((startling revelations of whack-a-mole))
Time mends everything but itself, and it's interesting to watch emotions fade with memories. Compassion is lost with each passing day; it won't be long before the name wields no reaction from these eyes.
- - • - -
I've started writing this entry about six times, and then gotten frustrated and deleted what i just wrote just as many. Then my british cousin emailed me and asked me some generic "how are you?" questions and i found in answering them i had said everything i wanted this entry to say, but without sounding like i'm trying to say it. So, here is my reply to Beth in England, complete and unabridged. This is literally all that's happened to me since Austin. Ridiculous, yes?
Beth:
Yo.
I don't have a clue how jess is. I have succeeded in pushing her out of my life completely and not caring about what happens to her at all. Horray for teen romance!
Last i heard she got beat the fuck up at a hardcore show. That was inevitable. She always goes in the mosh pits, and she's little. Not the best combination. I mean, i'm little too, and that's why mosh pits scare me away. I don't like getting beat the fuck up, and i'm certainly not going to for some shitty hardcore band.
My Christmas is going alright, i guess, haha. I had a great idea for gifts this year. Usually i'm running around malls getting pissed off because i can't ever find anything that doesn't suck and i end up just buying stupid shit i don't like buying and i don't think people will like getting just so i can be done with it. But this year, i'm just going to go to a book store, buy another copy of all my favorite books, and distribute them amongst my relatives. My step sister will get Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Dad will get Being There, mom would get The Collected Fiction of Borges, etc. etc. This way, all my shopping will be done in one afternoon, i'll be buying stuff i actually feel good about buying, and books are cheap so being unemployed and poor is not a problem. That doesn't mean the people i'm buying random books for are going to like my taste in literature, but who cares? Christmas isn't about them. If i'm going to give somebody something, you can be damn sure it's something i like, not them, right?
Originally, i thought about doing that with music, but i remembered most people like really shitty music (oh, how's the o.c. soundtrack going? ha!) and my excellent musical influences would go unlistened to. Books are easier than music because even if my taste in literature is eclectic (and it is), people will probably still use them. Not so for music they don't like (no matter how much they should).
Nick's no longer planning on moving to texas. He says he's making too much money here to move. I can see that, but i hope he does eventually do whatever it is he wants to do. I only ever see him anymore at the occasional Yipsilanti party. I enjoy when we run into each other, though. It's funny that we end up (unplanned) at the same parties every once in a while.
Leah has two babies now, actually. I guess they're good. I don't know; i don't really pay attention to my family either. Or at least, not my step-family.
The only other thing going on with me is that i dusted off my PlayStation and started playing Final Fantasy VII and it has literally taken over my life. All i think about anymore is this crazy game, but it's so involved that i can't help it. Like, there are parts in the storyline that make me cry. Seriously. It is the absolute best example of how art can fuck with your emotions; even more so than film or literature, surprisingly, because it's interactive so when you're character is stabbed in the back, you really feel like you've been stabbed in the back. It's brilliant though; playing this game is easily one of the most engrossing things i've ever done, haha.
I think the reason i used to like videogames so much in the first place was because in addition to being a great time occupier, they're great mind occupiers as well. I can't rehash old grudges when all i can think about is fictional characters. As pathetic as it sounds, i really care more about these pixelated people more than the real ones right now, so it doesn't leave me any room to be frustrated with real life, haha.
No matter how well written a videogame is, though, it will always play second in the emotion-fuck-up category to music. All the music i'm currently into is all really depressing, so after i listen to any of my favorite bands i'm kind of bummed out. I tried to get into somewhat happier music, but it just doesn't cut it. It's like i need some source of melancholy or else i feel like a part of me is missing. I need to hear that someone else has gone through the same things i have (or am, as the case may be). Still, the most depressing stuff is sounding the best right now, and that's kind of scary. The Smiths, Songs: Ohia and Rites of Spring have all been sounding way too good to me lately. I'm trying to ease off it a little.
Anywaaay, If i don't talk to you until then, hope your Christmas is swell. Later.
-Kyle
- - • - -
I've started writing this entry about six times, and then gotten frustrated and deleted what i just wrote just as many. Then my british cousin emailed me and asked me some generic "how are you?" questions and i found in answering them i had said everything i wanted this entry to say, but without sounding like i'm trying to say it. So, here is my reply to Beth in England, complete and unabridged. This is literally all that's happened to me since Austin. Ridiculous, yes?
Beth:
Yo.
I don't have a clue how jess is. I have succeeded in pushing her out of my life completely and not caring about what happens to her at all. Horray for teen romance!
Last i heard she got beat the fuck up at a hardcore show. That was inevitable. She always goes in the mosh pits, and she's little. Not the best combination. I mean, i'm little too, and that's why mosh pits scare me away. I don't like getting beat the fuck up, and i'm certainly not going to for some shitty hardcore band.
My Christmas is going alright, i guess, haha. I had a great idea for gifts this year. Usually i'm running around malls getting pissed off because i can't ever find anything that doesn't suck and i end up just buying stupid shit i don't like buying and i don't think people will like getting just so i can be done with it. But this year, i'm just going to go to a book store, buy another copy of all my favorite books, and distribute them amongst my relatives. My step sister will get Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Dad will get Being There, mom would get The Collected Fiction of Borges, etc. etc. This way, all my shopping will be done in one afternoon, i'll be buying stuff i actually feel good about buying, and books are cheap so being unemployed and poor is not a problem. That doesn't mean the people i'm buying random books for are going to like my taste in literature, but who cares? Christmas isn't about them. If i'm going to give somebody something, you can be damn sure it's something i like, not them, right?
Originally, i thought about doing that with music, but i remembered most people like really shitty music (oh, how's the o.c. soundtrack going? ha!) and my excellent musical influences would go unlistened to. Books are easier than music because even if my taste in literature is eclectic (and it is), people will probably still use them. Not so for music they don't like (no matter how much they should).
Nick's no longer planning on moving to texas. He says he's making too much money here to move. I can see that, but i hope he does eventually do whatever it is he wants to do. I only ever see him anymore at the occasional Yipsilanti party. I enjoy when we run into each other, though. It's funny that we end up (unplanned) at the same parties every once in a while.
Leah has two babies now, actually. I guess they're good. I don't know; i don't really pay attention to my family either. Or at least, not my step-family.
The only other thing going on with me is that i dusted off my PlayStation and started playing Final Fantasy VII and it has literally taken over my life. All i think about anymore is this crazy game, but it's so involved that i can't help it. Like, there are parts in the storyline that make me cry. Seriously. It is the absolute best example of how art can fuck with your emotions; even more so than film or literature, surprisingly, because it's interactive so when you're character is stabbed in the back, you really feel like you've been stabbed in the back. It's brilliant though; playing this game is easily one of the most engrossing things i've ever done, haha.
I think the reason i used to like videogames so much in the first place was because in addition to being a great time occupier, they're great mind occupiers as well. I can't rehash old grudges when all i can think about is fictional characters. As pathetic as it sounds, i really care more about these pixelated people more than the real ones right now, so it doesn't leave me any room to be frustrated with real life, haha.
No matter how well written a videogame is, though, it will always play second in the emotion-fuck-up category to music. All the music i'm currently into is all really depressing, so after i listen to any of my favorite bands i'm kind of bummed out. I tried to get into somewhat happier music, but it just doesn't cut it. It's like i need some source of melancholy or else i feel like a part of me is missing. I need to hear that someone else has gone through the same things i have (or am, as the case may be). Still, the most depressing stuff is sounding the best right now, and that's kind of scary. The Smiths, Songs: Ohia and Rites of Spring have all been sounding way too good to me lately. I'm trying to ease off it a little.
Anywaaay, If i don't talk to you until then, hope your Christmas is swell. Later.
-Kyle