The point is that you're an asshole Rob.
Yeah. I am.
Sorry.
There's probably nothing more half-assed seeming than a pathetic LiveJounral apology. But it's as true as I can convey to you at the moment. For some reason I feel like that my apology will only come across as a politician apologizing for groping an intern. Nothing more than a pahetic attempt to appease fickle assholes, or something. I don't want it to seem like that. There's a reason I'm not doing my homework right now to write this semi- anonymous apology. Hmm.
Well I do feel terrible, and its not ok. I'm still hurt. I don't know why I'm hurt as bad as I am. I take things way too seriously. Or I took this way too seriously. I got wrapped up in you, and when "whatever" happened, the smart thing would have been to just fucking move on. You're really not worth all the trouble I've put into this, because it's just not going to work out the way I wanted it too. It's painfully obvious to everyone but me.
So I'm not so much hurt as I am...well I'm hurt. Damnit. It was my fault for not "taking the hint." But you, damn. I can't even tell if you did do anything wrong. It's not much that I want you to be at fault, but damn. I'm not a bad guy. I know I'm not, and the stupidest, most asshole-like people I've met get girls and shove it in my face. I don't want to believe this is all my fault, if I do I'm just going to go crazy again. It's much easier to just say "Yeah, fuck her! She's stupid!" Go about my business, drink some beer with "the guys," and find some comely lass of questionable virtue, and well... I don't want to do that. I hate being like that. My "Fuck You" is maybe a bit of an internal conflict. (Yeah, that sounds like a cope-out if I've ever heard one. Read On)
It's better for my self-esteem to blame you, but it's also my fault too. And it's reasons like that that don't let me move on. It's shit like this, being described as a "ruiner of my life" because a dumb girl got naked in my bed and a drunk Rob doesn't know how to fucking react. Then I spent the next six months moping on myself, blaming myself for her bitchery and stupidty, and getting absolutely no where. A few times later, you come around...well you know the story. I can't decide whether or not to sit here, blame you, move on, find other girls, start the whole thing over again. Or sit here and ride it out, proove to myself how seemingly taken/pathetic I can be. Niether option seems too apppetizing. So, when I'm happy and try to hide how hurt I am, I'm mad at you. I'm stupid? There's not much more writing I can do without this becoming rather trite, a cope-out, and a pathetic attempt to somehow win you back, which probably isn't even what I want anymore. It's not, it's the most honest apology I can give you through our current means.
*Sigh* I'm sorry. I really am.
(Told you I'd fuck it up ;))
So, yeah.
Attention ladies: Stay away from me, I'm bad news.
Sorry.
There's probably nothing more half-assed seeming than a pathetic LiveJounral apology. But it's as true as I can convey to you at the moment. For some reason I feel like that my apology will only come across as a politician apologizing for groping an intern. Nothing more than a pahetic attempt to appease fickle assholes, or something. I don't want it to seem like that. There's a reason I'm not doing my homework right now to write this semi- anonymous apology. Hmm.
Well I do feel terrible, and its not ok. I'm still hurt. I don't know why I'm hurt as bad as I am. I take things way too seriously. Or I took this way too seriously. I got wrapped up in you, and when "whatever" happened, the smart thing would have been to just fucking move on. You're really not worth all the trouble I've put into this, because it's just not going to work out the way I wanted it too. It's painfully obvious to everyone but me.
So I'm not so much hurt as I am...well I'm hurt. Damnit. It was my fault for not "taking the hint." But you, damn. I can't even tell if you did do anything wrong. It's not much that I want you to be at fault, but damn. I'm not a bad guy. I know I'm not, and the stupidest, most asshole-like people I've met get girls and shove it in my face. I don't want to believe this is all my fault, if I do I'm just going to go crazy again. It's much easier to just say "Yeah, fuck her! She's stupid!" Go about my business, drink some beer with "the guys," and find some comely lass of questionable virtue, and well... I don't want to do that. I hate being like that. My "Fuck You" is maybe a bit of an internal conflict. (Yeah, that sounds like a cope-out if I've ever heard one. Read On)
It's better for my self-esteem to blame you, but it's also my fault too. And it's reasons like that that don't let me move on. It's shit like this, being described as a "ruiner of my life" because a dumb girl got naked in my bed and a drunk Rob doesn't know how to fucking react. Then I spent the next six months moping on myself, blaming myself for her bitchery and stupidty, and getting absolutely no where. A few times later, you come around...well you know the story. I can't decide whether or not to sit here, blame you, move on, find other girls, start the whole thing over again. Or sit here and ride it out, proove to myself how seemingly taken/pathetic I can be. Niether option seems too apppetizing. So, when I'm happy and try to hide how hurt I am, I'm mad at you. I'm stupid? There's not much more writing I can do without this becoming rather trite, a cope-out, and a pathetic attempt to somehow win you back, which probably isn't even what I want anymore. It's not, it's the most honest apology I can give you through our current means.
*Sigh* I'm sorry. I really am.
(Told you I'd fuck it up ;))
So, yeah.
Attention ladies: Stay away from me, I'm bad news.