Have I opened a floodgate?
I've only been driving for a few years, but I was never pulled over until November, when I was stopped for expired tags. Only four months later, last Friday night I drove April's car to the store and forgot to turn on my headlights. My own car has daytime lights, so this happens sometimes. I got pulled over, but I was uncertain about the driveway where I stopped, so I pulled forward a little bit. The officer turned on his brights, so I thought maybe he wanted me to move so he wasn't in front of a driveway. Finally I stopped and I heard him on the bullhorn. I stuck my head out and called out, "Sorry, I didn't understand."
"Turn off the vehicle!"
I turned it off. Having realized he stopped me for the headlights, I turned them on. He walked up and shone a light on me, and I handed him my license.
"Why were you driving without headlights?"
"I forgot." The street was well lit, so it slipped my mind.
"Have you been drinking tonight?"
I knew I shouldn't have pulled forward. "No, sir."
"Are there any drugs or weapons in the car?"
"No."
"Have you ever been arrested before?"
Before? Shit, is he going to arrest me because I crept forward like a suspicious career criminal? I am such an idiot! "N-no."
"Is this your car?"
"It's my wife's."
"What's her name?"
"April Kozeluh."
He looked at the license again. "Are there any drugs or weapons in the car?"
"No."
"Have you been drinking tonight?"
Again? "No."
"I'm going to run your name to see if you're wanted or anything."
Goddamnmotherfuckpigshit"All right"wankpissarseheadandholeIamsostupid
I watched a second cruiser pull out and pass me. I shake my head at having driven a night patrolman to call for backup. The officer came back. "OK, are your lights on now? Make sure you turn them on when you drive at night. And don't pull forward once you've stopped; it makes us nervous, like you're gonna take off."
Nod, nod. "I'm sorry. That makes sense."
I couldn't even bring myself to tell April about it until the next day. I'm pretty sure it ranks near the top of My Dumbest Moments.
"Turn off the vehicle!"
I turned it off. Having realized he stopped me for the headlights, I turned them on. He walked up and shone a light on me, and I handed him my license.
"Why were you driving without headlights?"
"I forgot." The street was well lit, so it slipped my mind.
"Have you been drinking tonight?"
I knew I shouldn't have pulled forward. "No, sir."
"Are there any drugs or weapons in the car?"
"No."
"Have you ever been arrested before?"
Before? Shit, is he going to arrest me because I crept forward like a suspicious career criminal? I am such an idiot! "N-no."
"Is this your car?"
"It's my wife's."
"What's her name?"
"April Kozeluh."
He looked at the license again. "Are there any drugs or weapons in the car?"
"No."
"Have you been drinking tonight?"
Again? "No."
"I'm going to run your name to see if you're wanted or anything."
Goddamnmotherfuckpigshit"All right"wankpissarseheadandholeIamsostupid
I watched a second cruiser pull out and pass me. I shake my head at having driven a night patrolman to call for backup. The officer came back. "OK, are your lights on now? Make sure you turn them on when you drive at night. And don't pull forward once you've stopped; it makes us nervous, like you're gonna take off."
Nod, nod. "I'm sorry. That makes sense."
I couldn't even bring myself to tell April about it until the next day. I'm pretty sure it ranks near the top of My Dumbest Moments.