Are you all very stoned?
BLAH. SMILING AND HELPFUL AND FRIENDLY. I HATE IT.
Okay. Who remembers the movie A Perfect World? Kevin Costner is the escaped convict on the road with the kid? No? ANYWAY, there's this store called Friendly's where the most friendly employee gets a bonus, and everyone is grinnin' like idiots and harassing you with assistance and shit. Both grocery stores in my area now remind me of this. IT'S LIKE HELL.
I'm fairly certain I can find the coffee I want without any help AT ALL, the same goes for my CAR and if you people keep smiling like this, I'm locking myself in the basement and calling the National Guard.
I'm going to start wearing a hospital mask and bandages and paint festering, oozing boils all over myself and cough like I've got TB. I don't know how else to keep this swarm of weirdos away from me. If I MACE somebody, I'm getting arrested and I don't WANT to get arrested.
In happier news, the cats have started bringing me presents again. I hunted a live giant rodent thing for an hour and a half the other night. The old kitty helped me catch it. Fat Girl is 14 years old, crabby as hell and extremely awesome. Those other two harlots are on notice. Last year it was live chipmunks. Three live chipmunks. This thing was way too big for a mouse, it wasn't a mole...so I'm going with field...rat? GAH. Thankfully, the garden gloves were where they were supposed to be or that mofo would be in the recliner with a beer and a cigarette right now.
Okay. Who remembers the movie A Perfect World? Kevin Costner is the escaped convict on the road with the kid? No? ANYWAY, there's this store called Friendly's where the most friendly employee gets a bonus, and everyone is grinnin' like idiots and harassing you with assistance and shit. Both grocery stores in my area now remind me of this. IT'S LIKE HELL.
I'm fairly certain I can find the coffee I want without any help AT ALL, the same goes for my CAR and if you people keep smiling like this, I'm locking myself in the basement and calling the National Guard.
I'm going to start wearing a hospital mask and bandages and paint festering, oozing boils all over myself and cough like I've got TB. I don't know how else to keep this swarm of weirdos away from me. If I MACE somebody, I'm getting arrested and I don't WANT to get arrested.
In happier news, the cats have started bringing me presents again. I hunted a live giant rodent thing for an hour and a half the other night. The old kitty helped me catch it. Fat Girl is 14 years old, crabby as hell and extremely awesome. Those other two harlots are on notice. Last year it was live chipmunks. Three live chipmunks. This thing was way too big for a mouse, it wasn't a mole...so I'm going with field...rat? GAH. Thankfully, the garden gloves were where they were supposed to be or that mofo would be in the recliner with a beer and a cigarette right now.