October has not been a good one...
Bad in fact. For several days I had to try and sleep sitting up, because laying down felt like I was suffocating. I caught some kind of cold or something, and of course it was 10 times harder on me than it would have been for a normal person. Breathing is still not back to normal, but at least I can finally sleep laying down. Once I was finally able to do so I think I spent 2 days in bed asleep, totally exhausted. I told mom today that I'd get up, eat a little something, and then go right back to bed. Fun huh...
Then my synaptic functions, electrical impulses, circut breakers, or whatever you want to call them started messing with me. I lost normal function of my right hand for awhile, which kinda upset me because I do nearly everything right-handed. Then there were times when the body just didn't want to do what I wanted it to do unless I thought really hard about it. Oh and being disoriented in a dark room was fun also. I woke up the other night and for a short time didn't know where in the hell I was at... sounds and smells weren't familiar, nothing was. I think about 20 minutes later I started realising where I was... now that was scary. Oh well what can you do but take it as it comes. Like any machine that has problems, you try to fix whats wrong to keep going...
I've been following this assisted `suicide` crap and have something to say about it. To the people who think its soooooo wrong... what or who gives you the fucking right to tell me how to die?? To prolong my suffering?? Someone terminally ill should have that right, to be allowed to go with dignity if they so choose. I know that I for one will not waste away in a bed for 6 months pissing and shitting on myself, suffering, when I don't have to. If I so choose, I will say my final good byes to my friends and family while I still know who I am, and peacefully go to sleep.
Anyway, I talked to mom earlier today, as I said, and am going down there on Monday for a week or so. It'll be good to get away from the city... always is. The only bad part about going down there is that I REALLY hate coming back home... ugh!
Bout it I guess, and obviously I ain't dead yet... TA!
Then my synaptic functions, electrical impulses, circut breakers, or whatever you want to call them started messing with me. I lost normal function of my right hand for awhile, which kinda upset me because I do nearly everything right-handed. Then there were times when the body just didn't want to do what I wanted it to do unless I thought really hard about it. Oh and being disoriented in a dark room was fun also. I woke up the other night and for a short time didn't know where in the hell I was at... sounds and smells weren't familiar, nothing was. I think about 20 minutes later I started realising where I was... now that was scary. Oh well what can you do but take it as it comes. Like any machine that has problems, you try to fix whats wrong to keep going...
I've been following this assisted `suicide` crap and have something to say about it. To the people who think its soooooo wrong... what or who gives you the fucking right to tell me how to die?? To prolong my suffering?? Someone terminally ill should have that right, to be allowed to go with dignity if they so choose. I know that I for one will not waste away in a bed for 6 months pissing and shitting on myself, suffering, when I don't have to. If I so choose, I will say my final good byes to my friends and family while I still know who I am, and peacefully go to sleep.
Anyway, I talked to mom earlier today, as I said, and am going down there on Monday for a week or so. It'll be good to get away from the city... always is. The only bad part about going down there is that I REALLY hate coming back home... ugh!
Bout it I guess, and obviously I ain't dead yet... TA!