A bad time
Well, this time of unemployment has hit me a LOT harder than I expected.
I have not accomplished anything that I wanted to in the month+ since I was unemployed.
I had great aspirations to keep myself occupied, my skills honed and not to get into a depressive slump through a constructed daily schedule.
Unfortunately, I could not even accomplish the most simple tasks I had given myself. Nevermind the "draw one drawing a day", or "Work out a few times a week." No.. I couldn't even clean my room, or one room of the house. I can't get up before Noon or go to bed before Midnight.
And, now with the nearing deadline of my "lay-off' ending, and unemployment potentially running out, I feel worse and worse about myself when in fact I should be working even harder to succeed! I'm worrying about Gen Con (I need a week off, as I've already promised that I would volunteer again) and whatnot.
Part of me wants to go back to Ver Duin's Inc., and work for the $11/hour I was making before, even if it is less than 30 hours a week.
But I know there are people who do about the same stuff for $35/hour or whatnot nearby and for some reason even making $15/hour for 40 hours a week boggles my mind. I have such low expectations for myself. *sighs*
My mom is 65, has diabetes and at some point, she'll be gone and I won't be depending on what she has for security--even though I hate the fact that I do that as it is. I hate that I could only afford $300/month rent and now am reduced to $150 or whatever we agree upon and that if it wasn't for my mom, I wouldn't have a home as I know it. But now I'm unemployed and... *sighs* I just need to find some way of convincing/motivating myself to just do something and become successful at ANYTHING because, right now, I'm just a single 31 year old unemployed guy who lives in his mother's basement.
I have not accomplished anything that I wanted to in the month+ since I was unemployed.
I had great aspirations to keep myself occupied, my skills honed and not to get into a depressive slump through a constructed daily schedule.
Unfortunately, I could not even accomplish the most simple tasks I had given myself. Nevermind the "draw one drawing a day", or "Work out a few times a week." No.. I couldn't even clean my room, or one room of the house. I can't get up before Noon or go to bed before Midnight.
And, now with the nearing deadline of my "lay-off' ending, and unemployment potentially running out, I feel worse and worse about myself when in fact I should be working even harder to succeed! I'm worrying about Gen Con (I need a week off, as I've already promised that I would volunteer again) and whatnot.
Part of me wants to go back to Ver Duin's Inc., and work for the $11/hour I was making before, even if it is less than 30 hours a week.
But I know there are people who do about the same stuff for $35/hour or whatnot nearby and for some reason even making $15/hour for 40 hours a week boggles my mind. I have such low expectations for myself. *sighs*
My mom is 65, has diabetes and at some point, she'll be gone and I won't be depending on what she has for security--even though I hate the fact that I do that as it is. I hate that I could only afford $300/month rent and now am reduced to $150 or whatever we agree upon and that if it wasn't for my mom, I wouldn't have a home as I know it. But now I'm unemployed and... *sighs* I just need to find some way of convincing/motivating myself to just do something and become successful at ANYTHING because, right now, I'm just a single 31 year old unemployed guy who lives in his mother's basement.