he's not superman he must be farmer's boypregnantcigarMay 25 2010, 18:53:56 UTC
this starts so quietly and keeps that tone throughout. such a contrast from rodiy's 'morn pittens' (kekeke) :3 i read very very slowly because every word felt valuable. the idea of hyuk watching hae from under the tree is too sweet, too urghfhalf-inducing. i loved the underlying sense of inadequacy coupled with his genuine fascination for hae. the brief line about his mother was startlingly touching. it's amazing that you hid an entire back story in between the lines.
"stubborn weed" is probably my favorite phrase out of this story, because it summarizes them so well. i think we've talked about this before, how we wanted skinny adolescent hyukhae blossoming into manry men hyukhae (and 3. even though that was before we saw just how manry they were!!!! oh 4jib) because that evolution is so integral to their friendship and them (in my mind). hae flinging himself down beside hyuk and stealing his book is something i can well imagine lol.
he'd squared his fingers to form a frame, squinting and swinging his outstretched arms to the eastern horizon where have we seen him do this before???
so much came across in these 800 words. driving motivations! All you'd seen was the chicken coop, but he must have had seen differently. we get a sense of who hae is, even though we're seeing him through hyuk.
ARGH AND THEN THE NOT-PORN. "gentle and sure" is pretty much how you wrote it and i can't even hate you for not making it pornier. to borrow a face, 8[[[[
♥ I'm really glad you liked this! ;~; I like that you caught most of what I was trying to get across while trying to keep the word count within an acceptable diversion from 300 haha.
Blossoming hyukhae! I vaguely remember talking about it too. Haha I'm glad Donghae is at least somewhat in character... I had a bit of trouble with characterization writing this, probably bc I was using second person, which I normally use for original writing. Like the character normally seems to have a voice too much like myself to use in fanfiction, haha.
This is actually the first thing I finished and posted after I had this sudden realization about my writing and I don't know, I'm just really really happy that you liked it, because when I finished it, I felt almost proud haha. That being said, when I read over it now, I'm spotting things I would've changed, buuuut yes. 8)
"stubborn weed" is probably my favorite phrase out of this story, because it summarizes them so well. i think we've talked about this before, how we wanted skinny adolescent hyukhae blossoming into manry men hyukhae (and 3. even though that was before we saw just how manry they were!!!! oh 4jib) because that evolution is so integral to their friendship and them (in my mind). hae flinging himself down beside hyuk and stealing his book is something i can well imagine lol.
he'd squared his fingers to form a frame, squinting and swinging his outstretched arms to the eastern horizon where have we seen him do this before???
so much came across in these 800 words. driving motivations! All you'd seen was the chicken coop, but he must have had seen differently. we get a sense of who hae is, even though we're seeing him through hyuk.
ARGH AND THEN THE NOT-PORN. "gentle and sure" is pretty much how you wrote it and i can't even hate you for not making it pornier. to borrow a face, 8[[[[
this was really great. ♥
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Blossoming hyukhae! I vaguely remember talking about it too. Haha I'm glad Donghae is at least somewhat in character... I had a bit of trouble with characterization writing this, probably bc I was using second person, which I normally use for original writing. Like the character normally seems to have a voice too much like myself to use in fanfiction, haha.
This is actually the first thing I finished and posted after I had this sudden realization about my writing and I don't know, I'm just really really happy that you liked it, because when I finished it, I felt almost proud haha. That being said, when I read over it now, I'm spotting things I would've changed, buuuut yes. 8)
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