(no subject)
I don't really know what it is that is causing me to feel this way, but I am very depressed. I find myself to continuously worry about things and overanalyze situations around me. I can't help but not feel like there isn't much meaning in the things that I do anymore. I also feel antisocial and I don't really have much interest in being around other people or having mindless conversations where nothing is achieved. I feel like I'm talking to people but they don't really care about what I have to say and instead continue to converse out of obligation or boredom. I feel lonely whilst in the company of others. I feel isolated in a room of people even with their attention directed towards me. Most of all, I lack a drive to feel or connect with the things around me. I just want to find solace in something to where I can lose what I feel now and grasp onto a more positive or happy feeling. I just feel so misunderstood and it's not that I'm looking for others understand me or some sort of acceptance, but the craving to feel contentment within myself, though I am sure what it is that is causing me to feel this way is how I am, in a way, still seeking acceptance from others and everything else. I feel like I don't care, but really, I just care too much.