Rough Draft of My Essay for College Admissions (as made mandatory by my English teacher)
Essay Draft
I have lived only two places in my entire life, both of which are about a block away from each other. Until about a year ago I lived with the same two people my entire life as well. These people were my sister and mother, an interesting dynamic. This was changed although when last year my sister went off to college. She went off to study theater at UCLA. Which was natural, as she has been doing it since she was little. My parents were both actors, that’s how they met, and the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. Since then, they’ve gone off in different directions career wise, my mother now a television writer/producer, my father a musician. And here I suppose is where I tie it all in, saying how these unconventional backgrounds tie in to who I am, what I want to be, and where I want to go. Which I guess they do tie in and influence me I suppose. Well either way, they have to. That’s what this essay’s about isn’t it? How that, my community and my school influenced me. Well, then here’s my thesis. From my parent’s creative careers, my unconventional school, and my conventional community have shaped what I want to be, which is a ___________.
Let’s start with family. A short history: my parents met at acting school. My dad did some outside acting, my mom didn’t. They got married, had my sister, worked, split up. Had me, and then split up again for disclosed reasons. So, since then I lived with my sister and mother. My mom got into the entertainment business while my sister pursued acting in school. I sort of just did whatever my sister did, because I was decent at acting at the time, and didn’t know what else to do. And it remained this way for some time, my dad away being a musician/carpenter, while we functioned in SoCal with me acting. Last year, when my sister became more serious about acting, I became even less so. I dropped out of the Drama Academy at school, and went into media. Well, more about school later. Either way, my mom in the entertainment business, with my serious actress sister, and musician father are all very creative things. Being surrounded by all this creative in the field of the arts made me realize and nurtured my desire for what I want to be, which is a ___________. Having my family pursue these things and actually succeed and do them, made me see that I can achieve what I want. With determination and passion, I can follow suit and get what I want, and become a ____________, and may even have the right connections to get a good start.
Now, school, yes? Well, I went to a fairly average elementary school, actually less than good, (insufficient funding, facilities, etc.) which was right around where I lived. However for middle school, I upgraded. I went to the nice magnet school, which was also near where I lived. However, this school was nice, with s good program in the arts. So I did that naturally, as we already discussed, because that’s what my sister did in middle school. And this went on fine all throughout middle school. I graduated, then was unsure where to go for high school. The prestigious performing arts high school my sister went to in downtown that was admission via audition only, was an option. As was a charter school nearby. I auditioned for my sister’s school after much pressure form my family, and did not get in. this was the first step I believe in shaping my realization to what I want to be. This was the first thing that really showed me that I wasn’t meant to be an actress like my sister. Either way, I went to the local performing arts charter school, which was notorious for letting anybody into their theater program. So, I did that for two years and got a lot of training in not only theater, but also music theory, dance, tap dancing, theater history, and vocal training. Around the middle of sophomore year however, when focus and work became more intense, I fully came to my senses that if I was truly passionate about what I was doing, it wouldn’t seem like such a pain to me. So, needless to say I left the Drama Academy. From there I switched into the New Media Academy, which has opened many doors for me. I had always had a fondness for computers, so this academy really caught my interest. Since then I learned many things about film production, web design, and elements of photography, all of which are beneficial to being a ____________. Not to say that I didn’t learn anything in the Drama Academy, because I did. I learned a lot about who I was as a person and what I really wanted, or more what I really didn’t want.
Now on to how my community influenced me. Well, this one is tough. You see, the only way I can think that it has influenced me is in the way that it has showed me what I don’t want. Where I live, it isn’t so nice. I mean, it’s not horrible, there are supposedly a few gangs in the area and I have myself have seen all too many suspicious characters lurking around in parks and such. So, in that way my community has shown me that where I live it is easy to get involved in bad tings and not go really anywhere in life. I see this everyday, from every lower class family that lives in the bad apartments in the inner San Fernando Valley that tries to make ends meet, I see that they may or may not have had a choice to have that life. But I know that their future does not have to be mine. My community shows me the struggling people, and from it I can take away the fear of that life and the desire to never be like that. To make something for myself, out of fear that I may wait too long and then be trapped. However whether or not this fear of economic failure is enough to push me into having the drive and determination to actually go through with this is debatable. It does make me see that I want to go places outside of Los Angeles, to maybe New York or London. But in the end, no matter where I go, I know that I have to go, go somewhere and do something, anything at all so I don’t get stuck like the people I live around.
So, that’s it. I made my arguments, gave examples, explanations, etcetera. What I said was the truth, mostly, with perhaps some feigned enthusiasm. But the facts are all true. My family is artistic and creative and does show me all the things I can do. Following my sister’s steps into high school and my school’s intense drama program did force me into coming to terms with the fact that I could never be an actress. My community does install some fear in me of the sad failure of people who made bad choices and didn’t go anywhere, whether or not that fear really affects me or not. Some teachers say not to repeat your body paragraphs, but that’s what I was taught in fifth grade, and I’m sticking to it. I’m realizing now that this essay is well over the maximum 750 words. But it’s just a draft anyways. So, the prompt asked me to explain the world I come from and how it’s influenced my dreams and aspirations. Well, that’s my world, and that’s how it’s influenced my dreams and aspirations to be a _________.
I have lived only two places in my entire life, both of which are about a block away from each other. Until about a year ago I lived with the same two people my entire life as well. These people were my sister and mother, an interesting dynamic. This was changed although when last year my sister went off to college. She went off to study theater at UCLA. Which was natural, as she has been doing it since she was little. My parents were both actors, that’s how they met, and the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. Since then, they’ve gone off in different directions career wise, my mother now a television writer/producer, my father a musician. And here I suppose is where I tie it all in, saying how these unconventional backgrounds tie in to who I am, what I want to be, and where I want to go. Which I guess they do tie in and influence me I suppose. Well either way, they have to. That’s what this essay’s about isn’t it? How that, my community and my school influenced me. Well, then here’s my thesis. From my parent’s creative careers, my unconventional school, and my conventional community have shaped what I want to be, which is a ___________.
Let’s start with family. A short history: my parents met at acting school. My dad did some outside acting, my mom didn’t. They got married, had my sister, worked, split up. Had me, and then split up again for disclosed reasons. So, since then I lived with my sister and mother. My mom got into the entertainment business while my sister pursued acting in school. I sort of just did whatever my sister did, because I was decent at acting at the time, and didn’t know what else to do. And it remained this way for some time, my dad away being a musician/carpenter, while we functioned in SoCal with me acting. Last year, when my sister became more serious about acting, I became even less so. I dropped out of the Drama Academy at school, and went into media. Well, more about school later. Either way, my mom in the entertainment business, with my serious actress sister, and musician father are all very creative things. Being surrounded by all this creative in the field of the arts made me realize and nurtured my desire for what I want to be, which is a ___________. Having my family pursue these things and actually succeed and do them, made me see that I can achieve what I want. With determination and passion, I can follow suit and get what I want, and become a ____________, and may even have the right connections to get a good start.
Now, school, yes? Well, I went to a fairly average elementary school, actually less than good, (insufficient funding, facilities, etc.) which was right around where I lived. However for middle school, I upgraded. I went to the nice magnet school, which was also near where I lived. However, this school was nice, with s good program in the arts. So I did that naturally, as we already discussed, because that’s what my sister did in middle school. And this went on fine all throughout middle school. I graduated, then was unsure where to go for high school. The prestigious performing arts high school my sister went to in downtown that was admission via audition only, was an option. As was a charter school nearby. I auditioned for my sister’s school after much pressure form my family, and did not get in. this was the first step I believe in shaping my realization to what I want to be. This was the first thing that really showed me that I wasn’t meant to be an actress like my sister. Either way, I went to the local performing arts charter school, which was notorious for letting anybody into their theater program. So, I did that for two years and got a lot of training in not only theater, but also music theory, dance, tap dancing, theater history, and vocal training. Around the middle of sophomore year however, when focus and work became more intense, I fully came to my senses that if I was truly passionate about what I was doing, it wouldn’t seem like such a pain to me. So, needless to say I left the Drama Academy. From there I switched into the New Media Academy, which has opened many doors for me. I had always had a fondness for computers, so this academy really caught my interest. Since then I learned many things about film production, web design, and elements of photography, all of which are beneficial to being a ____________. Not to say that I didn’t learn anything in the Drama Academy, because I did. I learned a lot about who I was as a person and what I really wanted, or more what I really didn’t want.
Now on to how my community influenced me. Well, this one is tough. You see, the only way I can think that it has influenced me is in the way that it has showed me what I don’t want. Where I live, it isn’t so nice. I mean, it’s not horrible, there are supposedly a few gangs in the area and I have myself have seen all too many suspicious characters lurking around in parks and such. So, in that way my community has shown me that where I live it is easy to get involved in bad tings and not go really anywhere in life. I see this everyday, from every lower class family that lives in the bad apartments in the inner San Fernando Valley that tries to make ends meet, I see that they may or may not have had a choice to have that life. But I know that their future does not have to be mine. My community shows me the struggling people, and from it I can take away the fear of that life and the desire to never be like that. To make something for myself, out of fear that I may wait too long and then be trapped. However whether or not this fear of economic failure is enough to push me into having the drive and determination to actually go through with this is debatable. It does make me see that I want to go places outside of Los Angeles, to maybe New York or London. But in the end, no matter where I go, I know that I have to go, go somewhere and do something, anything at all so I don’t get stuck like the people I live around.
So, that’s it. I made my arguments, gave examples, explanations, etcetera. What I said was the truth, mostly, with perhaps some feigned enthusiasm. But the facts are all true. My family is artistic and creative and does show me all the things I can do. Following my sister’s steps into high school and my school’s intense drama program did force me into coming to terms with the fact that I could never be an actress. My community does install some fear in me of the sad failure of people who made bad choices and didn’t go anywhere, whether or not that fear really affects me or not. Some teachers say not to repeat your body paragraphs, but that’s what I was taught in fifth grade, and I’m sticking to it. I’m realizing now that this essay is well over the maximum 750 words. But it’s just a draft anyways. So, the prompt asked me to explain the world I come from and how it’s influenced my dreams and aspirations. Well, that’s my world, and that’s how it’s influenced my dreams and aspirations to be a _________.