Best thing you'll never have
Thanks to those who commented on my last post, despite my frequent disappearing act. Just wanted to give an update. It's a positive thing. <3
It's been two months since that jerkwad ktym broke my heart, but I'm doing better.
Saw him twice last week at his show (a really fabulous show, btw... def. buying the DVD), and talked to him afterward, although I first let him know of my displeasure when he spotted me from the bows and grinned, and I put on an overdramatic poutyface. I think it was effective. Helps that I was dressed to go out socializing afterward. >_>
So I talked to him after the show... it was kinda funny, really. He was leaving, and I was standing around waiting for him, but when he saw me and I didn't approach, he had this expression like "oh god she's really upset what should I do?", but ultimately he came over, smiling. "It's been a long time! ^^" he said.
"... Yep," I said, flatly, and his expression changed to be very serious.
".................事務所が....(my agency......)"
He probably had to be wondering for awhile if I was upset just because I hadn't commented in his new blog or peta'd or anything, because I used to be fairly obviously around, and my coldness in person undoubtedly confirmed that. Still. "I know," I said (in Japanese). "I know, but... it still was painful. I cried for a week."
He seemed to think I was joking, because he kind of half-chuckled, but I said, "I'm serious. For a week."
Then he looked really mortified, so -- softie that I am -- I added, "But I understand. The thing that gets me is that I can't even comment." So I explained how my comments had all been moderated, and he looked really shocked and said, "I'll call the agency to figure that out right away!" (and then when I saw him two days later, he said that he had, in fact, called, and that it wasn't the agency, but ameblo being over-protective over its "official" blogs, and my use of even short English that was outside the usual set phrases was NG for them. I tried posting in all Japanese, and it works, so... well, such a shame that for an actor who has his TOEIC score listed on his official profile, foreign fans can't comment in English anymore.)
He also thanked me for the candy I'd given before, wished me a late happy birthday, and was kind but awkwardly hilarious when meeting my aibou aicchi , who was allllll the protective imouto there, so I walked away both days feeling a bit lighter and more in charge. I was very clear with him that I had plans to hit the town both times after his shows. Look at what you're missing out on, menbou.
So... yeah. I felt better that he felt bad. And you know, it's his loss, really. He wants to put me in the fan zone? Fine. I will continue to be a fan, because really, I was the one who lost perspective. I'll go see him in April, and I think it will be fun. But I hope he also understands how his carelessness hurt one of his few fans who really doesn''t give a shit about what he did in tenimyu. He gets more comments on his "official" blog, but god, 3/4 of them are like "OMG I can't believe you played a villain! You will always be a tennis moho to me!!1" That's his choice, and now he's gotta live with it. Hope he's happy, but I hope it's at least a little bittersweet.
......
Also, I hope the new guy I just spent Friday/Saturday with, who speaks English surprisingly well and teaches me Kansaiben and is totally gorgeous, is understanding and doesn't hate me when he finds out his picture is included on some of the posters on my wall, since I haven't told him that I'd seen him onstage a few times before we met.
I shouldn't say anymore about this. Forget I said anything.
(But it could've been you, ktym. You lose.)
REBOUND WHAT? \^O^/
It's been two months since that jerkwad ktym broke my heart, but I'm doing better.
Saw him twice last week at his show (a really fabulous show, btw... def. buying the DVD), and talked to him afterward, although I first let him know of my displeasure when he spotted me from the bows and grinned, and I put on an overdramatic poutyface. I think it was effective. Helps that I was dressed to go out socializing afterward. >_>
So I talked to him after the show... it was kinda funny, really. He was leaving, and I was standing around waiting for him, but when he saw me and I didn't approach, he had this expression like "oh god she's really upset what should I do?", but ultimately he came over, smiling. "It's been a long time! ^^" he said.
"... Yep," I said, flatly, and his expression changed to be very serious.
".................事務所が....(my agency......)"
He probably had to be wondering for awhile if I was upset just because I hadn't commented in his new blog or peta'd or anything, because I used to be fairly obviously around, and my coldness in person undoubtedly confirmed that. Still. "I know," I said (in Japanese). "I know, but... it still was painful. I cried for a week."
He seemed to think I was joking, because he kind of half-chuckled, but I said, "I'm serious. For a week."
Then he looked really mortified, so -- softie that I am -- I added, "But I understand. The thing that gets me is that I can't even comment." So I explained how my comments had all been moderated, and he looked really shocked and said, "I'll call the agency to figure that out right away!" (and then when I saw him two days later, he said that he had, in fact, called, and that it wasn't the agency, but ameblo being over-protective over its "official" blogs, and my use of even short English that was outside the usual set phrases was NG for them. I tried posting in all Japanese, and it works, so... well, such a shame that for an actor who has his TOEIC score listed on his official profile, foreign fans can't comment in English anymore.)
He also thanked me for the candy I'd given before, wished me a late happy birthday, and was kind but awkwardly hilarious when meeting my aibou aicchi , who was allllll the protective imouto there, so I walked away both days feeling a bit lighter and more in charge. I was very clear with him that I had plans to hit the town both times after his shows. Look at what you're missing out on, menbou.
So... yeah. I felt better that he felt bad. And you know, it's his loss, really. He wants to put me in the fan zone? Fine. I will continue to be a fan, because really, I was the one who lost perspective. I'll go see him in April, and I think it will be fun. But I hope he also understands how his carelessness hurt one of his few fans who really doesn''t give a shit about what he did in tenimyu. He gets more comments on his "official" blog, but god, 3/4 of them are like "OMG I can't believe you played a villain! You will always be a tennis moho to me!!1" That's his choice, and now he's gotta live with it. Hope he's happy, but I hope it's at least a little bittersweet.
......
Also, I hope the new guy I just spent Friday/Saturday with, who speaks English surprisingly well and teaches me Kansaiben and is totally gorgeous, is understanding and doesn't hate me when he finds out his picture is included on some of the posters on my wall, since I haven't told him that I'd seen him onstage a few times before we met.
I shouldn't say anymore about this. Forget I said anything.
(But it could've been you, ktym. You lose.)
REBOUND WHAT? \^O^/