(no subject)
i hardly ever write my feelings down anymore and to be honest i know the reason why or at least i believe i do
the other day i sent off my cv to a load of recruitment agencies so i could trick them into getting me a job for free and once i have a job and i get reaccepted into college i will have practically everything i want at this point in my life
education money and laura
but i cant help still feeling bad about things, for quite a while now the person who i have thought of as my best friend has changed and im worried for him i mean all his words and actions have changed towards me and although to the majority of people this has been unnotised ( admittidly there have been very few people to witness both before AND after) and it makes me sad i feel he has lost all respect for me and if not then why doesnt he relise that when he mocks me or when he laughs or even when he doesnt listen t one of my ideas (all things he used to do) it bloody hurts it leaves me lost and confused and it makes me think what the hell am i supposed to do to stop myself get so worked up over it or better yet to act how he used to
the thing that hits me worst is the fact that i have no idea what to do if he stops our friendship or if infact he leads me to after all with no money in my current situation i have no place apart from home and a few other friends who are also good friends with him it eaves me stuck with no options
any help offered will be greatly appritiated same with offers to come to kesgrave and hang with me
i need to meet a few more kesgrave peeps but that is beyond my social experiance i have so far only made friends through mutual aquantances i dont have the spirit to go out somewhere new and speak to new people on my own hell id be terrified of them beating me up as a first and id probbably annoy them accidentally as seams to be a comman problem accosiated with the conversations i have with others
anyway rant over its longer than i wanted so peace to all and have a good day
p.s. im going to spain on tuesday
the other day i sent off my cv to a load of recruitment agencies so i could trick them into getting me a job for free and once i have a job and i get reaccepted into college i will have practically everything i want at this point in my life
education money and laura
but i cant help still feeling bad about things, for quite a while now the person who i have thought of as my best friend has changed and im worried for him i mean all his words and actions have changed towards me and although to the majority of people this has been unnotised ( admittidly there have been very few people to witness both before AND after) and it makes me sad i feel he has lost all respect for me and if not then why doesnt he relise that when he mocks me or when he laughs or even when he doesnt listen t one of my ideas (all things he used to do) it bloody hurts it leaves me lost and confused and it makes me think what the hell am i supposed to do to stop myself get so worked up over it or better yet to act how he used to
the thing that hits me worst is the fact that i have no idea what to do if he stops our friendship or if infact he leads me to after all with no money in my current situation i have no place apart from home and a few other friends who are also good friends with him it eaves me stuck with no options
any help offered will be greatly appritiated same with offers to come to kesgrave and hang with me
i need to meet a few more kesgrave peeps but that is beyond my social experiance i have so far only made friends through mutual aquantances i dont have the spirit to go out somewhere new and speak to new people on my own hell id be terrified of them beating me up as a first and id probbably annoy them accidentally as seams to be a comman problem accosiated with the conversations i have with others
anyway rant over its longer than i wanted so peace to all and have a good day
p.s. im going to spain on tuesday