Remembering...
I wrote several things this day six years ago...here is the first, written and posted to friends on an e-mail discussion list at 1:37 in the afternoon on that black day.
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I watched the news this morning from 5 to 5:30 a.m. Turned off the TV, saw P. off to work (for the government, no less...and he jokingly says he's going off to work to save the country -- or the world, on a good day), and got busy with chores and work. I got an e-mail saying that the World Trade Center had been hit by planes, and thought it was a lame joke. Then I got an ICQ from my oldest daughter and from Rosemary, and I went in and turned on the television...at about 8:00 a.m. PDT.
I turned it off a little less than an hour ago. I've seen all the news there is to see, too many times. I've watched with horrified mesmerization the plane hitting the south tower while the north tower burned. I've watched the towers disintegrate, huge clouds of glass and concrete and God knows what spreading for blocks. I've seen someone jump from a window so far up, I'm sure they knew they were leaping to their death. I've seen the scenes after the towers fell, with the streets of New York looking like nuclear winter. I've seen the Pentagon building and heard the report of how the jet flew into it sideways, cutting like a hatchet through the wing of the building it hit. I've seen the burned-out hole in the ground in Pennsylvania where a fourth passenger jet crashed and burned.
My oldest daughter called to ask if she and her husband could come here. he wanted to be with her mommy. I welcomed her. She carries my grandbaby, due near Thanksgiving... and as we watched, and listened, and discussed the events and the possible culprits and the ramifications of this enormous tragedy, we talked about bringing a child into this world.
Such a monstrous and horrific attack seems beyond comprehension. The loss of life and the economic loss are enormous. Remark was made by Tom Brokaw about how the American people no longer can consider the United States "Fortress America" -- and indeed, the national psyche has been deeply wounded. There has been already, and will continue to be, demand for retribution and revenge. There will be cries for increased safety for our citizens.
I have a lot of questions about how this happened. I'm not the only one who has questions. I believe, however, that if we wish to have more safety, we will have trade in some of our freedom for it. Our enemies are not countries or groups who kindly congregate where we can aim at them, where we can drop bombs on their installations, where we can fight a battle and declare a victory. Battle now takes place on a more individual basis, in a fashion which means even more loss of innocent lives, and which requires vigilance in places we would not have expected vigilance to be necessary.
I have watched my mother terrorized by what she watches on the evening news, by the drive-by shootings and the home invasions she sees reported. I've watched her lock her house up tight and stay inside in her effort to be safe, and I have considered how she has been made a prisoner by her fear. I see the events of this morning creating a fear which has potential to lead to safeguards which imprison us as we attempt to feel safe from those who would do us harm.
Whatever led to the horror of this morning, it seems to me that we find ourselves at a place of great moment in our country's history. The manner in which our leaders and our citizens deal with this will, I believe, be observed carefully by the rest of the world.
So far, it has been *my* observation that Americans are proving that generosity of the human spirit remains in the face of the most awful wickedness. I heard stories of those who were trying to escape the towers who carried others out, who went back to help those who needed help. Rescue workers in great numbers brave the awful dust, ash, smoke, and rubble to try to find survivors. All over the country, blood centers are swamped with donors. On this list, and all the others to which I belong, there was immediate and loving concern for members who might be lost, and for those we don't know who are.
I agree with Beau, personally. Those responsible for this should pay, and enough with the legal niceties. But we should be sure we are making those who are responsible the ones to pay, and not just striking out in blind vengeance. In the meantime, I cannot and will not allow terrorists to make me run in fear from enjoying the freedoms of my country. I will fly on an airplane again. I will gather with others in public places. I will go up to the restaurant in the Space Needle.
And I will pray for the souls of those who were lost, for survivors to be rescued, for the healing of those who survived, and for solace for those who have lost loved ones.
I love you all. I'm glad you're all okay, and still here.
jacqui
