it's times like these when a neck looks for a knife
SON
OF
A
FUCK
So, like, logically i knew people were going to have to start dropping dead pretty soon, because it's always been pretty obvious this is all gonna go down with a high body count. BUT. THAT WAS STILL TRAUMATIC. D: SAYIIIIIIIIIIIID. "There is no Sayid!" D: D: D: That was so abrupt! After he was finally being good again! And... and... UGH, SUN AND JIN. WHAT. THE FUCK. Well, i guess Jack did manage to get them off the island. ..................... D: D: D: D: D: D: And GOD, DROWNING. WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE A GODDAMN SINKING SUBMARINE. THAT IS RIGHT NEXT TO BEING BURIED ALIVE AS THE CREEPIEST DEATH POSSIBLE. (AND THEY ARE BASICALLY THE SAME THING! OH BOY, SUFFOCATION AND CLAUSTROPHOBIA! AUUUUGHHGHGHGHHHH) BUT SERIOUSLY DUDES. I guess they had their happy reunion without it turning tragic so, ha ha, five minutes later: DEATH. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. JIN NEVER GOT TO MEET HIS FREAKING DAUGHTER WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK.
THEIR HANDS FLOATING APART. HOLY SHIT, SO HORRIBLE. And oh my god Hurley sobbing, THAT is making me cry just thinking about it. EVERYONE BEING SO SAD. AGH. See guys, here is why you weren't supposed to trust MIB. NOW IT IS ALL BECOMING CLEAR. >:( He has spent so long leading them all around and keeping them alive it really didn't cross my mind that he was simply manufacturing a way to get them to kill themselves. THAT IS CRAZY. Sawyer totally got played the most, since stealing the sub and kicking Smokey off of it was all his idea. Smokey had to know exactly what he would do every step of the way, starting with the moment Sawyer saw the cave. EXPERT PUPPETMASTERING, kudos.
Oh and i guess Frank died too. They'd dragged him around for so long i thought he'd end up doing SOMETHING but... i guess not. :/
But okay even apart from ALL THE DEATH, the submarine shit was all really intense and rad. I was really really hoping Sawyer would trust Jack about the C-4, because i sure as hell trusted him in that moment. Dammit Sawyer! Jack can't explode, he has already tried that more than once! I also frickin loved Jack shoving Smokey into the water, and in the name of John Locke, no less. SO GREAT. I am still kind of hoping for real Locke to come back (alterna-Locke knooooows now), but i also feel like i'd be alright if his arc truly culminated in making Jack a believer.
Holy crap, Kate actually got shot. (in the same shoulder as Sawyer did forever ago! aw.) Well, first of all, when Widmore was threatening to shoot her because she's not important i could SENSE the internet begging him to do it. And then when she did get shot later i KNEW everyone was cheering and laughing with murderous glee, and i am absolutely 100% sure there will be gifs and screencaps and UGH, INTERNET, UGH. GO SUCK A FUCK. Here is the thing: jokes about wishing Kate would die are actually never funny. I am absolutely fucking sick of the default mode of "DIE KATE DIE", like, how many fucking times can you repeat yourself, internet, for real. Do you want Kate to die? I can't tell. I didn't hear you the other 1962847235980562385623857632875 times you said you wanted Kate to die. Why don't you make some more macros to tell me your feelings! IT IS ALWAYS SO ORIGINAL AND AMUSING AND CERTAINLY DOESN'T EVER GET OLD. URGE TO KILL: RISING
But anyway! Moving on to happy thoughts. The thing that i liked about Kate getting shot was Jack carrying her and tending to her and making sure she was alright and OH YOU GUYS. He ended up on the sub-- exactly where he didn't want to be-- because he had to take care of Kate! IT MAKES ME SMILE, OKAY, SORRY. MORTAL PERIL SHIPPINESS: I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT A LOT. And auugghhhh the HUGGING when they met up again on the beach. DESPERATE WE-ALMOST-DIED HUGGING. I AM SO HAPPY THEY ARE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN WHEN I THOUGHT THEY WOULDN'T BE AFTER THE LAST EPISODE. HUGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL the first aid kit on the sub was next to Frank THE WHOLE TIME and nobody knew. Hey have some C-4 in your backpack instead. WHOOPS. Backpacks carrying explosives, though! Switcheroo backpacks even! In the SEASON ONE finale Jack took the dynamite even though Kate was supposed to be carrying it, and she found that out when they all got chased by Smokey. And this time Jack was the one who got a backpack explosives surprise, courtesy of Smokey. MORAL OF THE STORY: BE AWARE OF WHAT IS IN YOUR BACKPACK.
I thought the Ajira plane was gonna blow up thanks to Ben, Richard, and Miles! But alas, they were still nowhere to be seen. Hm. VERY FEW EPISODES LEFT, GUYS, WHERE YOU AT?
So Desmond IS still in the well! Oh boy oh boy oh boy electromagnetic supernova event, i can't wait!
When they were all trapped in the Hydra cage i kept expecting Kate to climb right out. We know for a fact she can do that! She didn't really have to struggle to reach the dead dude's keys! But it was cool when Jack swooped in and took them (...like when they dug up the marshal to get the key for the halliburton case, and Kate stole it until Jack took it back from her? A DEAD DUDE'S KEEEEYS). Jack seems so legit heroic all the fucking time now, it is super great. And "I'm with him." about Smokey was SO AWESOME. When they first started hearing the roar in the jungle beyond the fence, that was such a Jurassic Park moment, jeezy creezy.
Kate finding out she's "not important": I JUST WANT HER TO DO SOMETHING BADASS BECAUSE IT SUPPOSEDLY DOESN'T MATTER. Please? Alternately i would also like Jack to tell her she is important. HAHA, DWEEBY. :]
Aahhhhhh, the alterna-Jack and Locke scenes were so good, especially that last one. Emotions!! My guess is that alterna-Anthony Cooper was still an asshole (since "Sawyer" still existed) and just didn't get around to conning Locke before the plane crash (since in the real world they got along pretty good up until the whole kidney-stealing incident). Maybe that was the bargain. Okay Locke, you can have a good relationship with your dad, but uh, he has to be catatonic so he doesn't get a chance to con you. And you still have to blame yourself for all of it. (unless of course alterna-Anthony Cooper turned his life around after his conning days and actually became a good guy. but i prefer to believe he is trapped in his vegetable state and has to endure lovey-dovey visits from Helen and Locke and hates every minute of it while being unable to cry out or escape. sweet revenge!) Jack was being rather off-putting with his need to fix Locke's paralysis (NO MEANS NO, ASSHOLE), but it led to Jack slowly putting together the Oceanic 815 weirdness, so that's cool. I keep wondering what will finally give him his breakthrough moment, though. (I KNOW IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING WITH KATE, RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT?!?!?!? PLEEEEEASE) He offered Claire an Apollo bar from the vending machine! ~JUST LIKE JACOB~ I liked "We're not strangers. We're family." and the subsequent cut to a shot of everybody together in the real world. Awww. :*)
SAYID AND SUN AND JIN. :((((((((( It's so weeeeeird. Even though Sayid has been basically kind of dead all season, it's still depressing to think back on so many seasons of character development ending with this. Ditto Sun and Jin. Which isn't to say they are REALLY TRULY dead because, hey, alternate universe, sup. But until we see how the universes merge I JUST DON'T KNOW. Sun and Jin did get an awfully long goodbye. :( Out of the nine remaining characters who were present in the pilot (eight if you exclude Locke because he's already dead), three is a lot to kill off in one episode. YEESH. Then again, it's almost a little bit of a relief(?) to pare down the numbers a bit, just because almost everyone is together in a big group right now by necessity, and they have to cram in so much plot that it makes it much harder to have real substantial character moments.
STILL, THOUGH. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK
I kind of enjoyed having a week off from new episodes, it was nice to not feel the pressure of impending doom for once. Now: BACK TO STRESS. D: Only two more episodes before the finale, I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THAT THOUGHT. I DON'T... KNOW. WHAT. IT HURTS, EVERYTHING HURTS, WHYYYYYYYY
OF
A
FUCK
So, like, logically i knew people were going to have to start dropping dead pretty soon, because it's always been pretty obvious this is all gonna go down with a high body count. BUT. THAT WAS STILL TRAUMATIC. D: SAYIIIIIIIIIIIID. "There is no Sayid!" D: D: D: That was so abrupt! After he was finally being good again! And... and... UGH, SUN AND JIN. WHAT. THE FUCK. Well, i guess Jack did manage to get them off the island. ..................... D: D: D: D: D: D: And GOD, DROWNING. WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE A GODDAMN SINKING SUBMARINE. THAT IS RIGHT NEXT TO BEING BURIED ALIVE AS THE CREEPIEST DEATH POSSIBLE. (AND THEY ARE BASICALLY THE SAME THING! OH BOY, SUFFOCATION AND CLAUSTROPHOBIA! AUUUUGHHGHGHGHHHH) BUT SERIOUSLY DUDES. I guess they had their happy reunion without it turning tragic so, ha ha, five minutes later: DEATH. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. JIN NEVER GOT TO MEET HIS FREAKING DAUGHTER WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK.
THEIR HANDS FLOATING APART. HOLY SHIT, SO HORRIBLE. And oh my god Hurley sobbing, THAT is making me cry just thinking about it. EVERYONE BEING SO SAD. AGH. See guys, here is why you weren't supposed to trust MIB. NOW IT IS ALL BECOMING CLEAR. >:( He has spent so long leading them all around and keeping them alive it really didn't cross my mind that he was simply manufacturing a way to get them to kill themselves. THAT IS CRAZY. Sawyer totally got played the most, since stealing the sub and kicking Smokey off of it was all his idea. Smokey had to know exactly what he would do every step of the way, starting with the moment Sawyer saw the cave. EXPERT PUPPETMASTERING, kudos.
Oh and i guess Frank died too. They'd dragged him around for so long i thought he'd end up doing SOMETHING but... i guess not. :/
But okay even apart from ALL THE DEATH, the submarine shit was all really intense and rad. I was really really hoping Sawyer would trust Jack about the C-4, because i sure as hell trusted him in that moment. Dammit Sawyer! Jack can't explode, he has already tried that more than once! I also frickin loved Jack shoving Smokey into the water, and in the name of John Locke, no less. SO GREAT. I am still kind of hoping for real Locke to come back (alterna-Locke knooooows now), but i also feel like i'd be alright if his arc truly culminated in making Jack a believer.
Holy crap, Kate actually got shot. (in the same shoulder as Sawyer did forever ago! aw.) Well, first of all, when Widmore was threatening to shoot her because she's not important i could SENSE the internet begging him to do it. And then when she did get shot later i KNEW everyone was cheering and laughing with murderous glee, and i am absolutely 100% sure there will be gifs and screencaps and UGH, INTERNET, UGH. GO SUCK A FUCK. Here is the thing: jokes about wishing Kate would die are actually never funny. I am absolutely fucking sick of the default mode of "DIE KATE DIE", like, how many fucking times can you repeat yourself, internet, for real. Do you want Kate to die? I can't tell. I didn't hear you the other 1962847235980562385623857632875 times you said you wanted Kate to die. Why don't you make some more macros to tell me your feelings! IT IS ALWAYS SO ORIGINAL AND AMUSING AND CERTAINLY DOESN'T EVER GET OLD. URGE TO KILL: RISING
But anyway! Moving on to happy thoughts. The thing that i liked about Kate getting shot was Jack carrying her and tending to her and making sure she was alright and OH YOU GUYS. He ended up on the sub-- exactly where he didn't want to be-- because he had to take care of Kate! IT MAKES ME SMILE, OKAY, SORRY. MORTAL PERIL SHIPPINESS: I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT A LOT. And auugghhhh the HUGGING when they met up again on the beach. DESPERATE WE-ALMOST-DIED HUGGING. I AM SO HAPPY THEY ARE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN WHEN I THOUGHT THEY WOULDN'T BE AFTER THE LAST EPISODE. HUGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL the first aid kit on the sub was next to Frank THE WHOLE TIME and nobody knew. Hey have some C-4 in your backpack instead. WHOOPS. Backpacks carrying explosives, though! Switcheroo backpacks even! In the SEASON ONE finale Jack took the dynamite even though Kate was supposed to be carrying it, and she found that out when they all got chased by Smokey. And this time Jack was the one who got a backpack explosives surprise, courtesy of Smokey. MORAL OF THE STORY: BE AWARE OF WHAT IS IN YOUR BACKPACK.
I thought the Ajira plane was gonna blow up thanks to Ben, Richard, and Miles! But alas, they were still nowhere to be seen. Hm. VERY FEW EPISODES LEFT, GUYS, WHERE YOU AT?
So Desmond IS still in the well! Oh boy oh boy oh boy electromagnetic supernova event, i can't wait!
When they were all trapped in the Hydra cage i kept expecting Kate to climb right out. We know for a fact she can do that! She didn't really have to struggle to reach the dead dude's keys! But it was cool when Jack swooped in and took them (...like when they dug up the marshal to get the key for the halliburton case, and Kate stole it until Jack took it back from her? A DEAD DUDE'S KEEEEYS). Jack seems so legit heroic all the fucking time now, it is super great. And "I'm with him." about Smokey was SO AWESOME. When they first started hearing the roar in the jungle beyond the fence, that was such a Jurassic Park moment, jeezy creezy.
Kate finding out she's "not important": I JUST WANT HER TO DO SOMETHING BADASS BECAUSE IT SUPPOSEDLY DOESN'T MATTER. Please? Alternately i would also like Jack to tell her she is important. HAHA, DWEEBY. :]
Aahhhhhh, the alterna-Jack and Locke scenes were so good, especially that last one. Emotions!! My guess is that alterna-Anthony Cooper was still an asshole (since "Sawyer" still existed) and just didn't get around to conning Locke before the plane crash (since in the real world they got along pretty good up until the whole kidney-stealing incident). Maybe that was the bargain. Okay Locke, you can have a good relationship with your dad, but uh, he has to be catatonic so he doesn't get a chance to con you. And you still have to blame yourself for all of it. (unless of course alterna-Anthony Cooper turned his life around after his conning days and actually became a good guy. but i prefer to believe he is trapped in his vegetable state and has to endure lovey-dovey visits from Helen and Locke and hates every minute of it while being unable to cry out or escape. sweet revenge!) Jack was being rather off-putting with his need to fix Locke's paralysis (NO MEANS NO, ASSHOLE), but it led to Jack slowly putting together the Oceanic 815 weirdness, so that's cool. I keep wondering what will finally give him his breakthrough moment, though. (I KNOW IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING WITH KATE, RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT?!?!?!? PLEEEEEASE) He offered Claire an Apollo bar from the vending machine! ~JUST LIKE JACOB~ I liked "We're not strangers. We're family." and the subsequent cut to a shot of everybody together in the real world. Awww. :*)
SAYID AND SUN AND JIN. :((((((((( It's so weeeeeird. Even though Sayid has been basically kind of dead all season, it's still depressing to think back on so many seasons of character development ending with this. Ditto Sun and Jin. Which isn't to say they are REALLY TRULY dead because, hey, alternate universe, sup. But until we see how the universes merge I JUST DON'T KNOW. Sun and Jin did get an awfully long goodbye. :( Out of the nine remaining characters who were present in the pilot (eight if you exclude Locke because he's already dead), three is a lot to kill off in one episode. YEESH. Then again, it's almost a little bit of a relief(?) to pare down the numbers a bit, just because almost everyone is together in a big group right now by necessity, and they have to cram in so much plot that it makes it much harder to have real substantial character moments.
STILL, THOUGH. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK
I kind of enjoyed having a week off from new episodes, it was nice to not feel the pressure of impending doom for once. Now: BACK TO STRESS. D: Only two more episodes before the finale, I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THAT THOUGHT. I DON'T... KNOW. WHAT. IT HURTS, EVERYTHING HURTS, WHYYYYYYYY