Fun with Shovels
This is for the ex-roomies.
The current roomies (Meru, Shane, Robert and Mary) and I decided to fire up the pit Saturday night and party hard. We got drunk, went to the Alcove and karaoke'd, then came back home and watch a movie. Robert and Marian, or Bob and Big Mare as we like to call them, are straight off the boat from China so we thought they'd get a kick out of Big Trouble in Little China.
Anyway, we're halfway through the movie when the doorbell rings at 3 in the morning. Our favourite bitchy neighbour Deanne clomped over to complain about the noise. "Do you have any idea when I'll be able to get to sleep?", she asks pompously. Apparently, she managed to use her incredible dog-like hearing to conclude that someone was bouncing a ball in the (vacant) bedrooms upstairs. I uh-huh'd and sorry'd my way through the diarrhea until she clomped back home.
Later that night when we were really drunk and everyone else was asleep, Bob and I stumbled out to the garage to bring in Alisa's old futon mattress because they didn't have a bed yet. It was a little dusty.
"Well, that simply won't do", I said. Bob thought it was fine, but I insisted that his people have endured enough hardship without them sleeping on a dusty mattress. "For the love of all that's Good and Holy, we must evacuate this dust", I screamed.
With no vacuum handy, we did what any self-respecting dust-evacuators would do. We put the mattress on the picnic table next to Deanne's bedroom window and beat the fucker with a couple of snow shovels.
BAM!
BAM!
BAM!!!
(turn over)
BAM!
BAM!
BAM!!!
A couple minutes later we picked up our new pristine mattress and ran into the house. I then peed myself.
I guess we woke up Meru, Shane and Big Mare. We rock. Deanne hasn't come over to complain, so I assume she just beat the boy instead.
The current roomies (Meru, Shane, Robert and Mary) and I decided to fire up the pit Saturday night and party hard. We got drunk, went to the Alcove and karaoke'd, then came back home and watch a movie. Robert and Marian, or Bob and Big Mare as we like to call them, are straight off the boat from China so we thought they'd get a kick out of Big Trouble in Little China.
Anyway, we're halfway through the movie when the doorbell rings at 3 in the morning. Our favourite bitchy neighbour Deanne clomped over to complain about the noise. "Do you have any idea when I'll be able to get to sleep?", she asks pompously. Apparently, she managed to use her incredible dog-like hearing to conclude that someone was bouncing a ball in the (vacant) bedrooms upstairs. I uh-huh'd and sorry'd my way through the diarrhea until she clomped back home.
Later that night when we were really drunk and everyone else was asleep, Bob and I stumbled out to the garage to bring in Alisa's old futon mattress because they didn't have a bed yet. It was a little dusty.
"Well, that simply won't do", I said. Bob thought it was fine, but I insisted that his people have endured enough hardship without them sleeping on a dusty mattress. "For the love of all that's Good and Holy, we must evacuate this dust", I screamed.
With no vacuum handy, we did what any self-respecting dust-evacuators would do. We put the mattress on the picnic table next to Deanne's bedroom window and beat the fucker with a couple of snow shovels.
BAM!
BAM!
BAM!!!
(turn over)
BAM!
BAM!
BAM!!!
A couple minutes later we picked up our new pristine mattress and ran into the house. I then peed myself.
I guess we woke up Meru, Shane and Big Mare. We rock. Deanne hasn't come over to complain, so I assume she just beat the boy instead.