if he’s just fucked up one of the best things in his life. He isn’t suicidal, he won’t show up at Kurt’s house, because he knows both Finn and Sam will be there and he isn’t sure either of them won’t actually hurt him.
Blaine figures if he waits a day or two, he can talk to Kurt, explain that he wasn’t breaking up with him; it was just the best song choice for how he was feeling at the moment.
*****
The weekend goes by, and Blaine gives Kurt space, he thinks they both need it to cool down. On Monday he realizes that he’s only seen Kurt once, and it’s not long enough to request a talk. The next few days are the same and it doesn’t take Blaine long to realize that Kurt is actively avoiding him and that several members of the glee club are helping him do it. He thinks about cornering Rachel, because she likes him well enough and might tell him something, but then realizes that Finn wouldn’t be far behind. He doesn’t mean to just demand that Brittany tell him where Kurt is, but that’s how it comes out. He wishes he hadn’t said anything to her at all when she looks at him though.
“You broke my friend’s heart.” She tells him, and the look on her face kind of freaks him out. Brittany seems really sweet and a little dumb usually but she looks pissed. Her face softens after a moment and she sighs. “You sang a break up song to him in front of all his friends. Even I know a break up song when I hear one.”
“I wasn’t actually breaking up with him!” Blaine protests “I just thought that song not only fit how I was feeling, but it fit the assignment, I didn’t mean it like I wanted to break up with him, I was just upset!”
“You were hurt, and you wanted to hurt him back.” Brittany corrects him, having a rare moment of insight and Blaine falls silent, because he doesn’t want to admit to it, but he thinks that’s probably true.
“I can’t help you Blaine.” Brittany tells him, before shutting her locker and walking down the hall, meeting Santana half way. When Blaine turns, feeling disheartened, he sees Kurt at the end of the hall, Mercedes at his side. Now, he would have gone over, but while Finn and Sam make him nervous, Mercedes actually kind of scares him. He’s spent time with her, and while for a while, it looked like she and Kurt were drifting apart, they were starting to become close again, and he had a very real fear that she might beat the shit out of him.
Kurt spots him, and shakes his head, disappearing into a nearby classroom. Mercedes is stalking towards him, and Blaine realizes he’s got nowhere to go, and braces himself for the smack down that is about to befall him, he can only hope it will be verbal.
“Give me one good reason not to break your face.” She tells him, and Blaine’s mind goes blank. He can’t think of a single reason, but he would really prefer if she wouldn’t break his face. He kind of likes his face the way it is, all not broken and the like.
“Because I didn’t actually break up with Kurt?” Blaine finally offers, and hopes it’s enough for her not to break his face.
“Really, because you sang a break up song very aggressively to my boy in front of everyone, you made yourself pretty damn clear.” Mercedes says and Blaine sighs in frustration, because he really hadn’t been breaking up with Kurt.
“I really wasn’t though! If I could just talk to Kurt for a minute I could tell him that!” Blaine realizes he may have taken his annoyance out on Mercedes because she does look like she might haul off and break his face after all.
“Kurt doesn’t want to talk to you.” She says instead. “Why do you think he turned tail and ran as soon as he saw you? Do you have any idea what this weekend was like? Finn, Sam, and I spent nearly all weekend just trying to coax Kurt out of his room. In case you were wondering, it didn’t work. I don’t really care what went down between the two of you; all I care about is that my boy thinks that you broke up with him. I will tell you this once, and only once, unless you can fix him, then stay the hell away from him.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt him!” Blaine protests, feeling guilty and Mercedes sets him with a look that almost makes him shudder.
“Bullshit. You wanted to hurt him, so you did. You know I never thought you would stoop so low as to call him out in front of everyone. I’ve seen my boy get hurt time and time again, but I’ve never seen him not be able to pull himself out of bed. So good job Blaine, you did what none of the bullies could ever do, you actually broke him.” She whirled on her heel and stalked off, leaving Blaine standing dumbfounded in her wake.
“Damn it,” He finally mutters before heading down the hall in the opposite direction.
*****
Blaine realizes that if he wants to talk to Kurt, he’s probably going to have to ambush him. The problem with this is that Kurt was almost never alone. He also learned pretty quickly not to call Kurt’s house. The last time he had, he’d had a rather frightening conversation with Carole of all people threatening him with Burt’s shot gun. At school, Blaine was smart enough to stay clear when Kurt was with Finn, Sam, or Mercedes. He was still fairly certain that Finn or Mercedes might hurt him, and Sam just didn’t speak to him, but the looks were more than enough to know where Sam stood on the subject.
He finally lucks out when Artie lets him know that Kurt was in the rehearsal room, and his bodyguards were nowhere to be seen. Blaine thanked him quickly and darted into the room. Sure enough, Kurt sat on the piano bench putting things into his bag.
“Sorry Finn, I’m…you are not Finn.” Kurt says looking up, and looking anything but happy to see him there.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” Blaine replies and Kurt doesn’t reply. He looks like a trapped animal, and Blaine knows that he needs to set this right. “So, Mercedes threatened to break my face.”
“I’m surprised she hasn’t.” Kurt replies, it’s not snide, it’s almost genuinely surprised.
“Well, we were in public.” Blaine concedes, like that makes sense why she wouldn’t. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for the past few days, but Finn and Mercedes are scary and Sam won’t actually speak to me so I’m not sure if he’s actually thinking about punching my lights out or not.”
“He is.” Kurt tells him flatly and Blaine flinches.
“Oh, well good to know I guess…listen, I know you don’t want to talk to me, but please, just listen to me for just a few minutes ok?” Kurt glances at his watch, before giving Blaine a sharp nod.
“You have five minutes before Finn shows up.” Is Kurt’s answer before he folds in on himself a little.
“I wasn’t breaking up with you.” Blaine blurts out. “I was just upset, and that song fit how I was feeling and the assignment, but I wasn’t trying to break up with you.”
“You know if you wanted to break up with me, I would understand, but to do it that way? You accused me of cheating on you, but you know what? You did the exact same thing with Sebastian, I saw some of the texts he sent you Blaine, and they were far from innocent. So why is it when it was you, it was just being friendly, but when it’s me, I’m cheating?”
“Kurt,” Blaine begins, because he guesses he can see how while his texts were platonic, Sebastian’s weren’t. Kurt cuts him off before he can say anything else.
“Unless you want to get punched, I suggest you go, Finn will be here in about a minute.”
“I don’t care!” Blaine shouts and Kurt startles. “I don’t care if he punches me, I don’t care if Mercedes breaks my face…well ok, I’ll care a little if she breaks my face, but I have to make you understand!”
“Understand what?” Kurt asks tiredly. “That you broke up with me in front of everyone in glee? You say you didn’t, but how else was I supposed to take that Blaine?” He stands suddenly and swings his bag over his shoulder and makes to walk past.
Before Blaine even fully thinks it out, he’s crowding in Kurt’s space, and forcing him into a hug, that he’s pretty sure Kurt doesn’t want. He loves Kurt, he wasn’t breaking up with him, and he has to make Kurt understand that.
“Kurt, I wasn’t breaking up with you!” Blaine says again. “You’re right, I sang that song really aggressively and I called you out in front of your friends. That was low, and I shouldn’t have done that, but I was just expressing how I felt at the time, it never once crossed my mind you would actually take that to mean I was breaking up with you. I was hurt because you were talking to someone else and I… I guess I wanted to hurt you back.” Kurt’s taller, but Blaine is stronger, and he’s able to keep hold of Kurt even though he’s struggling in his hold, after a moment he finally stills, and Blaine tightens his hold.
“You just stopped talking to me, you distanced yourself, and then you did that, what was I supposed to think Blaine?”
“I’m sorry, I know I was distancing myself from you, but all I ever heard about was NYADA and how excited you were to get out of here, and you’re going to leave me behind. I was trying to distance myself some so I could get use to the feeling; maybe it wouldn’t hurt so badly then.”
“You could have just said something.” Kurt replies blandly, and Blaine blinks. “I’m not a mind reader Blaine, how am I supposed to know if something is bothering you if you won’t tell me?” He wiggles free of Blaine’s hold and Blaine wants to reach out for him again, but Kurt takes a step backwards.
“You and my dad and Rachel, you all talk like NYADA is a sure thing. I wish I was sure I’d be leaving everyone behind as everyone else seems to be. Considering it kind of sucks that you and my own dad keep distancing yourself for something that might not even work out for me.” With that, Kurt stepped around Blaine and disappeared down the hall. Blaine could vaguely hear Finn’s voice carry down and after a moment of hesitation, Blaine goes after him.
“Kurt,” He calls and he tries to pretend he does not see how murderous Finn looks at his voice. “I’m not done talking to you yet, we still need to talk.”
“I warned you Anderson,” Finn says stalking forward, and ignoring the fact that Kurt was pulling on his arm. “What part of stay away from him don’t you understand? I said stay away from my brother!”
“Finn,” Kurt warns and Finn paused just inches from grabbing Blaine. “It’s ok, I’ll talk to him. Just…wait for me ok? It’s won’t take but a minute.”
“Fine,” Finn replies, but he looks anything but happy about it. Kurt folded his arms and waited and Blaine shifts a little, Finn is at least three lockers down before he starts talking.
“I didn’t know you were feeling like that Kurt, you mentioned you were nervous, but I thought you just meant about the audition, I didn’t think you meant about getting in at all.”
“It doesn’t matter, it’s not the issue. The issue is that you just assumed I would leave you the second I graduated. You should have talked to me. If you had this whole thing probably could have been avoided. I only started talking to Chandler because he actually talked back! It was nice having someone who at least appeared interested. I already told him we couldn’t really hang out, and I told him I couldn’t talk to him anymore.”
“I never did that with Sebastian.” Blaine mentions quietly.
“No, you didn’t. You spoke, and visited, and texted, and I was just supposed to accept that. And I did, because I trusted you.”
“Kurt,” Blaine says distressed, because shit, he’s pretty sure he messed up a lot bigger than he originally thought.
“No Blaine, I trusted you when you said it was just texts and talks. I didn’t attack you when you leaked our set list to him. I believed you every time you said that is was friendly, I didn’t confront you about how awful some of his texts made me feel. You let him insult me, and did nothing. So I’m sorry, I should have told you about Chandler, but you did the exact same thing with Sebastian. I never called you out in front of everyone, not like you did to me. I never shut you out.”
“I can’t take that back.” Blaine says finally, head spinning a little. “I can’t take it back at all, I’m sorry. I was just trying to express my feelings and maybe I overacted, I don’t know, but what I do know, without any uncertainty is that I love you!”
“I don’t doubt it.” Kurt says gently and Blaine has a sinking feeling in his stomach. “I’m sorry if me talking about NYADA bothered you, I’m sorry if you thought you were going to lose me, and I’m sorry about the texts, but I can’t change any of that.”
“So what does this mean for us? I mean, there is still an us isn’t there? I wasn’t actually breaking up with you, I made a poor song choice, and I can see how you and everyone else thought I was, but I wasn’t breaking up with you. At least, I wasn’t doing it on purpose.”
“I don’t know Blaine; we seem to hurt each other a lot.”
“We can work on it. I don’t want to lose you Kurt, this is the last time we’ll be together before you go to school, and I have all the faith in the world you will get into NYADA. Can’t we spend it together?” Blaine says earnestly, and Kurt hesitates for a second.
“I love you Blaine, and I’m sorry that you were hurt.” Is what he says, and Blaine thinks if he really tallies it up, he’s probably hurt Kurt just as frequently, and just as badly, maybe even worse.
“I love you too, that’s why I wasn’t breaking up with you. I wouldn’t break up with you Kurt, especially not like that.” He reaches out for Kurt, and when Kurt doesn’t pull away when Blaine’s hand comes into contact with his arm, Blaine takes that as an invite to fold his arms around him.
“I deleted Chandler from my phone.” Kurt’s voice is muffled, but Blaine hears it none the less.
“You didn’t have to do all that.” Blaine replies, but secretly he’s glad. Even though he never deleted Sebastian from his phone, even after he nearly blinded him, he just blocked his number.
“Obviously I did if you got that upset about it.” And that makes Blaine feel guilty again, but he squashes down on the feeling. “I’m sorry I upset you, I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know you didn’t, I meant to hurt you though, and I’m so sorry.” Blaine admits and Kurt stiffens slightly. “I wanted you to hurt like I was hurting, and I should be a bigger person than that. If anyone should be breaking up with anyone, you should probably be breaking up with me for that.”
“We have to stop hurting each other Blaine, if we’re going to make this work; we have got to stop hurting each other.” Blaine tightens his arms around Kurt, because they would make it work. There was still an us, even if Kurt hadn’t flat out said it.
“We will.” Blaine assures him, because he isn’t sure what else to say. When Kurt finally loosens his stiff posture in his hold a little, Blaine smiles, and that smile widens, when Kurt hugs him back. “Call off your guard dogs?”
“I’m sure I can get Finn and Sam to back off if I talk enough, but Mercedes…she might mess you up just as a warning.”
“Can you at least ask her not to break my face? I kind of like it all not broken.”
“Yeah, I kind of like your face not broken too.” Kurt agrees, and pulls out of Blaine’s arms. He stares at him for a moment, searches his face, but he seems to find what he was looking for. “I make no promises, but I’ll see what I can do.”
And then Kurt smiled, that hesitant slightly self-conscious smile that Blaine only saw every once in a while, the one that he knew very few people ever got to see, and when he held out his hand, Kurt reached out for it, and Blaine knew they were going to be ok.
If Mercedes didn’t break his face, that is.