Thoughts I've had in Pittsburgh, thus far
Well, I am here in Pittsburgh and trying out the LJ app on my iPhone. There really is an app for everything. Except for helping me deal with thoughts and emotions.
I'm really enjoying myself on my trip. I don't travel a lot, so it's definitely nice to get out and experience things. However, there is certainly something very odd about being here. The main reason I came was to see family that I haven't seen in a long time. Also, there are a lot of people on my Mom's side who are getting quite old, so there is a good possibility that I may not see them again (unless I move here or make this trip annual, both of which are thoughts that I've had for a few months). I've already made a promise to write my 84 yr old great aunt because we both love writing letters.
Anyways, I really didn't expect it to be difficult to hear about memories that people have of my parents. I usually love hearing about them. I guess it's just because I'm visiting the homes where my mom grew up and seeing things they both saw for half of their lives. I don't know. It could also be repressed grief. Who knows!
I had to admit something to myself today, though. I think that a part of me expected to find them waiting here for me. How crazy and childish is that? I know it sounds crazy, but so much of me wanted to see them here. Don't get me wrong. I always want to see them. But for some reason, it just seemed like it was more of a possibility if I "went to them" in some respect. Alas, they are not here. I only get to see older pictures of them and have people tell me how much they miss them. Ha. Tell me about it. Hopefully I'll see them in my dreams. Like I always do.