(no subject)
i've had a fantastically TMI week. i've been backpacking around australia and spent 4 nights living in a tiny little car with a friend. we ate peanut butter and processed cheese sandwiches for breakfast and lunch, and then pad thai or subway for dinner. it took me 3 days to take a shit, and when it finally occurred, it was a blissful shade of orange. and about a foot long, but you know.
ALSO, i got a job in a resort called heron island and arrived yesterday. as i was coming back from my meal of fried rice, coconut pineapple rice and random seafood spaghetti (the staff gets the leftovers from the guests' lunch buffet) i promptly jumped headfirst into the party that was going on a few cabins from my own, and downed two beers. i then sneakily pulled out the green, and went and smoked a few bowls with my new friends. i was massively dizzy, but i couldn't figure out why, because usually two beers and some weed doesn't fuck with me. but dizzy i got.
and then, wonderfully enough, the conversation turned to vomiting. like, deeply intricate tales of the resort guests ralphing all over tables and chairs and each other on the boat ride over (it's notoriously rough, and after 2 hours, most people are either sick or about to be sick) and i just couldn't handle it. i grabbed what i could and headed outside, where i sat for a few minutes contemplating whether or not to try to head to the bathroom.
i eventually went and puked behind a tree, but because i was so dehydrated, it was almost solid and barely anything came up. so i guzzled some water and then puked behind a DIFFERENT tree, for variety. it came out in layers ... coconut rice, fried rice, spaghetti ... it was magnificent. i covered it with a big leaf and went inside and slept for about 6 hours, and then got up to work a 10-hour bartending shift. aces.
the best part was walking out of my room at 7:45AM and seeing hoards of birds just going crazy on my vomit. man, they LOVE reconstituted human food. i checked a few minutes ago, and there is absolutely zero evidence of my shenanigans by either tree.
ALSO, i got a job in a resort called heron island and arrived yesterday. as i was coming back from my meal of fried rice, coconut pineapple rice and random seafood spaghetti (the staff gets the leftovers from the guests' lunch buffet) i promptly jumped headfirst into the party that was going on a few cabins from my own, and downed two beers. i then sneakily pulled out the green, and went and smoked a few bowls with my new friends. i was massively dizzy, but i couldn't figure out why, because usually two beers and some weed doesn't fuck with me. but dizzy i got.
and then, wonderfully enough, the conversation turned to vomiting. like, deeply intricate tales of the resort guests ralphing all over tables and chairs and each other on the boat ride over (it's notoriously rough, and after 2 hours, most people are either sick or about to be sick) and i just couldn't handle it. i grabbed what i could and headed outside, where i sat for a few minutes contemplating whether or not to try to head to the bathroom.
i eventually went and puked behind a tree, but because i was so dehydrated, it was almost solid and barely anything came up. so i guzzled some water and then puked behind a DIFFERENT tree, for variety. it came out in layers ... coconut rice, fried rice, spaghetti ... it was magnificent. i covered it with a big leaf and went inside and slept for about 6 hours, and then got up to work a 10-hour bartending shift. aces.
the best part was walking out of my room at 7:45AM and seeing hoards of birds just going crazy on my vomit. man, they LOVE reconstituted human food. i checked a few minutes ago, and there is absolutely zero evidence of my shenanigans by either tree.