today, today...
oh, today has been grand! all the shit in the storm of my life smells like roses--ok, it still sucks big time but a good book and good artwork make my little life a lot more pleasant. it is so much easier to be content with my own life when i'm learning. all this just reaffirms my goal to be an artist. if i'm not creating something once a week not matter how mundane the subject i simply cannot be content with life. this affrimation just makes it even clearer that i simply can't go on without a career in some sort of art field. as i get older it gets harder and harder to tolarate doing a job that i am not passionate about. that i derive only a minor sense of rapidly fading accomplishment and no enjoyment from let alone any intellectual stimuli. sometimes the facade of enjoying your job makes the day pleasant enough but in the end what has it done to you? made you stronger phsycologically to put on a better face despite you inner feelings but then again i feel it has made you drasticly weaker emtionally. to lie to youself and others so consititantly obtaining no spirtual/intelectual joy from your job.
i suddenly become acutely aware of my parents and so many others who have jobs they attend everyday that provide not real sense of accomplishment or satisfaction. i feel a whole new understanding on this, but one would wonder--nay, hope, that these people go home and find those two human nessicities of accomplishment and satistfaction with a good book or their family. then in there lies the question of how many actually get that. i know while my father may not have the career of his choice he has had the oppertunity to and taken advantage of education through his job. i also know he feel like he provides for us a great deal. if that is enough i think he is happy to see me pursuing my own dreams and goals. you always know that your parents sacrifice a lot to make you happy and that doesn't make your feelings invalid when they piss you off or visa versa. however, when was the last time you thanked you're parents with a sincerity that expresses how much you treasure what they have given you?
i guess i was just thinking that i have a chance to be an artist that my mother hadn't. i'll edit this later, it's late now.
i suddenly become acutely aware of my parents and so many others who have jobs they attend everyday that provide not real sense of accomplishment or satisfaction. i feel a whole new understanding on this, but one would wonder--nay, hope, that these people go home and find those two human nessicities of accomplishment and satistfaction with a good book or their family. then in there lies the question of how many actually get that. i know while my father may not have the career of his choice he has had the oppertunity to and taken advantage of education through his job. i also know he feel like he provides for us a great deal. if that is enough i think he is happy to see me pursuing my own dreams and goals. you always know that your parents sacrifice a lot to make you happy and that doesn't make your feelings invalid when they piss you off or visa versa. however, when was the last time you thanked you're parents with a sincerity that expresses how much you treasure what they have given you?
i guess i was just thinking that i have a chance to be an artist that my mother hadn't. i'll edit this later, it's late now.