where is my mind?

[tofutti_fiend]

i dont really know what is going on?
i think there is school today,
but im at home.
easton didnt come pick me up, so im just hangin out.
i still look out the window like he could be comming to pick me up.
and its 11:45.
sometimes im ridiculous.

just keep on moving.
this house will not be yours in 5 more months.
i will have my own.
my own.
and i think that i will spend lots of time alone.
but a healthy alone.
ive come to realize that it doesnt upset me anymore that my phone never rings.
and i really have no idea why jenny is doing this again.
its frustrating, but i have no way of figuring it out.

i keep thinking about the times in the spring.
roadtrips.
to where?
where ever i want to go, with who ever wants to come.
i cant wait to drive with my windows down and listen to ween.
white pepper.
because it reminds me of last summer.
and the wind will blow.
and i am in love.
in love.
its a sickness, you know.
love, you know it because your brain chemistry changes.
like depression. or bipolar disorder.
i will drive to see him,
and the whole way there i will think about how good he is.
and i will think that this,
this love wont end.
think.
but i want to know.
know.