(no subject)

[tonyathegreat]

i made a fucking ass out of myself!! friday night dave came over and we hung out for a couple hours drinking, i showered (pranced around in my towel), hooked up speakers, got dinner!! you know the fun stuff, well he is sooo flirty with me it's crazy!! well somehow i started crying that night after me, him, lindsay, michael, and dennis went to the bar!! the kid is so easy to talk to and somehow my feelings came up in conversaion....he started crying too (he was drunk it's ok) about how he feels like an ass and never noticed!! i guess i'm like his best friend in the world kinda thing and yada yada yada!! how much does that suck to profess your feelings and they aren't returned!! oh and he made out with my girl lindsay!! but that was cool with me cause neither of them knew how i felt!! lin didn't know cause of the long talks we had about him liking her...i didn't want her to think she couldn't persue him based on my liking for him!! but i have to get back to the field!! i'm having lunch with dave in two hours and i have to out produce him before that =)

and i've been having really bad panic attacks =( i was promoting a girl at work yesterday and i couldn't breathe or talk...it sucked