Dear [insert name of robbing bastards here]...
...I am writing to you (you being United Utilities and npower gas and electric) to tell you that if you want your money, you can fucking well sing for it, you robbing bastards. The explanation for this rant commences forthwith:
United Utilities: I find it difficult to believe that it costs £323 a year to provide me with foul-tasting, lime-scaled water, bung up all of my machinery, and then take it away again after I've fucking filtered it for you!
npower: I think that choosing to get my gas and electric from your company was one of the biggest mistakes I have made to date. £400 in debt in 6 months, after paying you YOUR reccommended bill of £89p/m? One of us is a victim of daylight robbery here, and I'm pretty fucking sure it isn't you.
And just because it's your fault, too:
Dear Housemates,
You will fucking learn to turn off light switches, plug sockets and all other manner of electrical appliances when they are not in use...you will learn, if it kills me teaching you! And you will also learn not to complain when I say, "We're £400 in debt, when you move out in May, I will divide what remains of that debt by the number of housemantes, and you will pay your share", because that is the only reasonable way of paying off money you owe. If you want to run 3 fucking computers/laptops/servers for 24 hours a damned day, then you WILL LEARN TO PAY FOR IT!
How can you not possible concieve of the idea that, if you run lots of appliances - more than have ever been used in this house before - you will make that little dial spin like all hell, and that it will cost you money? For someone who is meant to be smart, you sure as hell have no common sense...you will get the biggest shock of your life when you move in to your own place in May, I guarantee it.
Right.
I think that's about it for now. FFS, can this day just get any better?
Probably.
[Oh, and I sincerely apologose for the amount of cursing here, but...well, you can see why, and you know me! :P]
United Utilities: I find it difficult to believe that it costs £323 a year to provide me with foul-tasting, lime-scaled water, bung up all of my machinery, and then take it away again after I've fucking filtered it for you!
npower: I think that choosing to get my gas and electric from your company was one of the biggest mistakes I have made to date. £400 in debt in 6 months, after paying you YOUR reccommended bill of £89p/m? One of us is a victim of daylight robbery here, and I'm pretty fucking sure it isn't you.
And just because it's your fault, too:
Dear Housemates,
You will fucking learn to turn off light switches, plug sockets and all other manner of electrical appliances when they are not in use...you will learn, if it kills me teaching you! And you will also learn not to complain when I say, "We're £400 in debt, when you move out in May, I will divide what remains of that debt by the number of housemantes, and you will pay your share", because that is the only reasonable way of paying off money you owe. If you want to run 3 fucking computers/laptops/servers for 24 hours a damned day, then you WILL LEARN TO PAY FOR IT!
How can you not possible concieve of the idea that, if you run lots of appliances - more than have ever been used in this house before - you will make that little dial spin like all hell, and that it will cost you money? For someone who is meant to be smart, you sure as hell have no common sense...you will get the biggest shock of your life when you move in to your own place in May, I guarantee it.
Right.
I think that's about it for now. FFS, can this day just get any better?
Probably.
[Oh, and I sincerely apologose for the amount of cursing here, but...well, you can see why, and you know me! :P]