Readers of my journal: Please read EVERY word; DO NOT SKIM. It's written like this for a reason.
You know, I am just gonna be totally honest here, even though it may result in a barage of commments or replies, telling me to do the same things that I have been told to do for the last couple weeks now. Don't be afraid to reply and such...I'm just venting when i say that.
Anywhoo......for the past few weeks, the idea here has been to give Amanda all the space she needs because she is in school. Fair enough, right? I think so too. The only thing that gets me a little is that I don't know how much she needs, and when and what and...everything else, so therefore i am not exactly sure of how to go about it yet. We agreed that at some point in the future we would both take a look at our schedules, and see what times matched up, and see if we could spend some time together. That sounds fine too. I agreed to this. She says it IS important to her to spend time with me or else she wouldn't be trying this hard. And i believe that, and appreciate it so much. Because a person doesn't MAKE time for you if they don't want to spend time with you.
I have asked the key people involved in this whole thing to just be extra patient with me, because this is something very different very quickly, that I am just trying to get used to, and roll with the punches. But remember, for all us newcomers to the life of Amanda Jones and friends, especialy me...this is a humongous difference from the girl i met over the summer, and grew to love over the last few months. That's fine, but it is going to take me some extra time, because of the big difference. And I hope nobody is still thinking that I am not willing to do this. I am. And I always have been... this is still far too worth-it to me to just give up now.
I just hope everyone's patience doesn't run out too soon, even if i am progressing well. Amanda, and friends: right now what i need is your patience and confidence in me; I will be fine with all of this, but it IS going to take me a little time. But also, please realize that I am trying really hard to keep the process speedy, so that i don't run out of time. There's a few things I have to change in myself before I can completely do all of this....but those things are finally happening now.
I learned yesterday that sometimes you are not always to supposed to understand something or someone...just roll with it, and primarily, just accept it...and in this case, just accept HER, for who she is, and just love her for that. I do; i really do. That's why I miss her so much. But hopefully I will see her soon (as soon as she is ready) and we can work this out a little more. I want this worked out ASAP. Until then, wish me luck and alot of help.
Amanda, I love you. So take the time you need for YOU, and whatever else you need it for. Just don't forget I'm here, but I don't think you will. I'll be here. Take care. I miss you.
Anywhoo......for the past few weeks, the idea here has been to give Amanda all the space she needs because she is in school. Fair enough, right? I think so too. The only thing that gets me a little is that I don't know how much she needs, and when and what and...everything else, so therefore i am not exactly sure of how to go about it yet. We agreed that at some point in the future we would both take a look at our schedules, and see what times matched up, and see if we could spend some time together. That sounds fine too. I agreed to this. She says it IS important to her to spend time with me or else she wouldn't be trying this hard. And i believe that, and appreciate it so much. Because a person doesn't MAKE time for you if they don't want to spend time with you.
I have asked the key people involved in this whole thing to just be extra patient with me, because this is something very different very quickly, that I am just trying to get used to, and roll with the punches. But remember, for all us newcomers to the life of Amanda Jones and friends, especialy me...this is a humongous difference from the girl i met over the summer, and grew to love over the last few months. That's fine, but it is going to take me some extra time, because of the big difference. And I hope nobody is still thinking that I am not willing to do this. I am. And I always have been... this is still far too worth-it to me to just give up now.
I just hope everyone's patience doesn't run out too soon, even if i am progressing well. Amanda, and friends: right now what i need is your patience and confidence in me; I will be fine with all of this, but it IS going to take me a little time. But also, please realize that I am trying really hard to keep the process speedy, so that i don't run out of time. There's a few things I have to change in myself before I can completely do all of this....but those things are finally happening now.
I learned yesterday that sometimes you are not always to supposed to understand something or someone...just roll with it, and primarily, just accept it...and in this case, just accept HER, for who she is, and just love her for that. I do; i really do. That's why I miss her so much. But hopefully I will see her soon (as soon as she is ready) and we can work this out a little more. I want this worked out ASAP. Until then, wish me luck and alot of help.
Amanda, I love you. So take the time you need for YOU, and whatever else you need it for. Just don't forget I'm here, but I don't think you will. I'll be here. Take care. I miss you.