Of all the things that never happened

[toomany2choose]

I never dated. Simply went out once and threw myself into relationships. The time of freedom and hope which most other people experienced was something I never went through. I went to work in a job that took away all social time just after turning 19, then  I became sick so early with an illness which set me apart from true living that I never had

Comments

Introspect with caution

[dadadadio]

We all have things that never happened. I could list a half dozen without thinking very hard. There's a disease we all have, thinking we'll be better off one year from now, maybe five years, on the next job or when the kids graduate. There's always tomorrow, but you know what they say about tomorrow

Re: Introspect with caution

[toomany2choose]

I think this was written because I'm trying to deal with what I want and can't have. Kind of grappling with the last few years and the future. Finally able to now that I'm stable enough.

I am the queen of fucking things up. Luckily, I've learned to hold my tongue and admit that I'm wrong. Well, more often than not. I still fuck things up; I've just become better at cleaning up the mess. I'm content with that for now.

Re: Introspect with caution

[dadadadio]

Say 'hello' the king of fuckups. I may be too harsh on myself but I have a string of 'bad calls' in life, and habits I just can't seem to break, that make me wonder if I'll ever get ahead of the rat race. I don't even care if I win, I'd be happy to place or show once in a while.

We make decisions based on todays information. It seems I always err on the side of optimism, thinking everything will work out and the cards will fall my way ..... they never do. Then I start thinking I'm due for a break after all the bad shit happens ..... it never comes.

All we can do is keep trying and be honest with ourself regarding responsibilty for our position. Some people can never look within and always point fingers, make excuses.

My excuse is simple. I'm deepl flawed with many weaknesses.

Re: Introspect with caution

[toomany2choose]

Just my survival technique, but I tend to expect and prepare for the worst. That way anything other than that is an unexpected gift. Like you, things never quite seem to go my way for long before they fall apart. In my case, often spectacularly.

I'm lucky in that I don't have to keep up with, nor care about the rat race. I simply want to be content; thus the introspection about what makes me not be there.

We're all flawed. We all have our own numerous weaknesses. It's what makes us human. No one would care much about a perfect person. It's easier to embrace someone who isn't. For one thing, we imperfect beings need others. I'll take that as a good thing, right now.

Re: Introspect with caution

[dadadadio]

By 'rat race' I don't mean keeping up with the Jones'. That's a different league. We're all in the rat race, working, paying bills, trying to get just a little ahead. When you add kids, college, illness, our mistakes and unexpected set backs to the recipe ..... it's a losing cause.

Re: Introspect with caution

[toomany2choose]

I didn't mean it like that either. Simply that I don't have the pressure of a job, family, mortgage, etc. and having the extra pressures and obligations. It's just me to deal with. I'm a little set apart that way, going month to month with everything and knowing it always will be that way is a bit freeing in a strange sort of way.