Angst!Fic 4/?
Previous Parts
1 2 3
Author: TopazAngel
Title: Everything Falls Apart 4/?
Rating: R (not in this chapter, but will be by the end)
Word count: 1948
Fandom: Angel
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Cordelia/Lindsey, Cordelia/Angel, (Angel/Darla, Lindsey/Darla Implied)
Spoilers: None
Timeline: Before ‘Offspring,’ after ‘Billy’
Teaser: As Cordelia’s visions worsen, Darla comes back with a surprise. Cordelia has no choice but to confide in an outsider who just happens back in town.
Distribution: My C/L site, CCF.net, anyone else ask and you can have. Just leave my name on it.
Feedback: Please?
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss, David, ME, and all those names that you all should know by now.
Dedication: Tonnie for A) being my C/L partner in crime B) Encouraging me to do this C) Being Cordy to my Lindsey. Sigh. D) For always reading over my stuff in IM so that I know it doesn’t suck *before* I post.
Additional Notes: Yes this is a WiP, but its not like my other WiPs. I actually have it planned in my head, and I know exactly where it is going. I believe in all honesty this fic is going to be some of my best writing to date, and I don't compliment myself often, so I would really like to know what you think.
Cordelia slammed into the apartment and threw her purse down on the table.
“I can’t believe this!” she screamed out loud, “they are both such assholes! I mean, Angel I get. Darla has this power over him, but WESLEY? How in the hell could he side with Angel on this?” she slammed the door shut loudly and looked around.
A cup of hot tea came floating across the room to her.
“Thanks Dennis,” she smiled sadly, “Is Lindsey still here?”
Dennis knocked on the wall once, indicating a no. Cordelia sighed deeply. Part of her was hoping he hadn’t gone. Of course, she never would have admitted it to him, but she had sort of enjoyed the company. Not because it was Lindsey McDonald, but because it was someone that didn’t have all of these expectations about her. She could say anything to him, and it didn’t matter.
She walked through the apartment, and sat at the kitchen table, sipping the tea Dennis had brought her.
“I hate my life,” she whispered to herself.
Sometimes she wondered what things would have been like. Without the visions. Without Angel. She liked to think it would have been wonderful. She could have gotten the fame she had always wanted. She could have been rich. She could have been loved.
But most of the time she just told herself that even with all of that stuff, she would have just been this bitchy actress.
But here? Here she was doing something good. She was helping the helpless. She was virtually sacrificing herself to save people every day. And she did it all for nothing. And she felt good about that.
Sometimes she wondered if she was the only one who really cared.
Angel was so easily swayed. At the drop of a hat he would decide that something was more important than the world. He had proved that less than a month ago by freeing that monster in a humans body to save her life. And he was proving it again with Darla.
Wesley was supposed to be different. He didn’t have any reason to turn her away. To make her leave. And yet he had. The one person she truly thought she could count on, and he had turned his back on her.
For Darla.
Of all people. Not people. Darla wasn’t even a person. She was a vampire. The evil kind. And her friends had turned their backs on the people who needed them for her. Cordelia was not only angry, but disappointed.
“Ugh, where is an evil ex-lawyer when you need a punching bag?” she said to herself.
She plopped her head down on the table. There was small tapping sound coming from the other room.
“Dennis!” she raised her head, “Could you keep it down in there?” she paused slightly for a moment, trying to place the sound, “oh! Stupid Cordelia. That would be someone at the door, not the ghost,” she mumbled to herself.
She walked quickly to the door, smiling as she opened it.
“Hey,” Lindsey said, standing on the other side.
“Lindsey!” she was slightly surprised to see him back, “What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry. I know you wanted me gone.”
“No, its fine,” she smiled softly at him, “come on in,” she motioned him to the apartment.
He stepped in, closing the door behind him.
“I’m sorry to bother you, I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“No, its fine. Actually, if I ever needed anyone to talk to? Right now is it,” she smiled sadly, stepping back into the living room.
She sat on the couch, and motioned to him.
“You can sit, stay a while,” she smiled again. She actually seemed happy this time.
“So, you need some one to talk to?” he sat next to her on the couch, frowning, “did something happen?”
She frowned.
“Angel and Wesley. They made me leave the hotel. Just because I said that Darla was evil, which by the way? Is true!” she defended herself, “and I just can’t believe it, ya know? Everything we’ve been through, and they just toss me away, like I’m nothing. I mean, I get it. With Angel. I totally understand. Whatever she’s having, whether it be a demon or a baby or a little tiny evil vampire. It’s his. But Wesley? Why would he do that? Just turn his back on me?” Cordelia was almost in tears.
Lindsey didn’t know what to say or do. So he did the first thing he could think of. He moved close to her, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, giving her a tight comforting hug.
Cordelia put her arms around him tightly, burying her head in his shoulder. She let the tears flow freely.
“They were my friends,” she whispered softly.
“I know,” he frowned. He didn’t think he would ever see her like this.
So fragile. Almost weak.
She pulled away from him, and wiped her eyes. She plastered a fake smile across her face.
“Oh God, look at me, I’m sorry. I’m usually not a big weepy mess,” she faked a laugh.
“It’s alright,” he said, wiping a tear away from her cheek.
“No. It’s not,” she shook her head, “this isn’t me. I’m not like this. I don’t break down in front of people I barely know. Hell, I don’t break down in front of my friends. I’m just strong, tactless Cordelia Chase. I don’t let things like this get to me. I never have.”
“Cordelia, everyone has a weak moment now and then," he hesitated for a moment, "I know I don't know the first thing about you and the last thing you probably want is me psychoanalyzing you, but you're not a weak person. You try too damn hard to be strong, to keep people from seeing you as this vulnerable person. But you can't do that all the time. Everyone needs to vent-- you included. It doesn't make you weak."
She frowned slightly, turning away from him.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Being here? Trying to comfort me? You could have left this morning and never come back, and you did. You came back,” she turned back to him, looking him in the eyes, “why?”
“I guess,” his voice shifted slightly, “I guess I don’t know. When I left this morning, I didn’t intend on coming back, but I just had to. I wanted,” he paused for a moment, “no, I needed to make sure you were okay.”
Cordelia smiled sadly. She found everything so hard to believe. Darla showing up. Lindsey showing up. A voice inside was saying this was all some well mapped out planned. That Lindsey McDonald could not be this unselfish. Especially towards Angel’s vision girl of all people. But when she looked at him. Really looked, she knew that wasn’t the case. He seemed genuine. Like he really did care.
“I’d really like to say that I don’t want you here. That you should go, but I can’t. Thank you Lindsey. I mean that,” she said quietly.
“Don’t mention it Cordelia,” he smiled sadly, “I just want to know you’ve got someone looking out for you.”
“I really appreciate it,” she smiled at him, genuinely this time.
Their eyes met. He gently placed his hand on her face, and pulled her close to him. His lips met hers softly for just a moment before he pulled back.
“I’m sorry,” he said turning away from her.
“Sorry?”
“For that. I wasn’t-” he paused as he turned back to face her, “I didn’t plan that.”
“Lindsey, I didn’t think you did,” she laughed softly, “I didn’t mind.”
She moved in to kiss him again, placing her arms around his neck. She brushed his lips with her own. He put his arms around her, embracing her tightly as their kiss grew deeper.
She jolted away from him quickly and fell back on the couch.
“Cordelia?” he moved around to kneel on the couch beside her.
She gripped her head tightly as she shook. He could tell she was in pain, and he didn’t know what to do about. He couldn’t do anything about it.
She stopped and tried to sit up, but Lindsey gently pushed her back down on the couch.
“Cordelia, you shouldn’t get up,” he whispered, moving a piece of hair away from her face.
“No, I have to,” she forced herself into a sitting position, “I’m just going to run to the hotel, tell Wesley what I saw, and come right back.”
“Are you sure? Do you really feel up to it?” he frowned.
“I do this all the time Lindsey,” she said reassuringly, “I’ll be right back.”
She got up and walked out of the apartment.
He would have tried to stop her, but somehow he knew that would be useless.
*****
“Guys…” Cordelia stepped into the hotel, quietly, “I know you told me to leave, but I had a vision, and I wanted to come tell you what it was. After that I’ll leave alone to do whatever the hell it is you all do now.”
“Cordelia?” Wesley walked into the lobby from the office.
“No, the other girl around here who has visions.”
“Cordelia there’s no need to-” she cut him off quickly.
“Look, don’t, alright. I’m not here to get all chummy. You proved you don’t want to be my friend right now, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to let the people we are supposed to help suffer because of it, so here,” she handed him a slip of paper.
“What’s this?”
“An address. There’s a guy there. Maybe nineteen, about to become some she-vamps afternoon snack. If you hurry, you might make it in time,” she said quickly.
Cordelia spun around and began to walk out of the hotel.
“Well well well, what have we here? This is…interesting.”
Cordelia stopped as she heard Darla’s voice. She hated that voice.
“Darla,” she said flatly turning back around.
Darla walked up to her and stared for a moment.
“Cordelia,” she almost purred the name, sniffing the air around her.
“Okay. Look, I realize that the guys have offered to help you, but that doesn’t mean you can come sniffing me.”
“I know that smell,” Darla said with a wicked grin on her face.
“What?” Cordelia asked, confused.
“You know what I’m talking about. You smell like him,” she whispered into Cordelia’s ear.
Cordelia jumped back. This was creepy. Not the normal kind of creepy she usually dealt with, but the fact that Darla could smell Lindsey on her? Wasn’t comforting in anyway.
“Cordelia, what is she talking about?” Wesley asked.
“Don’t ask me,” Cordelia lied, “she’s an evil psycho vampire. She could be going on about anything.”
“But she’s not,” Angel was standing at the base of the stairs, “what the hell is going on Cordelia?”
“What?”
“Lindsey. I’ve been around him enough to know his scent, and you reek of it,” Angel said coldly.
“Lindsey McDonald?” Wesley asked.
“So?” Cordelia asked.
“So. Cordelia he’s ev-” she cut him off.
“Oh no! Don’t you dare go there. Don’t give me a speech about how he’s evil and I need to think about what I’m doing. You have no room to talk. None,” she looked over at Darla.
“That’s different.”
“No Angel. It’s not,” she paused, “besides, you gave up any right to know my business the second you kicked me out of the hotel. I don’t want to hear it,” to Wesley, “you have the information. Don’t let that boy die.”
She spun around, and walked out the door, not taking a second glance back at her friends.
Feedback please?
1 2 3
Author: TopazAngel
Title: Everything Falls Apart 4/?
Rating: R (not in this chapter, but will be by the end)
Word count: 1948
Fandom: Angel
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Cordelia/Lindsey, Cordelia/Angel, (Angel/Darla, Lindsey/Darla Implied)
Spoilers: None
Timeline: Before ‘Offspring,’ after ‘Billy’
Teaser: As Cordelia’s visions worsen, Darla comes back with a surprise. Cordelia has no choice but to confide in an outsider who just happens back in town.
Distribution: My C/L site, CCF.net, anyone else ask and you can have. Just leave my name on it.
Feedback: Please?
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss, David, ME, and all those names that you all should know by now.
Dedication: Tonnie for A) being my C/L partner in crime B) Encouraging me to do this C) Being Cordy to my Lindsey. Sigh. D) For always reading over my stuff in IM so that I know it doesn’t suck *before* I post.
Additional Notes: Yes this is a WiP, but its not like my other WiPs. I actually have it planned in my head, and I know exactly where it is going. I believe in all honesty this fic is going to be some of my best writing to date, and I don't compliment myself often, so I would really like to know what you think.
Cordelia slammed into the apartment and threw her purse down on the table.
“I can’t believe this!” she screamed out loud, “they are both such assholes! I mean, Angel I get. Darla has this power over him, but WESLEY? How in the hell could he side with Angel on this?” she slammed the door shut loudly and looked around.
A cup of hot tea came floating across the room to her.
“Thanks Dennis,” she smiled sadly, “Is Lindsey still here?”
Dennis knocked on the wall once, indicating a no. Cordelia sighed deeply. Part of her was hoping he hadn’t gone. Of course, she never would have admitted it to him, but she had sort of enjoyed the company. Not because it was Lindsey McDonald, but because it was someone that didn’t have all of these expectations about her. She could say anything to him, and it didn’t matter.
She walked through the apartment, and sat at the kitchen table, sipping the tea Dennis had brought her.
“I hate my life,” she whispered to herself.
Sometimes she wondered what things would have been like. Without the visions. Without Angel. She liked to think it would have been wonderful. She could have gotten the fame she had always wanted. She could have been rich. She could have been loved.
But most of the time she just told herself that even with all of that stuff, she would have just been this bitchy actress.
But here? Here she was doing something good. She was helping the helpless. She was virtually sacrificing herself to save people every day. And she did it all for nothing. And she felt good about that.
Sometimes she wondered if she was the only one who really cared.
Angel was so easily swayed. At the drop of a hat he would decide that something was more important than the world. He had proved that less than a month ago by freeing that monster in a humans body to save her life. And he was proving it again with Darla.
Wesley was supposed to be different. He didn’t have any reason to turn her away. To make her leave. And yet he had. The one person she truly thought she could count on, and he had turned his back on her.
For Darla.
Of all people. Not people. Darla wasn’t even a person. She was a vampire. The evil kind. And her friends had turned their backs on the people who needed them for her. Cordelia was not only angry, but disappointed.
“Ugh, where is an evil ex-lawyer when you need a punching bag?” she said to herself.
She plopped her head down on the table. There was small tapping sound coming from the other room.
“Dennis!” she raised her head, “Could you keep it down in there?” she paused slightly for a moment, trying to place the sound, “oh! Stupid Cordelia. That would be someone at the door, not the ghost,” she mumbled to herself.
She walked quickly to the door, smiling as she opened it.
“Hey,” Lindsey said, standing on the other side.
“Lindsey!” she was slightly surprised to see him back, “What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry. I know you wanted me gone.”
“No, its fine,” she smiled softly at him, “come on in,” she motioned him to the apartment.
He stepped in, closing the door behind him.
“I’m sorry to bother you, I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“No, its fine. Actually, if I ever needed anyone to talk to? Right now is it,” she smiled sadly, stepping back into the living room.
She sat on the couch, and motioned to him.
“You can sit, stay a while,” she smiled again. She actually seemed happy this time.
“So, you need some one to talk to?” he sat next to her on the couch, frowning, “did something happen?”
She frowned.
“Angel and Wesley. They made me leave the hotel. Just because I said that Darla was evil, which by the way? Is true!” she defended herself, “and I just can’t believe it, ya know? Everything we’ve been through, and they just toss me away, like I’m nothing. I mean, I get it. With Angel. I totally understand. Whatever she’s having, whether it be a demon or a baby or a little tiny evil vampire. It’s his. But Wesley? Why would he do that? Just turn his back on me?” Cordelia was almost in tears.
Lindsey didn’t know what to say or do. So he did the first thing he could think of. He moved close to her, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, giving her a tight comforting hug.
Cordelia put her arms around him tightly, burying her head in his shoulder. She let the tears flow freely.
“They were my friends,” she whispered softly.
“I know,” he frowned. He didn’t think he would ever see her like this.
So fragile. Almost weak.
She pulled away from him, and wiped her eyes. She plastered a fake smile across her face.
“Oh God, look at me, I’m sorry. I’m usually not a big weepy mess,” she faked a laugh.
“It’s alright,” he said, wiping a tear away from her cheek.
“No. It’s not,” she shook her head, “this isn’t me. I’m not like this. I don’t break down in front of people I barely know. Hell, I don’t break down in front of my friends. I’m just strong, tactless Cordelia Chase. I don’t let things like this get to me. I never have.”
“Cordelia, everyone has a weak moment now and then," he hesitated for a moment, "I know I don't know the first thing about you and the last thing you probably want is me psychoanalyzing you, but you're not a weak person. You try too damn hard to be strong, to keep people from seeing you as this vulnerable person. But you can't do that all the time. Everyone needs to vent-- you included. It doesn't make you weak."
She frowned slightly, turning away from him.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Being here? Trying to comfort me? You could have left this morning and never come back, and you did. You came back,” she turned back to him, looking him in the eyes, “why?”
“I guess,” his voice shifted slightly, “I guess I don’t know. When I left this morning, I didn’t intend on coming back, but I just had to. I wanted,” he paused for a moment, “no, I needed to make sure you were okay.”
Cordelia smiled sadly. She found everything so hard to believe. Darla showing up. Lindsey showing up. A voice inside was saying this was all some well mapped out planned. That Lindsey McDonald could not be this unselfish. Especially towards Angel’s vision girl of all people. But when she looked at him. Really looked, she knew that wasn’t the case. He seemed genuine. Like he really did care.
“I’d really like to say that I don’t want you here. That you should go, but I can’t. Thank you Lindsey. I mean that,” she said quietly.
“Don’t mention it Cordelia,” he smiled sadly, “I just want to know you’ve got someone looking out for you.”
“I really appreciate it,” she smiled at him, genuinely this time.
Their eyes met. He gently placed his hand on her face, and pulled her close to him. His lips met hers softly for just a moment before he pulled back.
“I’m sorry,” he said turning away from her.
“Sorry?”
“For that. I wasn’t-” he paused as he turned back to face her, “I didn’t plan that.”
“Lindsey, I didn’t think you did,” she laughed softly, “I didn’t mind.”
She moved in to kiss him again, placing her arms around his neck. She brushed his lips with her own. He put his arms around her, embracing her tightly as their kiss grew deeper.
She jolted away from him quickly and fell back on the couch.
“Cordelia?” he moved around to kneel on the couch beside her.
She gripped her head tightly as she shook. He could tell she was in pain, and he didn’t know what to do about. He couldn’t do anything about it.
She stopped and tried to sit up, but Lindsey gently pushed her back down on the couch.
“Cordelia, you shouldn’t get up,” he whispered, moving a piece of hair away from her face.
“No, I have to,” she forced herself into a sitting position, “I’m just going to run to the hotel, tell Wesley what I saw, and come right back.”
“Are you sure? Do you really feel up to it?” he frowned.
“I do this all the time Lindsey,” she said reassuringly, “I’ll be right back.”
She got up and walked out of the apartment.
He would have tried to stop her, but somehow he knew that would be useless.
*****
“Guys…” Cordelia stepped into the hotel, quietly, “I know you told me to leave, but I had a vision, and I wanted to come tell you what it was. After that I’ll leave alone to do whatever the hell it is you all do now.”
“Cordelia?” Wesley walked into the lobby from the office.
“No, the other girl around here who has visions.”
“Cordelia there’s no need to-” she cut him off quickly.
“Look, don’t, alright. I’m not here to get all chummy. You proved you don’t want to be my friend right now, and that’s fine. But I’m not going to let the people we are supposed to help suffer because of it, so here,” she handed him a slip of paper.
“What’s this?”
“An address. There’s a guy there. Maybe nineteen, about to become some she-vamps afternoon snack. If you hurry, you might make it in time,” she said quickly.
Cordelia spun around and began to walk out of the hotel.
“Well well well, what have we here? This is…interesting.”
Cordelia stopped as she heard Darla’s voice. She hated that voice.
“Darla,” she said flatly turning back around.
Darla walked up to her and stared for a moment.
“Cordelia,” she almost purred the name, sniffing the air around her.
“Okay. Look, I realize that the guys have offered to help you, but that doesn’t mean you can come sniffing me.”
“I know that smell,” Darla said with a wicked grin on her face.
“What?” Cordelia asked, confused.
“You know what I’m talking about. You smell like him,” she whispered into Cordelia’s ear.
Cordelia jumped back. This was creepy. Not the normal kind of creepy she usually dealt with, but the fact that Darla could smell Lindsey on her? Wasn’t comforting in anyway.
“Cordelia, what is she talking about?” Wesley asked.
“Don’t ask me,” Cordelia lied, “she’s an evil psycho vampire. She could be going on about anything.”
“But she’s not,” Angel was standing at the base of the stairs, “what the hell is going on Cordelia?”
“What?”
“Lindsey. I’ve been around him enough to know his scent, and you reek of it,” Angel said coldly.
“Lindsey McDonald?” Wesley asked.
“So?” Cordelia asked.
“So. Cordelia he’s ev-” she cut him off.
“Oh no! Don’t you dare go there. Don’t give me a speech about how he’s evil and I need to think about what I’m doing. You have no room to talk. None,” she looked over at Darla.
“That’s different.”
“No Angel. It’s not,” she paused, “besides, you gave up any right to know my business the second you kicked me out of the hotel. I don’t want to hear it,” to Wesley, “you have the information. Don’t let that boy die.”
She spun around, and walked out the door, not taking a second glance back at her friends.
Feedback please?