Angst!Fic 5/5
A couple of extra notes. The rating went from R to PG 13, cause it didn't get as heavy as I thought it would. Also, It didn't end up as long as I thought it would be, but I really like how it turned out.
Previous Chapters:
1-2-3-4
Author: TopazAngel
Title: Everything Falls Apart 5/5
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1835
Fandom: Angel
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Cordelia/Lindsey (Cordelia/Angel, Angel/Darla, Lindsey/Darla Implied)
Spoilers: None
Timeline: Before ‘Offspring,’ after ‘Billy’
Teaser: As Cordelia’s visions worsen, Darla comes back with a surprise. Cordelia has no choice but to confide in an outsider who just happens back in town.
Distribution: My C/L site, CCF.net, anyone else ask and you can have. Just leave my name on it.
Feedback: Please?
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss, David, ME, and all those names that you all should know by now.
Dedication: Tonnie for A) being my C/L partner in crime B) Encouraging me to do this C) Being Cordy to my Lindsey. Sigh. D) For always reading over my stuff in IM so that I know it doesn’t suck *before* I post.
Additional Notes: Yes this is a WiP, but its not like my other WiPs. I actually have it planned in my head, and I know exactly where it is going. I believe in all honesty this fic is going to be some of my best writing to date, and I don't compliment myself often, so I would really like to know what you think.
Cordelia’s vision headache wasn’t going away. She could only assume Angel and Wesley had spent too much time dwelling on Darla’s sense of smell rather than actually going to save the boy. The headache would only go away under two conditions. One, they got off their stubborn asses and saved him or two, they didn’t make it in time and the boy died.
She hadn’t gone back to the apartment. She had decided to take the long walk home. It always helped clear her thoughts after particularly painful visions.
She knew Lindsey was probably worrying at this point, but she knew he would just do the typical guy thing. He would make sure she was okay, tell her to take it easy, ask if he could get her anything, and stand over her like stalker-boy. She didn’t want to deal with it. She hated it when Angel did that. She wouldn’t like it anymore when it was Lindsey.
She couldn’t avoid it for much longer though. She was almost at the apartment. Besides that, she needed to get some pain killers in her as quick as possible. She was really starting to think someone in the universe was out to get her. The visions got harder every time she had one. At this point, they were almost unbearable. But she didn’t really have a choice, so she didn’t complain.
But she didn’t understand it anymore. When she started having the visions, it was because she was Angel’s link to the powers. But Angel had tossed her to the side. For the second time. She didn’t feel like it was worth it to carry all of this on her back, if Angel didn’t care.
She found herself standing at her own door step. She didn’t actually remember getting there, but apparently she had. She was used to virtually blacking out in the aftermath of a vision.
Lindsey was sitting on the couch in silence as she walked in.
“Hey,” she said softly, sitting down next to him.
“How’d it go?” he asked, concerned.
“Not good,” she frowned, “that vampire sense of smell? Kinda creepy,” she nodded slowly.
“What happened?”
“Darla and Angel could smell you on me. How incredibly ishy is that? I mean, seriously. She came up to me and just,” she paused slightly, “smelled.”
“So I guess your friends didn’t take that to well?” He asked.
She just shrugged slightly.
“Angel didn’t seem happy. I didn’t give him a chance to lecture me. I went in and did what I had to do. I told them about the vision and left. Which, by the way, apparently they don’t think is important, because I can tell by the massive pain in my head they still haven’t solved the problem.”
“Do you need anything,” he frowned slightly.
“Nah,” she smiled sadly, “I’m just gonna get some pain killers in me, and lie down. Usually that helps. But thanks.”
He nodded.
“Well, if you need anything? I’ll be in here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thanks Lindsey,” she walked into the bathroom.
Her medicine cabinet was almost a pharmacy in itself. She had almost every different pain killer available to man. The doctors would up dosages, change drugs, mix drugs, whatever they needed to do. Usually it did nothing more than ease the pain long enough for her to get to sleep.
She swallowed a few pills and walked into the bedroom and lied down on the bed. Her eyes closed tightly and the pills took effect quickly.
It was only a few hours before she was awake again, just waiting for it to happen all over again.
*****
Lindsey had just fallen asleep on the couch when he jolted up. There was a large banging at the door.
He only knew of one person that would want in that badly. He knew answering the door was not a good idea, but he did it anyway.
“Angel.”
“Lindsey McDonald,” Angel smirked slightly, “thought you weren’t coming back to LA.”
“What can I say? Couldn’t stay away.”
“What’s your game Lindsey?”
“No game.”
“Gee, for some reason I just don’t buy that,” Angel pushed Lindsey out of the way and stepped through the door, “where’s Cordy?”
“Asleep, and I’m thinking? Not really wanting to see you right now,” Lindsey said with a forceful voice.
“And I’m sure she’s going to be thrilled to see you here when she wakes up.”
“What do you want Angel? To tell her what a big mistake she’s making? Or to tell her that she needs to lay off Darla again? Because whichever it is, she doesn’t want to hear it.”
“And you know Cordy so well?” Angel asked him.
“Right now? Yes.”
“Really?” Angel was growing annoyed with Lindsey. In his mind, he knew Cordelia better than anyone. The idea that of all people Lindsey McDonald knew her better than him was absurd.
“Yeah, I do,” Lindsey nodded firmly.
“And why’s that?”
“Because this last week while you and your gang of “heroes” have been tending to Darla I’ve been here, listening to everything she has to say. Listening to her cry and scream about you and the way you treat her.”
“Lindsey, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but I’m not buying,” Angel said through clenched teeth.
“Do you know what the visions are doing to her Angel? What she’s going through?”
“I think I have a better knowledge of what Cordelia’s visions are doing to her than you do. I’ve been by her side for the past three years. You’ve been here, what did you say? A week?”
“They’re killing her Angel,” Lindsey said quietly, “and you and your friends that so lovingly call yourselves her family? Don’t even notice,” he spat.
“No,” Angel paused, “if Cordy were dying, I’d know. She’d tell me.”
“When Angel? While you were at Darla’s side or when you and Wesley were telling her she was better off not being at the hotel? Face it, you haven’t been the friend you think you have been lately.”
Angel didn’t say anything. He couldn’t think of what to say. He tried to convince himself that Lindsey was lying. That there was no way this could be true.
If Cordelia was really in that much pain. If things had gotten that bad for her, he would know. She would have to tell him.
“No.”
“Fine Angel. Don’t believe me, but believe this,” he paused slightly, “Cordelia doesn’t want you here. She doesn’t want to hear you tell her that she doesn’t know what she is doing with me or that she just needs to suck it up and deal with Darla. Because she isn’t going to listen. So just go.”
“You can’t tell me to leave,” Angel said roughly.
“No,” Lindsey and Angel both turned at the sound of her voice, “but I can. Leave Angel. Now. I don’t want to talk to you right now, and I’m not going to change my mind.”
“Cordy I-”
“Don’t Angel,” she walked up to him, “Not now, not ever. You’ve hurt me way too much these past few days. I don’t want to hear you apologize. I don’t want a speech about how I have to come back for the good of the helpless. Because the helpless? They aren’t what you care about anymore. You proved that this afternoon when you and Wes let that teenage boy die,” Cordelia told him forcefully.
“Fine Cordelia. If you want to give up on what we’ve worked so hard for all these year for what? For him?” Angel gestured to Lindsey, “that’s your business,” he told her roughly.
“This has nothing to do with him. This started before he was ever in the picture Angel. This about you. And how everything seems to take precedence over the people we save. And how you turn your back on me every time you get the chance. Well Angel? Consider this payback. Its my turn to abandon you.”
Angel stood, shocked for a moment, but he knew he had lost. He turned around to leave, but turned back after only a few steps.
“Fine Cordelia. This is your choice, but don’t come crying to me when he turns on you, and trust me, he will,” he turned back around and walked out of the apartment.
“Cordelia, I’m-”
“Don’t Lindsey,” she smiled at him sadly, “You didn’t do anything. He’s just being an asshole. Something he’s actually quite good at.”
“I just want you to know. I don’t have any intention of turning on you.”
“I know. Besides, even if you did. It could never hurt as much as it hurt to have him do it twice.”
*****
Cordelia and Lindsey had moved into the living room. She was sitting with her head on his chest and his arms wrapped around her.
“Lindsey?” she whispered his name softly.
“Hmm?”
“I just,” she looked up at him, “I wanted to thank you again, for being here. I don’t think I could have done any of this without you.”
“You’re welcome,” he smiled sadly, “but I really think you could have done it. It just might have taken a little longer.”
“Maybe but, I just wanted to say this, that’s all. Because when everything in my life was falling apart, you showed up, just in time. To help me when I really needed it.”
“Guess I have good timing,” he laughed slightly.
“Guess so,” she smiled at him, “well, I should get some sleep. I’ve had a long day.”
“Yeah, I’ll be on the couch if you need me,” he smiled as she stood.
She bent down to kiss him softly on the lips.
“See you in the morning,” she whispered, before walking into the other room.
*****
Lindsey woke up the next morning to Cordelia screaming. He jolted up and ran into her room as fast as he could.
This was the worst he had seen. She was shaking and crying when she came to. He could tell this was one of her worse visions.
“Cordelia?” He kneeled by her bed, a touched her forehead, “are you okay?”
“Lindsey?” she whispered softly, “I’m…” she trailed off.
“Cordelia. What did you see?”
“I saw this,” she whispered.
He stared at her, not believing what she said. Not wanting to think about what it meant. He gripped her hand tightly.
“What?”
“This. It’s what I saw,” she paused, “Lindsey? Why is this happening?”
Lindsey’s eyes filled with tears. He tried to tell himself this wasn’t happening, that it was a nightmare.
“Cordelia…It’s gonna be okay.”
“No. It’s not,” she whispered.
“Shh, don’t say that,” he brushed some loose hair from her forehead.
“You can’t save me.”
He looked at her in horror. This couldn’t be the end. No. He didn’t want this to be the end.
She raised a hand to his face and touched him softly.
“I just found you Cordelia,” he whispered.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “goodbye.”
Her eyes closed slowly, and she was gone.
End.
Now, everyone rejoice, Toppie actually finished a WiP, and she actually thinks its good. This probably won't EVER happen again.
So. Feedback, no?
Previous Chapters:
1-2-3-4
Author: TopazAngel
Title: Everything Falls Apart 5/5
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1835
Fandom: Angel
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Cordelia/Lindsey (Cordelia/Angel, Angel/Darla, Lindsey/Darla Implied)
Spoilers: None
Timeline: Before ‘Offspring,’ after ‘Billy’
Teaser: As Cordelia’s visions worsen, Darla comes back with a surprise. Cordelia has no choice but to confide in an outsider who just happens back in town.
Distribution: My C/L site, CCF.net, anyone else ask and you can have. Just leave my name on it.
Feedback: Please?
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss, David, ME, and all those names that you all should know by now.
Dedication: Tonnie for A) being my C/L partner in crime B) Encouraging me to do this C) Being Cordy to my Lindsey. Sigh. D) For always reading over my stuff in IM so that I know it doesn’t suck *before* I post.
Additional Notes: Yes this is a WiP, but its not like my other WiPs. I actually have it planned in my head, and I know exactly where it is going. I believe in all honesty this fic is going to be some of my best writing to date, and I don't compliment myself often, so I would really like to know what you think.
Cordelia’s vision headache wasn’t going away. She could only assume Angel and Wesley had spent too much time dwelling on Darla’s sense of smell rather than actually going to save the boy. The headache would only go away under two conditions. One, they got off their stubborn asses and saved him or two, they didn’t make it in time and the boy died.
She hadn’t gone back to the apartment. She had decided to take the long walk home. It always helped clear her thoughts after particularly painful visions.
She knew Lindsey was probably worrying at this point, but she knew he would just do the typical guy thing. He would make sure she was okay, tell her to take it easy, ask if he could get her anything, and stand over her like stalker-boy. She didn’t want to deal with it. She hated it when Angel did that. She wouldn’t like it anymore when it was Lindsey.
She couldn’t avoid it for much longer though. She was almost at the apartment. Besides that, she needed to get some pain killers in her as quick as possible. She was really starting to think someone in the universe was out to get her. The visions got harder every time she had one. At this point, they were almost unbearable. But she didn’t really have a choice, so she didn’t complain.
But she didn’t understand it anymore. When she started having the visions, it was because she was Angel’s link to the powers. But Angel had tossed her to the side. For the second time. She didn’t feel like it was worth it to carry all of this on her back, if Angel didn’t care.
She found herself standing at her own door step. She didn’t actually remember getting there, but apparently she had. She was used to virtually blacking out in the aftermath of a vision.
Lindsey was sitting on the couch in silence as she walked in.
“Hey,” she said softly, sitting down next to him.
“How’d it go?” he asked, concerned.
“Not good,” she frowned, “that vampire sense of smell? Kinda creepy,” she nodded slowly.
“What happened?”
“Darla and Angel could smell you on me. How incredibly ishy is that? I mean, seriously. She came up to me and just,” she paused slightly, “smelled.”
“So I guess your friends didn’t take that to well?” He asked.
She just shrugged slightly.
“Angel didn’t seem happy. I didn’t give him a chance to lecture me. I went in and did what I had to do. I told them about the vision and left. Which, by the way, apparently they don’t think is important, because I can tell by the massive pain in my head they still haven’t solved the problem.”
“Do you need anything,” he frowned slightly.
“Nah,” she smiled sadly, “I’m just gonna get some pain killers in me, and lie down. Usually that helps. But thanks.”
He nodded.
“Well, if you need anything? I’ll be in here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thanks Lindsey,” she walked into the bathroom.
Her medicine cabinet was almost a pharmacy in itself. She had almost every different pain killer available to man. The doctors would up dosages, change drugs, mix drugs, whatever they needed to do. Usually it did nothing more than ease the pain long enough for her to get to sleep.
She swallowed a few pills and walked into the bedroom and lied down on the bed. Her eyes closed tightly and the pills took effect quickly.
It was only a few hours before she was awake again, just waiting for it to happen all over again.
*****
Lindsey had just fallen asleep on the couch when he jolted up. There was a large banging at the door.
He only knew of one person that would want in that badly. He knew answering the door was not a good idea, but he did it anyway.
“Angel.”
“Lindsey McDonald,” Angel smirked slightly, “thought you weren’t coming back to LA.”
“What can I say? Couldn’t stay away.”
“What’s your game Lindsey?”
“No game.”
“Gee, for some reason I just don’t buy that,” Angel pushed Lindsey out of the way and stepped through the door, “where’s Cordy?”
“Asleep, and I’m thinking? Not really wanting to see you right now,” Lindsey said with a forceful voice.
“And I’m sure she’s going to be thrilled to see you here when she wakes up.”
“What do you want Angel? To tell her what a big mistake she’s making? Or to tell her that she needs to lay off Darla again? Because whichever it is, she doesn’t want to hear it.”
“And you know Cordy so well?” Angel asked him.
“Right now? Yes.”
“Really?” Angel was growing annoyed with Lindsey. In his mind, he knew Cordelia better than anyone. The idea that of all people Lindsey McDonald knew her better than him was absurd.
“Yeah, I do,” Lindsey nodded firmly.
“And why’s that?”
“Because this last week while you and your gang of “heroes” have been tending to Darla I’ve been here, listening to everything she has to say. Listening to her cry and scream about you and the way you treat her.”
“Lindsey, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but I’m not buying,” Angel said through clenched teeth.
“Do you know what the visions are doing to her Angel? What she’s going through?”
“I think I have a better knowledge of what Cordelia’s visions are doing to her than you do. I’ve been by her side for the past three years. You’ve been here, what did you say? A week?”
“They’re killing her Angel,” Lindsey said quietly, “and you and your friends that so lovingly call yourselves her family? Don’t even notice,” he spat.
“No,” Angel paused, “if Cordy were dying, I’d know. She’d tell me.”
“When Angel? While you were at Darla’s side or when you and Wesley were telling her she was better off not being at the hotel? Face it, you haven’t been the friend you think you have been lately.”
Angel didn’t say anything. He couldn’t think of what to say. He tried to convince himself that Lindsey was lying. That there was no way this could be true.
If Cordelia was really in that much pain. If things had gotten that bad for her, he would know. She would have to tell him.
“No.”
“Fine Angel. Don’t believe me, but believe this,” he paused slightly, “Cordelia doesn’t want you here. She doesn’t want to hear you tell her that she doesn’t know what she is doing with me or that she just needs to suck it up and deal with Darla. Because she isn’t going to listen. So just go.”
“You can’t tell me to leave,” Angel said roughly.
“No,” Lindsey and Angel both turned at the sound of her voice, “but I can. Leave Angel. Now. I don’t want to talk to you right now, and I’m not going to change my mind.”
“Cordy I-”
“Don’t Angel,” she walked up to him, “Not now, not ever. You’ve hurt me way too much these past few days. I don’t want to hear you apologize. I don’t want a speech about how I have to come back for the good of the helpless. Because the helpless? They aren’t what you care about anymore. You proved that this afternoon when you and Wes let that teenage boy die,” Cordelia told him forcefully.
“Fine Cordelia. If you want to give up on what we’ve worked so hard for all these year for what? For him?” Angel gestured to Lindsey, “that’s your business,” he told her roughly.
“This has nothing to do with him. This started before he was ever in the picture Angel. This about you. And how everything seems to take precedence over the people we save. And how you turn your back on me every time you get the chance. Well Angel? Consider this payback. Its my turn to abandon you.”
Angel stood, shocked for a moment, but he knew he had lost. He turned around to leave, but turned back after only a few steps.
“Fine Cordelia. This is your choice, but don’t come crying to me when he turns on you, and trust me, he will,” he turned back around and walked out of the apartment.
“Cordelia, I’m-”
“Don’t Lindsey,” she smiled at him sadly, “You didn’t do anything. He’s just being an asshole. Something he’s actually quite good at.”
“I just want you to know. I don’t have any intention of turning on you.”
“I know. Besides, even if you did. It could never hurt as much as it hurt to have him do it twice.”
*****
Cordelia and Lindsey had moved into the living room. She was sitting with her head on his chest and his arms wrapped around her.
“Lindsey?” she whispered his name softly.
“Hmm?”
“I just,” she looked up at him, “I wanted to thank you again, for being here. I don’t think I could have done any of this without you.”
“You’re welcome,” he smiled sadly, “but I really think you could have done it. It just might have taken a little longer.”
“Maybe but, I just wanted to say this, that’s all. Because when everything in my life was falling apart, you showed up, just in time. To help me when I really needed it.”
“Guess I have good timing,” he laughed slightly.
“Guess so,” she smiled at him, “well, I should get some sleep. I’ve had a long day.”
“Yeah, I’ll be on the couch if you need me,” he smiled as she stood.
She bent down to kiss him softly on the lips.
“See you in the morning,” she whispered, before walking into the other room.
*****
Lindsey woke up the next morning to Cordelia screaming. He jolted up and ran into her room as fast as he could.
This was the worst he had seen. She was shaking and crying when she came to. He could tell this was one of her worse visions.
“Cordelia?” He kneeled by her bed, a touched her forehead, “are you okay?”
“Lindsey?” she whispered softly, “I’m…” she trailed off.
“Cordelia. What did you see?”
“I saw this,” she whispered.
He stared at her, not believing what she said. Not wanting to think about what it meant. He gripped her hand tightly.
“What?”
“This. It’s what I saw,” she paused, “Lindsey? Why is this happening?”
Lindsey’s eyes filled with tears. He tried to tell himself this wasn’t happening, that it was a nightmare.
“Cordelia…It’s gonna be okay.”
“No. It’s not,” she whispered.
“Shh, don’t say that,” he brushed some loose hair from her forehead.
“You can’t save me.”
He looked at her in horror. This couldn’t be the end. No. He didn’t want this to be the end.
She raised a hand to his face and touched him softly.
“I just found you Cordelia,” he whispered.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “goodbye.”
Her eyes closed slowly, and she was gone.
End.
Now, everyone rejoice, Toppie actually finished a WiP, and she actually thinks its good. This probably won't EVER happen again.
So. Feedback, no?