just one of those days.....
showcase didn't hire me. appearently the movies slowed down and hours are being cut from the employees there already, so there's no hiring for there in the near future.......on the hunt again.
i've also been sick for the past week. i went to maryland about a week ago and came home sunday terribly stricken with a bad cold.....(congestion, wet cough, sinus and stuffy/runny nose and sneezes out the ying-yang......sorry for the details). but, i've been poppin pills like an addict and hopefully in a couple days i'll be fine.
i'm goin to ny to staten isle to visit the ever-lovely valerie for her birthday. that should be good.....a vacation from the norm and all so lonely connecticut.
aside, it's just been all lonely and realization sort of thing today. anna started talking to me again, amazing as that sounds, and i know i should be happy but......it has been almost a year and its like- what do u say? someone who used to be your bestfriend, who you used to hang with everyday/grew up with........after having no contact at all for a year, what do you say? so we made small talk of college and guys and my being sick. who knows......i can only hope we get on some common ground again soon.
jaci apologized and admitted to treating me differently then her other friends, having no respect for me, walking all over me, taking me for granted........and it left me absolutely revolted and nauseated. how you can admit and know all along how you're treating your closest friend is bloody disgusting. alas, she's attempting to recreate herself in a sense and if she values anyone besides herself, she'll come around again.
i just feel absolutely alone. wasting away my days, applying to jobs, and there's only so many people who will call my phone as i'm smoking cigarettes like i breath air. and yet, there's my bf will and for a minute, i thought we had our own little world and now he'll be leaving for southern soon and although its like a half hour drive from me.......its practically a world away. and he's always working and gets frustrated and yells and the walls are crumbling. and i love him.
i'm overreacting. i'm a mess.
i need away and i need to go back to school before i drive myself insane.
i've also been sick for the past week. i went to maryland about a week ago and came home sunday terribly stricken with a bad cold.....(congestion, wet cough, sinus and stuffy/runny nose and sneezes out the ying-yang......sorry for the details). but, i've been poppin pills like an addict and hopefully in a couple days i'll be fine.
i'm goin to ny to staten isle to visit the ever-lovely valerie for her birthday. that should be good.....a vacation from the norm and all so lonely connecticut.
aside, it's just been all lonely and realization sort of thing today. anna started talking to me again, amazing as that sounds, and i know i should be happy but......it has been almost a year and its like- what do u say? someone who used to be your bestfriend, who you used to hang with everyday/grew up with........after having no contact at all for a year, what do you say? so we made small talk of college and guys and my being sick. who knows......i can only hope we get on some common ground again soon.
jaci apologized and admitted to treating me differently then her other friends, having no respect for me, walking all over me, taking me for granted........and it left me absolutely revolted and nauseated. how you can admit and know all along how you're treating your closest friend is bloody disgusting. alas, she's attempting to recreate herself in a sense and if she values anyone besides herself, she'll come around again.
i just feel absolutely alone. wasting away my days, applying to jobs, and there's only so many people who will call my phone as i'm smoking cigarettes like i breath air. and yet, there's my bf will and for a minute, i thought we had our own little world and now he'll be leaving for southern soon and although its like a half hour drive from me.......its practically a world away. and he's always working and gets frustrated and yells and the walls are crumbling. and i love him.
i'm overreacting. i'm a mess.
i need away and i need to go back to school before i drive myself insane.