Oh the rage!
i fucking hate community property. whenever stephie ate or loaned something of mine she asked or told me about it later...or fucking made up for it! i hate people thinking they have a right to my pre-paired meals just 'cuz they're in the fridge. i bought those groceries, with my money. which is dwindling, along with my time. i want to clean this cesspool i live in but i don't have the time and energy to do it. AND i mean like the show clean house. i know the house isn't dirty but damnit it could be cleaner and more organized. then again my mom just did a pretty wonderful job of cleaning. some things are still pack ratty. my room is still a goddamn mother fucking mess. everytime i manage to sort through one box of shit i have to reorganized a whole dresser, or desk, or closet full of other shit. not to mention everything i left behind for the past year in the way of material possesions is stuck in my old room that my brother just fucking commendered with all the furnature i payed for. matt's old bed i sleep on squeaks and hurts my back and i hate the rooms nasty green colors and matt's green and wood furnature in the room. i've gained back 7 bls and bob is pissing me off.
have i mentioned that i just have been doing nothing but paying bills lately? first it was tution-250. next it was art supplies-100. then it was credit cards-150. next its was test fees for matt-20. now it was gas-40. then is was gorceries-50. next is was loan me 20 dad. then is was overdraft fees-108. oonce again it was art supplies-132. soon i'll have to pay credit card bills again along with gas and a 200 dollar book loan in november. AND my hours keep getting cut at work! my contacts are bothering me. my back hurts and i'm still tired. i am getting headaches everyday but that's nothing compared to my now weekly migrains. personally i'm fustrated and tired but thank goodness i refuse to let that stop me for more than a breather. i've been trying to draw but i still can't find one of my most important sketch books. i mean it seemed like i couldn't get ahead before but damn right now it does not look any better. in fact, it worse. my eyes are starting to hurt and sware i am alergic to my house. i'm seriously worried that with so little hours i won't be able to pay back my loan on top of my other bills.
my only real solace in al this is that i am getting over my fear of color and i am going to school. i do get to see more of my friends which means a lot after missing them the past year. my room is a lot cleaner now but still not my room. it still have plans to fix and upgrade my compy, buy an all-in-one printer/scanner device, not to mention all the other little things i want...oh-well that's all i can vomit out right now so fuck you world i'm a gonna tap a long nap.
have i mentioned that i just have been doing nothing but paying bills lately? first it was tution-250. next it was art supplies-100. then it was credit cards-150. next its was test fees for matt-20. now it was gas-40. then is was gorceries-50. next is was loan me 20 dad. then is was overdraft fees-108. oonce again it was art supplies-132. soon i'll have to pay credit card bills again along with gas and a 200 dollar book loan in november. AND my hours keep getting cut at work! my contacts are bothering me. my back hurts and i'm still tired. i am getting headaches everyday but that's nothing compared to my now weekly migrains. personally i'm fustrated and tired but thank goodness i refuse to let that stop me for more than a breather. i've been trying to draw but i still can't find one of my most important sketch books. i mean it seemed like i couldn't get ahead before but damn right now it does not look any better. in fact, it worse. my eyes are starting to hurt and sware i am alergic to my house. i'm seriously worried that with so little hours i won't be able to pay back my loan on top of my other bills.
my only real solace in al this is that i am getting over my fear of color and i am going to school. i do get to see more of my friends which means a lot after missing them the past year. my room is a lot cleaner now but still not my room. it still have plans to fix and upgrade my compy, buy an all-in-one printer/scanner device, not to mention all the other little things i want...oh-well that's all i can vomit out right now so fuck you world i'm a gonna tap a long nap.