Oh, hey, hello there crack fic
So, once upon a time, I may have mentioned to mendax and randi that one viable explanation for why Mary was so upset by the presence of the prostitutes in Working Girls was because she (Mary) was the town's Madame and did not appreciate the competition. It is, of course, only a premise that works for that single episode, but it amused me to no end, and was the basis for the following crack-y prompt fill.
Inez, Mary, and Lydia, OW, wine and confessions
"You should really think about adding some boys," Mary tells Lydia after her third glass of wine. "It's surprisingly profitable."
"You mean Chris--" Lydia begins to ask; the look Mary and Inez share stops her, though, before the thought can be fully formed, and she can't help but feel a bit put out by their laughter.
"Can you imagine Senõr Chris taking a woman to bed?" Inez says, her checks flushed with mirth.
"Honey, I don't have to imagine," Lydia says. She smiles, a little viciously, when Mary chokes on her sip of wine.
"That's not what I mean and you know it," Inez says. "I meant, imagine Senõr Chris as a puta."
Lydia pauses, and she feels a flush starting on her chest as she imagines that very thing. "It would be...very profitable," she says at last, because it really would be.
"Of course it would," Mary says, waving her hand dismissively, like she's not flushed herself. "But he'd never do it."
"Not like Señor Vin," Inez chimes in, and it's Lydia's turn to choke on her wine, for she'd been certain this was just idle talk and nothing more.
"He does have quite the soft spot for the old biddies around here," Mary says, nodding solemnly. She can't keep the act up for long, though, and her smirk betrays her.
"Oh very funny," Lydia tells her, a bit sourly.
"Well, he may not be helping them out like that, but the man does have some other good parts beyond what's in his pants, and it's almost embarrassing how easy it is to get him to help out the old women around here."
"Honey, the only good parts on a man --" But whatever Lydia intends to say is cut off by the creak of the batwing doors behind her. She turns to glare at the intruder, half-aware of Mary and Inez doing the same.
"Ladies," Ezra says, looking at each of them with badly concealed nervousness.
"Ezra," Mary purrs, and Lydia has to take a sip of her wine to hide her snort at the way Ezra flinches.
"I'll, uh." Ezra licks his lips, then backs slowly away. "I'll come back some other time. When it's more convenient."
Inez barely waits for Ezra to leave before she says "Ladies" in a ludicrous imitation of Ezra's drawl and waggling her eyebrows knowingly.
Lydia puts her head down on the table and laughs.
***
Outside the saloon, Ezra takes a fortifying breath before pulling his hat more firmly onto his head and turning around.
"Well?" Buck says, a little anxiously. "Did ya figure out what all that cackling was about?"
"Discretion, my dear friend," Ezra says, as loftily as he can, "is the better part of valor." He pauses and casts one haggard eye back at the saloon before walking away as quickly as decency and his pride would allow. "And I am feeling particularly valorous this afternoon."
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Inez, Mary, and Lydia, OW, wine and confessions
"You should really think about adding some boys," Mary tells Lydia after her third glass of wine. "It's surprisingly profitable."
"You mean Chris--" Lydia begins to ask; the look Mary and Inez share stops her, though, before the thought can be fully formed, and she can't help but feel a bit put out by their laughter.
"Can you imagine Senõr Chris taking a woman to bed?" Inez says, her checks flushed with mirth.
"Honey, I don't have to imagine," Lydia says. She smiles, a little viciously, when Mary chokes on her sip of wine.
"That's not what I mean and you know it," Inez says. "I meant, imagine Senõr Chris as a puta."
Lydia pauses, and she feels a flush starting on her chest as she imagines that very thing. "It would be...very profitable," she says at last, because it really would be.
"Of course it would," Mary says, waving her hand dismissively, like she's not flushed herself. "But he'd never do it."
"Not like Señor Vin," Inez chimes in, and it's Lydia's turn to choke on her wine, for she'd been certain this was just idle talk and nothing more.
"He does have quite the soft spot for the old biddies around here," Mary says, nodding solemnly. She can't keep the act up for long, though, and her smirk betrays her.
"Oh very funny," Lydia tells her, a bit sourly.
"Well, he may not be helping them out like that, but the man does have some other good parts beyond what's in his pants, and it's almost embarrassing how easy it is to get him to help out the old women around here."
"Honey, the only good parts on a man --" But whatever Lydia intends to say is cut off by the creak of the batwing doors behind her. She turns to glare at the intruder, half-aware of Mary and Inez doing the same.
"Ladies," Ezra says, looking at each of them with badly concealed nervousness.
"Ezra," Mary purrs, and Lydia has to take a sip of her wine to hide her snort at the way Ezra flinches.
"I'll, uh." Ezra licks his lips, then backs slowly away. "I'll come back some other time. When it's more convenient."
Inez barely waits for Ezra to leave before she says "Ladies" in a ludicrous imitation of Ezra's drawl and waggling her eyebrows knowingly.
Lydia puts her head down on the table and laughs.
***
Outside the saloon, Ezra takes a fortifying breath before pulling his hat more firmly onto his head and turning around.
"Well?" Buck says, a little anxiously. "Did ya figure out what all that cackling was about?"
"Discretion, my dear friend," Ezra says, as loftily as he can, "is the better part of valor." He pauses and casts one haggard eye back at the saloon before walking away as quickly as decency and his pride would allow. "And I am feeling particularly valorous this afternoon."
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth where there are
comments