Moody, it has been years.
It been so long since I have used this journal but it the only place I dump all my negative down bullshit and know full well not many read it.
I'm not sure if it is because of the fire, loosing so much of my things, having my wive being shot up, Loosing a friend/roommate, all of the above or none at all, but I'm so tired of doing anything. For the first few months I worked hard to just get into the state we are in, which is better than before, but I have run completely out of steam. I'm tired and done with doing anything. I still have so much to do and all I want to do is escape from it all. My wife asks me why and I'm unable to answer. This also make me wonder do I even have a reason to feel this way. Friends say to have a day all to myself but I know full well I would need more than a day, have really felt like myself since I can't remember (I have a short remembrance span). I feel sick one moment and then it is gone the next, motivated and then drained, happy and then down. Maybe I'm getting old.
I'm not sure if it is because of the fire, loosing so much of my things, having my wive being shot up, Loosing a friend/roommate, all of the above or none at all, but I'm so tired of doing anything. For the first few months I worked hard to just get into the state we are in, which is better than before, but I have run completely out of steam. I'm tired and done with doing anything. I still have so much to do and all I want to do is escape from it all. My wife asks me why and I'm unable to answer. This also make me wonder do I even have a reason to feel this way. Friends say to have a day all to myself but I know full well I would need more than a day, have really felt like myself since I can't remember (I have a short remembrance span). I feel sick one moment and then it is gone the next, motivated and then drained, happy and then down. Maybe I'm getting old.