Clone High: Season 1 (2002 - 03)
The Main Cast
Will Forte .... Abe Lincoln
Phil Lord .... Principal Dr. Cinnamon J. Scudworth, Genghis Khan
Michael McDonald .... Gandhi
Nicole Sullivan .... Joan of Arc/Marie Curie
Christa Miller .... Cleopatra
Chris Miller .... JFK/Vice Principal Mr. Butlertron
Neil Flynn .... Carl/Julius Caesar/Gandhi's Foster Father/Buddy Holly/Ecybopooch/Moses/Glenn the Janitor/Snowflake Jake
Donald Faison .... George Washington Carver/Wally/X-Stream Bob/Toots/Martin Luther King, Jr./Jimi Hendrix/King Kwanzaa
Series created by Phil Lord, Chris Miller and Bill Lawrence
The Premise
Clone High has one of those theme songs that just describes the high-conceptness of the show so I figure I'll just use that. Enjoy.
"Way way back in the 1980s, secret government employess dug up famous guys and ladies and made amusing genetic copies. Now the clones are sexy teens now, they're gonna make it if they try." The core group of clones are Abe Lincoln, Gandhi, Joan of Arc, Cleopatra and JFK. If you've never watched an episode of this animated show, you might want to skip the Episode reviews and move right on down to The Breakdown.
Episode 1 Escape to Bear Mountain: A Rope of Sand Airdate: November 2, 2002
Guest Starring: Michael J. Fox as Gandhi's Remaining Kidney; Andy Dick as Mr. Sheepman, Vincent Van Gogh, the Police Officer
Synopsis: Summer's over and the students of Clone High return to their school, some of them with growth spurts but all of them with increased libidos.
Rating: This was my first introduction to Clone High and other than the main title theme, there is no backstory whatsoever provided for this wacky assortment of characters and events... if it weren't for Joan of Arc's unfortunately flat head, I'd totally be in love with her since she's got a crush on Abe and he's the typical sweet, sensitive guy like me... this show would've been better automatically if Andy Dick didn't guest star often... nice to see Michael J. Fox guest-voicing for Scrubs buddy Bill Lawrence... interesting enough premise for a show, but let's see if it develops into something worthwhile 3.5 / 5
Episode 2 Election Blu-Galoo Airdate: November 2, 2002
Guest Starring: Zach Braff as X-Stream Mike; Sarah Chalke as X-Stream Erin; Marilyn Manson as himself
Synopsis: It's the battle of two of history's greatest American Presidents when it comes to the School President Election: JFK's DNA vs. Abe Lincoln's DNA.
Rating: I didn't mention this in the previous ep, but there's some nice usage of Get Up Kids music throughout the show... Scrubs cast members continue to show Lawrence love, with Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke guesting in this ep, joining Donald Faison as faceless members of an extreme sports drink marketing team... Marilyn Manson singing an educational song about the Food Groups seems like weird for the sake of weird... decent enough, but nothing I haven't seen before 3 / 5
Episode 3 A.D.D.: The Last 'D' is for Disorder Airdate: November 10, 2002
Guest Starring: Zach Braff as Paul Revere; Andy Dick as Mr. Sheepman; Tom Green as himself
Synopsis: When it's revealed that Gandhi suffers from A.D.D., the rest of the student body shuns him forcing Abe to choose between his friend or his floozy.
Rating: the writers of this show have completely ignored history in that I don't think Gandhi would be able to hunger strike or whatever if he had A.D.D., he'd forget and start munching on potato chips or something... kudos to Tom Green for skewering himse.. oh wait, he does that all the time... nice little subplots with Joan of Arc finally hearing the voice of God and the Principal connecting with the students thanks to the "magical cardigan sweater" 4 / 5
Episode 4 Film Fest: Tears of a Clone Airdate: November 17, 2002
Guest Starring: Andy Dick as Mr. Sheepman, Thomas Edison, Vincent Van Gogh, Police Officer
Synopsis: After a riot breaks out following the Clone High Track Team's victory, Abe creates the Clone High Film Festival for some reason that is barely related.
Rating: the running theme of Joan wanting Abe is starting to remind me of the first season of Dawson's Creek (the only season that I've seen)... and then that reminder is compounded by the fact that Joan makes movies... so far, Gandhi is up there on my personal list of most annoying cartoon sidekick characters ever invented (I'm looking at you Scrappy-Doo and Peanut)... funniest moment of the series so far: after Joan's movie screens and the rest of the audience is bewildered, the clone of Sigmund Freud gets it easily 4.5 / 5
Episode 5 Sleep of Faith: La Rue D'Awakening Airdate: November 24, 2002
Guest Starring: John C. McGinley as Creepy Trucker; Judah Miller as Scangrade
Synopsis: The PJXTs (or something) are looming, but Abe can't study for the test because he's bowing to Cleo's every whim.
Rating: Nicole Sullivan's voice acting is simply perfect for the goth/emo girl Joan of Arc... a few dumb Family Guy-esque moments throughout the show... more Scrubs actors! as John C. McGinley shows up for a semi-dumb part as a ghost trucker... JFK gets more annoying by the ep 2.5 / 5
Episode 6 Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc Airdate: December 1, 2002
Guest Starring: Dan Patrick and Chris Berman as themselves
Synopsis: With the big basketball game approaching, Joan of Arc flimsily disguises herself as a boy to play on the Clone High team and be close to Abe.
Rating: more than a few disturbing images in this ep, most noteworthy the opposing team's genetically-manufactured mascot... for some weird reason the animated version of Joan of Arc reminds me of that icon of fornikate that someone drew of her... the plot is a complete ripoff of dozens of movies but that's pretty much the intended joke... the "JFK fearing he's gay because he's attracted to John Dark" subplot was sort of entertaining 3 / 5
Episode 7 Plane Crazy: Gate Expectations Airdate: December 8, 2002
Guest Starring: Ashley Parker Angel as himself; Debra Wilson as Reporter
Synopsis: When Cleo doesn't appear to be wearing Abe's letterman's jacket on Ashley Parker Angel's Spring Break Special, Abe decides the relationship is over.
Rating: right off the bat, I gotta say there wasn't enough Joan of Arc in this ep... JFK has officially become Luke from The O.C.'s second season, still a ladies man, dumb as a post, but one of the gang sorta... the additional plotlines of Gandhi becoming a rap star and Prof. Scudworth having a Warner Bros.-inspired cartoon style battle with a skunk were fairly moronic 2 / 5
Episode 8 A Room of One's Clone: The Pie of the Storm Airdate: January 12, 2003
Guest Starring: Sarah Chalke as Marie Antoinette; Andy Dick as Mr. Sheepman
Synopsis: After a storm ends up destroying Joan's house, she ends up living with Cleopatra and the tensions that have been building between the two come to a head.
Rating: there's a very nice Hypercolor t-shirt joke in this ep that will probably be lost on anyone that didn't go to school during the early 90s... the splitting the room horizontally gag was an entertaining joke, though it's never explained why Cleo has a bunk bed in her own room; maybe she's just that cool of a chick... JFK's second punching out of Gandhi is the stuff that LJ icons are made of 4 / 5
Episode 9 Raisin the Stakes: A Rock Opera in Three Acts Airdate: December 15, 2002
Guest Starring: Jack Black as Larry Hardcore, Pusher; Joe Flaherty as Abe's Foster Dad
Synopsis: After a motivational speaker comes to Clone High, almost all the students take his off-handed suggestion and start smoking raisins.
Rating: Jack Black nails his parts in this rock opera, though it kinda does take away from the "mystery" aspect of the show... I haven't mentioned it yet, but I'm a big fan of the Mr. Belvedere-looking Mr. Butlertron, especially his calling everyone by the name of "Wesley"... interesting ep, especially if you freeze frame at some of the subliminal messages hidden throughout... there's a lovely iconic image of Joan on a tree in this ep, perfectly captured 4.5 / 5
Episode 10 Litter Kills: Litterally Airdate: January 19, 2003
Guest Starring: Luke Perry as Ponce de León; Don Novello as Inmate; Murray Miller as Catherine the Great; Andy Dick as Police Officer; Judah Miller as Inmate
Synopsis: On this very special episode of Clone High, one of the clones will die as a result of littering.
Rating: despite the obviousness of the joke, I enjoyed the creation of a clone character just for the purpose of killing it... I'm not really sure what Ponce de León looked like, but he sure did look an awful lot like a combination of Luke Perry and James Dean... JFK was particularily dumb, traumatized and awesome in this ep... Ponce's death was certainly graphic and entertaining 3.5 / 5
Episode 11 Snowflake Day: A Very Special Holiday Episode Airdate: January 26, 2003
Guest Starring: Mandy Moore as Herself?; Judah Miller as Dreidelstein; Murray Miller as Catherine the Great
Synopsis: It's a very special time of year, when all the festive holidays have been combined into one mass merchandising entity: Snowflake Day.
Rating: not a very great ep, as there are far too many predictable gags and things that just run on for too many unfunny beats... even a homeless animated Mandy Moore is hot though... if this was the first ep of Clone High you ever watched, you'd think all the characters were idiots... the claymation bit with the Holiday Special was fairly well-done though 1.5 / 5
Episode 12 Makeover, Makeover, Makeover: The Makeover Episode Airdate: February 3, 2003
Guest Starring: Sarah Chalke as Marie Antoinette; Murray Miller as Catherine the Great; Debra Wilson as Harriet Tubman, Eva Peron
Synopsis: In part one of a two part season finale, the clones all get makeovers of some variety in order to get themselves dates for the Prom.
Rating: JFK making over Gandhi into GFK was a loving tribute to She's All That... the constant usage of Get Up Kids songs makes me bittersweetly happy... I'm convinced the creators of the show tried to make the characters get dumber throughout the entire season... Principal Scudworth's John Stamos phone call and subsequent sobbing rant may just be the highlight of this ep 3.5 / 5
Episode 13 Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale Airdate: February 10, 2003
Guest Starring: Andy Dick as Mr. Sheepman, Thomas Edison, Sexual Education Officer; Joe Flaherty as Abe's Foster Dad; Judah Miller as Scangarde; John Stamos as himself; Tommy Walter as himself
Synopsis: In the season finale, everything that has been building up between Joan of Arc and Abe Lincoln comes to a head. Oh, and there's a wacky Prom in a meat locker as well.
Rating: thankfully the previous eps John Stamos references led to a wonderfully charming performance by Stamos... and then his murder... nice to see Teen Wolf surfing on top of a limo in this ep; apparently he made a cameo appearance in every ep, along with some dolphin... it was a fairly crazy ep, somewhat predictable in a high school movie kind of way, but in an entertaining fashion... they kinda painted themselves into a corner with the climax of this ep, which may or may not be why Clone High has not returned yet 4 / 5
The Breakdown: "Teenage clones of famous historical figures" is certainly a marketable idea for an animated show, plus it saves time and money by already having most of the characters sketched out broadly. It could make for an interesting sociological experiment to see how pre-determined behavior is in human DNA but instead it just turned into a nonsensical gagfest that parodied high school movies and the like. It was effective and interesting to a point, but sometimes the jokes just don't score. More than likely it's because they're just hammered over your head or you can see them coming a mile away. The animation was distinctive and the vocal cast tremendously talented, particularily Nicole Sullivan as Joan of Arc. I recommend the show, though it may try your patience at times with creativity gone awry. 3.35 / 5