happy bday saki <3
HAPPY 26th BIRTHDAY MY FAVOURITE GUITARIST!!!!
aww saki is a bundle of cute sweet dorky hot smexy love >v< *mukyaa!* i will never stop loving you because you are so talented and beautiful in the way only you can be. raison d'etre is a great new single you wrote/composed and i always see so much improvement in you. so proud of you!! SUPPORTING YOU ALWAYS <3
all my love, saki baby.
xx
long day in class today, i feel so pathetically STUPID at 3d max, why do i suck so bad!?!?! argh. sighhh i totally did not want to go today. dragged myself out of the house and onto the bus and a jumble of thoughts kept running thru my head. stuff like do i really want to do this.. what AM i doing anyway. i observed all these people on the bus. school kids, grandmothers, strange fellows, working OL's, etc etc. where are these people going and what are they doing? what's their goal in life? what were they all thinking as they sat there staring blankly ahead? is everyone thinking what i'm thinking? well i'm a bit too much of a thinker at times - i worry and care too much about little shit like that but. that's me.
you know i see all these people around me and i can't help but think how many people just lead such mundane lives. they go to school, grow up, work, start a family, go to the sunday market, take their screaming kids to school, work work work... i mean i'm generalising but i keep thinking about life itself so much these days. i'm 20 dammit. 20! a quarter of my life has passed and though my achievements haven't been bad so far (academically i mean), here we start that new phase in life, where we need to worry about our prospective careers - ie. what we'll be slogging away at, for the rest of our lives, till retirement. i still don't know if architecture is the right thing for me to do. well in hku it is the most suitable programme for me i guess, and it being regarded as rather distinguished is another bonus. still. i've got to invest 6 years of my life to get my masters. 6 years! i'm not some brain like tako, who's been working AND getting her masters simultaneously.. =.=
i dunno. i sound like i'm at some sorta quarter-life crisis!? hahaha. i mean yeaa ok i'm prob way better off than alot of people alrdy and shouldn't complain about anything and just be good and study but i can't help thinking sometimes... i mean my youth is gonna be over just like that... i want to do so much more, experience more, feel more...
sometimes i don't understand how some people can just drift through life like that. no offense to anyone in particular, this is just my own bullshit, but well... although i'm not a great achiever (lots of flaws in fact) myself, life just shouldn't be wasted like that. obviously i'm just SAYING this, i can't say i've got sufficient action to back up my great philo >_> i guess everyone's got their own reasons, and that's OKAY, as long as they can live up to it and face themselves at the end of the day.
talked to mom for a short while just now, and she read me something from a buddhist book. pretty meaningful. it just felt kinda zen, just lying there and listening to her talk.
okay this is SO incoherent i don't even know what i'm going on about. my new goal in life at the moment though is just to move to tokyo someday. HAHAHAHA i know it's so lame it's not even funny. i just want to experience it there. it prob won't be as perfect as i think it will, long term, but hey, it can't hurt to just... fantasize sometimes, can it? life is never a happy jdrama (chiaki-sama!) but well, like arashi says, life is hard dakara happy.
was looking at kat-tun new shop photo scans... omgggg THEY ARE SOOOO PRETTY and i am so very very touched to see all 6 of them together TvT i think all the kt members are being soo nice to jinjin... ESP KAME!! omggg the akame love that i once worshipped and then faded away (BECAUSE!) now seems to be resurfacing at long last. the live pics were SO ADORABLE <33 kame touching jin's head, jin grinning that CUTE CUTE CUTE GRIN OF HIS... *o* and then kame's arm around jin's shoulder... and then all of kt-tun surrounding jin-sama XD awww it's just SOOO SWEET and i love kat-tun so much as a group. haha maybe now i'll be back in kt mode ^^; also really liked what kt said... about the 6 of them as a UNIT... KAT-TUN always... how they started out as 6 and it'll always be that way... <3
in the middle of reading saga's article in Fool's Mate (aug).. aahhhh alicenine powerrrr!!! saga says he had experienced being in different bands and then splitting up... he didn't this chutohandan self of his.. umm whats that in english... *tries to think of a word* well basically being kinda indecisive, drifting, etc... and so when nao asked him to join a9, he decided from now a9 will be his priority, etc... <3 aw saga-sama! \(>w<)/ a9 love!