Tullamoronic
Tullamoronic: the idea that selling Citibank credit cards at the airport is a positive life choice.
"You need a Visa card; it's just that simple. It's a step forward in the direction toward financial security. And don’t let the cardboard table confuse you, we're doing okay. This phone has a direct line to Zurich. Just check out my $200 suit, $10 haircut and $100 Fudge product. Yes, I do live in Footscray.
"And the best thing about our Visa card is it comes with a photo ID so when you purchase things from EBay people can confirm your identity. Of course, your name does have to be John A. Citizen, and we'll have to make your head a bit squarer. Can you change the photo? Not sure, we'll have to call Zurich.
"Look at my colleague here. She's the perfect example of the kind of girl you could meet if you had this Visa card… I'm sorry, what's a gender check? Anyway, now that you're talking to me she's looking for fresh meat. I mean, she's looking for more lucky consumers. Actually, I'll tell you about a great conversation she had yesterday with this little weird fella. It went something a bit like this:
Possibly Female Citibank Employee: Hello, would you like hear about our great Visa card interest offer?
Bloke: Perhaps, but would you like to hear about God?
PFCE: Oh, are you like one of them Amish people?
B: No, the Amish don't believe in technology, and I'm at the airport with the planes and that. Why would I be Amish?
PFCE: Did you say Commish? The television show with Michael Chiklis?
B: Amish. A-M-I-S-H
PFCE: A-M-I-S-H. Okay, now I go again. A-M-I-S-H. Your turn!
B: You're a little slow right? So maybe you DO want to hear about God?
PFCE: What's that about Michael Chiklis?
"Good times. We have lots of fun here in stall allocated area #9B. As long as you don't get too close to the newsagents. They say we scare away their business. But I see lots of people running towards them instead of walking past us. They don't even have a direct line to Zurich! Oh wait, I forgot to charge the phone last night.
"Anyway, I haven't even told you the best thing about our credit card offer. Yes, we'll give you a ten grand limit; ten k's, ten g's, ten gorillas. On top of that, we'll let you pay 16.75% interest, compounded daily. But also, we'll guarantee that one cent for every transaction you make goes towards giving Jessica Rowe a good feed and a slap in the face every time she laughs. Sounds good? Sign right here..."
"You need a Visa card; it's just that simple. It's a step forward in the direction toward financial security. And don’t let the cardboard table confuse you, we're doing okay. This phone has a direct line to Zurich. Just check out my $200 suit, $10 haircut and $100 Fudge product. Yes, I do live in Footscray.
"And the best thing about our Visa card is it comes with a photo ID so when you purchase things from EBay people can confirm your identity. Of course, your name does have to be John A. Citizen, and we'll have to make your head a bit squarer. Can you change the photo? Not sure, we'll have to call Zurich.
"Look at my colleague here. She's the perfect example of the kind of girl you could meet if you had this Visa card… I'm sorry, what's a gender check? Anyway, now that you're talking to me she's looking for fresh meat. I mean, she's looking for more lucky consumers. Actually, I'll tell you about a great conversation she had yesterday with this little weird fella. It went something a bit like this:
Possibly Female Citibank Employee: Hello, would you like hear about our great Visa card interest offer?
Bloke: Perhaps, but would you like to hear about God?
PFCE: Oh, are you like one of them Amish people?
B: No, the Amish don't believe in technology, and I'm at the airport with the planes and that. Why would I be Amish?
PFCE: Did you say Commish? The television show with Michael Chiklis?
B: Amish. A-M-I-S-H
PFCE: A-M-I-S-H. Okay, now I go again. A-M-I-S-H. Your turn!
B: You're a little slow right? So maybe you DO want to hear about God?
PFCE: What's that about Michael Chiklis?
"Good times. We have lots of fun here in stall allocated area #9B. As long as you don't get too close to the newsagents. They say we scare away their business. But I see lots of people running towards them instead of walking past us. They don't even have a direct line to Zurich! Oh wait, I forgot to charge the phone last night.
"Anyway, I haven't even told you the best thing about our credit card offer. Yes, we'll give you a ten grand limit; ten k's, ten g's, ten gorillas. On top of that, we'll let you pay 16.75% interest, compounded daily. But also, we'll guarantee that one cent for every transaction you make goes towards giving Jessica Rowe a good feed and a slap in the face every time she laughs. Sounds good? Sign right here..."