my hart was set on you like cement and it wont remold into anything (anyone) else
i havent been on in so long but being as i have no one to talk to anymore, i think i start writing in here now and let everyone know how much my life really sucks. were to start... well, i just lost the one and only person that ment way more then everything to me, and things really arnt looking like it will get any better either. it seems like the more days that go by, the more i seem to drive her away or shes just going away. i dont know yet. my friends are either really lame and dull or they just wanna sit around and get fucked up all the time. dont get me wrong, its fun sometimes, but im just not feeling it every day. in fact, im really not feeling it ever anymore. theres gotta be something better to do then just get fucked up and go to sleep everyday. of corse it would be really easy for me to start doing that right now because i really have nothing worth living for anymore. and least not right now. im not gonna kill myself or anything like that cuz that would be stupid. no, instead im gonna just sit around and be miserable and try really hard not to think about this shit even though i know im gonna and its just gonna make me wanna cry all the time. thats my only option right now so i guess ill just have to get through it. after all this goes down though i know that im not gonna love or even care about people anymore. its just not worth it you know? i cant just keep giving everything i have to one person just to have it all come back and bit me in the ass. if you ever hand your hart to someone, the moment that they hand it back to you is the moment you see it turn to ash in your hands. it feels like it will never go away and i know it wont. other then that though, i just got a job i know im gonna hate. not only because ill be working with a lot of jock assholes but also because there will be nothing but couples and happy people and thats really gonna piss me off. ill never be happy again and i hate it. i know no one wants to hear me talk about how much my life sucks right now so ill stop. it probably just sounds like im feeling sorry for myself anyways so whatever. ill try to make the next entree about something else