scared
An object in motion will remain in motion until acted upon by an outside force. Describes life so well, we get on these set tracks, and we stay on them (EX. DEPRESSION, DRINKING, SELF-DENIAL, HATE, LOVE ETC...)until something comes along to change our opinions, our minds, our outlook. Sometimes i get this feeling, like i know more than what i can reach mentaly. Almost as if the answers to all the problems in my life are in my head somewhere just out of reach, and that every now and then i touch them and things are clear, and in the blink of an eye it is gone. I think its because deep down i know that there are no set rules or answers to lifes problems, there are just too many outside forces. I had this dream the other night that me and my sister were on this dock back where i grew up, the area is surrounded by hills, the trees were all bare and it was freezing, we jumped for this little oar boat that was off the dock, but as we jumped the boat moved and we both fell in the water, for a moment i couldnt breath, but then i felt so strong and i started to swim for the boat. As i looked back i didnt see my sister, but then she came out of the water, she burst up gasping and struggling, i think she was screaming but i couldnt hear it, she looked so afraid, i swam back and grabbed her just as she was going under again, i swam as hard as i could to the boat, harder and harder, and put her in the boat, as i put her in i went under, i could see the boat as i sank, i could see my sister looking over the side reaching out her hand mouthing she was sorry and i just kept sinking. I dont know what it means, but my sister is drinking and doing drugs now, she drives drunk and high, she has no money, she doesnt eat, she dropped out of school.......I want to save her to do something but she wont let me, i am so afraid that when she finaly does it'll be too late, i told my dad about the dream and he almost cried.
P.S. i JUST wanted TO say THANKS to ALL the PEOPLE that HAVE commented ON my POST lately. I have BEEN trying TO find THE time TO let Y'ALL know HOW much I appreciate IT, but HAVE been JUST a LITTLE busy. ANYWAY love, Y'ALL and HOPE that THIS message FINDS you WELL.