They Were Here First
don't look in the mirror
because you'll see what you know you are
don't look in their eyes
because they'll see that you know you're weak
don't look at the blind
because they'll hear your faint breathing
your pulseless hesitancy
if you run forever
your blood will start to drip like oil
off the walls and the streets
and you'll be carried out forever
wherever you go they'll see
they'll see you're weak
you want to run to your hope
when you just cast it out
shamed your name, your face
go back hide
immerse
submerge
convulse and tear
until you've run out of options and you look them up and down
look them out and in
and tell them 'I cant'
tell them you won't
tell them it was never real
never fake
be illusive until you run into your own wall
then turn and see their eyes staring and seeing your weakness
seeing you weak will make you bleed
so you try and break down the wall
only you're too weak for that
so you break down yourself
with your fists and your razors and your torture
you say to yourself, 'I just need help'
but asking for it requires strength
the strength you don't have
so you figure you'll get past that wall somehow
start by floating away
piece by piece leaving the earth
floating over the wall
up into the sky
up into their mouths
they eat up your every word
and spit back out their humor
you just want to love
you just want to heal
healing is unattainable though
we never heal
or fix
we patch
leaving the holes open just covered
leaving the world bit by bit
you just want to hold one more leaf
one more winter
hold one more cascade of rain
one more before you go up
up and up
so you can reach in vain
just as you did before
only they will no longer see your eyes
just the weak mark you left on the wall in red
the one you left on the beam with a crack
the one you left on the bath with the grime
one day they'll forgive you for being weak
one day they'll see that it was only a matter of time
they'll rush through their walls of sand and be on the other side
and you'll look in their eyes
and see the nothing you were too weak too see before
to weak to see there was nothing all along
because you'll see what you know you are
don't look in their eyes
because they'll see that you know you're weak
don't look at the blind
because they'll hear your faint breathing
your pulseless hesitancy
if you run forever
your blood will start to drip like oil
off the walls and the streets
and you'll be carried out forever
wherever you go they'll see
they'll see you're weak
you want to run to your hope
when you just cast it out
shamed your name, your face
go back hide
immerse
submerge
convulse and tear
until you've run out of options and you look them up and down
look them out and in
and tell them 'I cant'
tell them you won't
tell them it was never real
never fake
be illusive until you run into your own wall
then turn and see their eyes staring and seeing your weakness
seeing you weak will make you bleed
so you try and break down the wall
only you're too weak for that
so you break down yourself
with your fists and your razors and your torture
you say to yourself, 'I just need help'
but asking for it requires strength
the strength you don't have
so you figure you'll get past that wall somehow
start by floating away
piece by piece leaving the earth
floating over the wall
up into the sky
up into their mouths
they eat up your every word
and spit back out their humor
you just want to love
you just want to heal
healing is unattainable though
we never heal
or fix
we patch
leaving the holes open just covered
leaving the world bit by bit
you just want to hold one more leaf
one more winter
hold one more cascade of rain
one more before you go up
up and up
so you can reach in vain
just as you did before
only they will no longer see your eyes
just the weak mark you left on the wall in red
the one you left on the beam with a crack
the one you left on the bath with the grime
one day they'll forgive you for being weak
one day they'll see that it was only a matter of time
they'll rush through their walls of sand and be on the other side
and you'll look in their eyes
and see the nothing you were too weak too see before
to weak to see there was nothing all along