i'd trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday.
yeah, i only post when i'm an emotional, bitchy fuck.
i feel so detached from everyone lately. people who have held major places in my life. i feel like i'm getting boring. i feel like whatever i do, is never enough.
i feel like no one ever tells me their true feelings, and just sugar coat things to make me feel better. i feel like i'm getting annoyed by every little thing anyone does lately. i feel like i need some space. but from some i don't want space. heh. fuck me.
i feel as if i'll never win. i'm always just a little too late. or a little too early. a little too clingy. a little less trusting then i should be. a little too paranoid. a little too emotional. a little too childish.
...a push over. the type that'll come running back for more, no matter what. no matter what.
...considerately killing me.
i think a lot of this is born from myself sometimes. i'm very indirect with many people. i give signs to what i want, and what i feel, but these people aren't mind readers. it's something i still haven't quite grasped yet.
the good news... the job is going alright. still adjusting to this whole 4am wake up time. wasn't too enthused by it, at first... just due to the whole context of the job, mixed with what was going on in my life. but it's something stable, and something i don't want to lose.
...and working for delta, you don't have to be 25 to rent cars. just 18.
i feel so detached from everyone lately. people who have held major places in my life. i feel like i'm getting boring. i feel like whatever i do, is never enough.
i feel like no one ever tells me their true feelings, and just sugar coat things to make me feel better. i feel like i'm getting annoyed by every little thing anyone does lately. i feel like i need some space. but from some i don't want space. heh. fuck me.
i feel as if i'll never win. i'm always just a little too late. or a little too early. a little too clingy. a little less trusting then i should be. a little too paranoid. a little too emotional. a little too childish.
...a push over. the type that'll come running back for more, no matter what. no matter what.
...considerately killing me.
i think a lot of this is born from myself sometimes. i'm very indirect with many people. i give signs to what i want, and what i feel, but these people aren't mind readers. it's something i still haven't quite grasped yet.
the good news... the job is going alright. still adjusting to this whole 4am wake up time. wasn't too enthused by it, at first... just due to the whole context of the job, mixed with what was going on in my life. but it's something stable, and something i don't want to lose.
...and working for delta, you don't have to be 25 to rent cars. just 18.