Trust Me 23/?

[tonje90]

 

The boys were brought out from their daze by Natalie, who had now turned around to look up at the two older boys. She stared at them curiously, pulling on Reid’s sleeve.

“What it is?” Reid whispered as he amusedly raised an eyebrow.

She narrowed her eyes slightly, glancing to Luke before turning back to Reid.

Reid chuckled, leaving the smile on his lips as he repeated his question. “What is it?”

“You were kissing Luke!” She whispered accusingly.

Reid nodded, still smiling. “Yeah, I did.”

“Why?” She squirmed around again, this time moving to stand on her knees in the small gap between Reid and Luke’s thighs.

“Because I wanted to.” Reid stated simply, glancing amusedly at Luke who was slowly turning a darker shade of red.

“Oh…” She pursed her lips, her mind working to understand. “Why?”

Reid choked on a laugh, his smile growing wider and wider. “Well, because I think he is really pretty, and I like kissing him.”

Natalie nodded slowly, moving over to sit on Reid’s lap. Reid froze momentarily, but still kept a small smile glued to his lips. He gently placed his hand on her back as she came to rest on his thigh, resting her head against his chest. “I kissed Sammy Bowler once. But he was all sticky and yucky, and I didn’t like it. But Sage said that since I kissed him he’s my boyfriend. Is Luke your boyfriend?”

Reid sharply inhaled, obviously not prepared for her questions. He gaped, opening and closing his mouth as he had no idea how to respond to the child.

“Luke can’t be his boyfriend, they’re both boys! Then Reid would be Luke’s girlfriend!” Sage protested from her spot on the floor, giggling as she turned around to join the conversation. Reid turned to Luke, who looked as flabbergasted as he himself did. And yet, there was an obvious trace of curiosity in Luke’s eyes, obviously wanting to know the answer to that question as badly as Natalie did.

“Hmmm…” Natalie frowned confusedly, looking up at Reid. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Uhh…” Reid coughed uncomfortably, glancing carefully at the little girl. “No, I… I don’t have a girlfriend. And I don’t want to have one, because I don’t like girls like that. I don’t want to kiss girls.”

“You just want to kiss Luke?” She asked, bouncing excitedly on his thigh. “See, Sage, Luke is his boyfriend!!”

Sage frowned, glancing back and forth between Luke and Reid; both boys were wide-eyed and gaping, trying to figure out the right way to explain. “So you’re both boyfriends?”

“Uhhmm, no, uhh…” Luke tried, biting his lip in the process. “It’s… it’s a bit more complicated than that.”

Reid glanced at him, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, it’s…” He trailed off.

“But if you kiss each other and want to kiss each other all the time, you should be boyfriends.” Natalie nodded happily. “And in love because people say ‘I love you’ when they are together and kissing. Do you love Luke?”

Reid’s eyes grew impossibly wider, stuttering out incomprehensible words.

“Dessert is ready!” Carly announced as she stepped into the living room. “Come on, kids, grandma made a lot of delicious pies for you.”

Natalie jumped off of Reid’s lap, forgetting all about her inquiries at the prospect of pie. She ran after the other kids who all scrambled to get to the kitchen.

Luke and Reid were left on the couch, both awkwardly staring in opposite directions.  The movie was still playing in the background, and Luke grabbed the remote to turn it off. He sighed and turned towards Reid, biting his lip shyly. “Uhhm… I’m sorry about that, she… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Reid finally said, turning back towards him.

“I’m sorry she asked you all those questions, I-“, he started, but Reid held up his hand and interrupted him.

“Seriously, Luke, don’t worry about it. Let’s go grab dessert.” He stood up, sticking his hands deep in his pockets.

“Okay.” Luke sighed, standing up as well. He glanced cautiously at the kitchen, knowing his mother was more than likely waiting beyond that door. Reid saw his gaze and stepped closer, hesitantly placing his hand on his shoulder.

“You alright?” He asked, forcing Luke to raise his gaze and look him in the eyes.

“Yeah, just… Don’t want to get into another argument with her.”

“Are you sure it’s okay that I stay? I can just take off if it makes things easier.” Reid glanced at the door leading outside, calculating how he could escape unseen.

“No, I want you to stay.” Luke said strongly, placing his hand over Reid’s on his shoulder. “She… She just has to get used to you being around.”

A ghost of a smile passed over Reid’s lips. “You planning on keeping me around?”

Luke nodded seriously, twisting his neck to place a kiss against his hand. “Yeah, if you want to….”

Reid gazed deeply into his eyes, as if to assure himself that Luke was telling the truth. Luke smiled softly, stepping closer. Reid wrapped his free hand around his waist, pulling him swiftly up against his body. “I guess I could imagine worse things.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to Luke’s temple.

Luke tightened his grip around the older boy. He knew that behind Reid’s less-than-encouraging response laid a deeper meaning; a truth that may be too scary for both boys to admit. Luke didn’t push it any further, he just enjoyed the moment of being safe in Reid’s embrace. A minute passed in silence before Luke pulled back. He smiled softly at the older boy, nodding towards the kitchen. “I guess we should join them.”

Reid nodded, once. “Yes. Pie.”

“Yes, pie.” Luke chuckled, and stepped through the doors.

Lily had arrived, along with Lucinda. She was currently crouched down on the floor hugging her daughters, while Lucinda stood resting against the counter. She smiled when she saw Luke enter. “Ah, there he is! Come give your grandmother a hug!”

Luke smiled and walked over, kissing her cheek before giving her a hug. “Hey Grandmother, Merry Christmas.”

“Oh, Merry Christmas, my dear, Merry Christmas indeed.” She grinned as he pulled back, ruffling his hair slightly. “How are you?”

“I’m good.” Luke smiled, rolling his eyes as he smoothed his hair down.

“Luke?” Lily stood up, walking towards her son.

Luke turned and smiled weakly. “Hey Mom.”

Lily smiled back, wrapping her arms tightly around her son. “Merry Christmas, Honey.”

“Yeah… Merry Christmas.” He whispered, hugging her back. He would never admit to it, ever, but it did feel good to be in his mother’s arms.

“So, who is this strapping young man?” Lucinda barked out, staring curiously at Reid who had stopped right at the door. He was leaning casually against the doorway, but stood up once he was addressed.

“Reid Oliver.” He said, nodding politely.

“Reid Oliver…” Lucinda repeated, obviously familiar with the name. “You’re the boy that my daughter walked in on Luke with, am I right?”

Luke flushed red, and Lily frowned unhappily. But Reid didn’t flinch and just nodded affirmingly. “That would be me.”

Lucinda smirked, amused by the boy’s straightforwardness. “Well, it’s nice to finally put a face to the name. But I can’t say I expected to see you here, and especially not on a day like this.”

Reid shrugged casually, crossing his arms over his stomach. “I heard there was good food.”

“And pies.” Lucinda nodded. “But I suspect that’s not the only reason you came.” She smirked, glancing at her grandson who blushed harder.

Holden stepped forward, coughing slightly to get attention. “Alright, why don’t we all sit down?”

“Oh yes, there is more than enough pie and cake and ice cream for everyone.” Emma smiled warmly, gesturing towards the kitchen. “Come, come!”

Everyone moved back to the table, sitting in the same seats as before. Lucinda took a seat next to Holden and the kids while Lily sat right across the table from Luke. She sent him a strained smile, glancing at Holden with a less-than-pleased expression.

Hushed conversations began as plates filled with the most delicious pies and cakes were sent around the table. Reid, not surprisingly, filled his plate over the top, and cautiously glanced around the table to make sure that it was okay to begin eating. He saw Jack dig into his plate, and with a contented smile he began to eat as well.

“So, Reid Oliver, what are your intentions with my grandson?” Lucinda started, smiling innocently.

“Mother!” Lily sent her a look, but Lucinda quickly dismissed her.

“Uhm, I’m not entirely sure what you mean.” Reid frowned, glancing questioningly at Luke.

“Well, it has been some time since the…” she motioned towards Lily and Luke, “unfortunate incident. And I’ve been informed that you two had been involved for some time before that.”

Reid nodded slowly. “That is correct.”

“And this is the first time you have been introduced to the family?”

“Grandmother!” Luke sent her a glare, willing her to not push it any further.

“What, isn’t it normal for a grandmother to know if her grandson is being treated right?” She smirked slightly, and pulled Natalie into her lap. “Don’t you want to know if Mr. Oliver is treating your brother right, darling?”

Natalie giggled shyly. “I think Reid is nice. We watched Nemo!”

Sage had also left her seat, and crawled into her mother’s lap. “Mommy, Natalie said that two boys can be boyfriends too.”

Carly chuckled awkwardly, wiping her daughter’s face with a napkin. “That’s true. Sometimes boys fall in love with boys, and then they can be boyfriends.”

“Mhm, like Luke and Reid! I tooooold you!” Natalie grinned, sticking her tongue out at Sage.

Luke blushed furiously, awkwardly pushing his dessert around on the plate. Reid kept his head bent downwards, staring intently at the plate as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

Lily stood up suddenly, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “Excuse me a minute.” She said before hurrying into the living room. Luke sighed and got up, following her through the door.

“Mom?” He cautiously stepped closer.

She sighed and turned towards him, displeasure written all over her face. “Yes, Luke?”

“Are… Are you okay?” He bit his lip, searching her face for answers.

“No, not really…” She answered truthfully, crossing her arms across her chest. “I can’t say that I am happy to see him here tonight.”

“He doesn’t have anyone else, mom. His uncle more or less kicked him out after what happened. His parents are dead. He doesn’t have anyone else! And I didn’t even invite him, Dad did!”

“I know that, Luke. But I still don’t feel comfortable with him here.”

“Why not? Because you’re afraid everyone else will see what an amazing person he is, and actually like him and maybe even approve of our relationship?” He crossed his arms tightly across his chest, staring her down. “Because they are accepting the fact that I’m gay?”

“Luke-“ she started, but he cut her off.

“No, mom!”, he yelled, shaking his head in defeat. “I’m sick of this! It’s been over a month now. Everyone else has accepted it, why can’t you?”

“It’s… it’s hard to understand, Luke. It’s not something…” She trailed off, trying to put her thoughts into word.

“It’s who I am.”, he said simply, looking directly into her eyes. “I’m gay. And if you can’t accept that…” He sighed, letting his arms fall down to his sides. “It hurts, mom. It hurts that you don’t accept me. You claim that you love me, but you’re basically saying that you don’t want me to be happy. I know that it came suddenly to you, and I wish I could have come out to you in an easier way than I did, but life is weird that way, we both know that, and we just have to deal with it.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I never wanted to hurt you. And I do wish that we could all have handled this in a better way. But you must understand that this was so sudden for us, and… I had so many plans for you. I’ve dreamt about all the things you are going to accomplish in life, and… this was just something that I had never imagined.”

“I can have all those things now, Mom. I can have everything I want. Being gay doesn’t change that. I know it will make some things harder, but it would be even harder to pretend that I ‘m someone I’m not.  I don’t want to lie about who I am. Not to you or Dad, not to anyone.”

Lily sighed, a small smile spreading across her lips. “When did you get so wise?”

Luke blushed slightly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, I don’t know…”

Lily stepped closer, pulling him into a hug. “I’m so sorry that I have hurt you, Luke. It kills me to know that you have been in pain because of me. I am your mother, I’m supposed to keep you safe and loved and warm, and I failed at that.”

“It’s okay, Mom.” Luke sighed into the hug, wrapping his arms tightly around her. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose…” He pulled back, smiling brightly at her. “Besides, there is no use dwelling on the past, dwelling on the bad things.”

“I guess you are right.” Lily smiled, patting his arm gently.

“So…” Luke bit his lip. “Does this mean that you’re okay with it all?”

“Oh, Luke, I don’t know.” Lily sighed, gazing at the door leading to the kitchen. “I really don’t like you being involved with that boy.”

“Why not?!”

“He doesn’t seem like a very nice boy.”

“How can you say that? You’ve never once spoken to him!” Luke yelled as he shook his head. “Just ask anyone who was here today! He was polite to everyone; he allowed them to ask him whatever silly questions they had. He basically worshipped Grandma Emma. Natalie adores him! She sat in his lap while watching a movie, Mom! You know how shy she is!!” He ranted angrily, motioning heavily with his hands. “And most importantly; I care about him. Hell, I’m in love with him! This isn’t some random hook up; we’ve been seeing each other for months!”

“Luke-“ Lily stepped forward, but Luke cut her off again.

“Don’t you think I am a better judge of character than that? Do you really think I would be with him if he wasn’t an exceptionally amazing person? Do you think I would’ve wanted him to spend time with my family if I didn’t think you would all like him?” His eyes were filling with tears of frustration, and he angrily wiped them away with his hand. “You haven’t asked me a single question about what he is like. You haven’t spent one second trying to get to know him, so don’t you dare stand there and talk trash about him. From what he’s been through, he could have turned out to be a complete and utter ass, but he hasn’t. He is amazing, kind, caring, thoughtful, and everything that I would ever want in a boyfriend.”

Tears fell freely from his face now, and he made no gesture to wiping them away. He glared at his mother, eyes filled with anger and pain.

“God, I can’t believe I actually thought you could accept me… You’re just lying. You don’t accept me, you will never accept me.”

“Luke, please!” She pleaded, stepping closer, but he shot her a deadly glare and held his hand up to stop her.

“Don’t.” He said strongly, shaking his head. “Just don’t.” He stormed past her, heading for the second floor. He went to his room and slammed the door shut, throwing himself down on the bed. He buried his face in his pillow, willing himself to stop the tears.

He groaned as he heard the door opening. “I told you to stay away!”

“Actually, you didn’t. But I can leave if you want me to.” Reid stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.

Luke sat up, wiping the tears furiously. “Sorry, I thought it was my mom…”

“I figured.” He replied, sitting down next to him. “Are you alright?”

“No.” Luke barked out a laugh, wiping his eyes again. “It’s just… she is never going to accept me. And I thought I was getting used to that thought, but being faced with it now… it just hurts.”

Reid sighed, wrapping his arm around his shoulder and pulling him into his chest. “I’m sorry.”

Luke sniffed, cuddling into his warm chest. “It’s not your fault.” He whispered, breathing in his scent. This, the warmness of his body, and the sound of his voice had calmed Luke down immensely in only seconds.

“It kind of is, though… You wouldn’t have been fighting like that if I hadn’t been here.”

Luke shrugged. “It’s her problem. We would have gotten into this fight tomorrow anyway, it doesn’t really matter how it starts…”

“Well, it was all that talk about you and me that got her upset in the first place. And you were doing fine in there until you started talking about me.”

Luke frowned and pulled back, glancing confusedly at Reid. “How… How did you know that?”

Reid smiled a quick smile and looked down. “You kind of yelled. Everybody heard it.”

Luke’s confused expression quickly changed, his mouth creating a perfect ‘o’-shape, his eyes wide with fear. “Oh… oh God…”

“Yeah…” Reid replied quietly.

“I… You heard everything?”

Reid nodded, raising his gaze to look directly into Luke’s eyes. “Everything.”

“Oh…” Luke bit his lip, fiddling with his fingers. “I…”

“Did you mean it?”

“Yeah…” Luke searched his eyes cautiously. “I… I didn’t mean for it to come out like that… And I really don’t expect you to say it back. Not that I think uhh. Not that I think you feel that way about me, but if you-“

Reid stopped him, putting his finger against his lips. He moved his hand to cup his cheek, running his thumb across his cheekbone. “Luke, I… I’m not really good with feelings, and stuff like that… You know that.”

“I know…” Luke replied, placing his hand over Reid’s. “I know. That’s why I’m not expecting anything. It’s fine.”

Reid nodded, pressing his forehead against Luke’s. “Just…” Sigh.

“What?” Luke breathed out, gazing into the pleading, blue depths of Reid’s eyes.

Reid shook his head softly, closing his eyes. “Nothing.” He whispered.

“No, tell me what you were going to say.” Luke pleaded, moving both his hands up to cup his face. “Tell me.”

“I don’t want it to be now, okay?” Reid opened his eyes again. “Not because you’re upset because of your mom. Not because you said it first.”

Luke nodded. It made sense. He hadn’t meant for Reid to know, least of all in that situation. He didn’t want it to be because he had said it first. Hell, he hadn’t even said it to him; he yelled it at someone else. His mom! That wasn’t how it was supposed to be.  “Yeah, okay.” He smiled.

“Okay?” Reid asked again, gazing into his eyes to reassure himself.

“Yes.” Luke smiled, leaning forward to peck his lips. “I get it.”

“Okay.” Reid smiled, caressing his face gently. “We should probably go back downstairs.”

“Yeah.” Luke wiped his face. “I’m sure there is more pie for you to devour.”

Reid chuckled, kissing him softly before standing up. “Most definitely.”