A Few More
Jaime: SHOOT ME NOW
Me: No, I would never do that
Jaime: What if I BEGGED you to? Cuz I just might.
Me: Nope. Never.
Jaime: Well then I thank you.
Tom: God I wish I had a chick flick at my house...that would be awesome.
Tom: I've turned into a lightweight again. It only takes me seven beers to get drunk.
Me: Well after you drink five, I'll start drinking and we can get drunk together!
Me - "What do you call a woman who has more than one husband?"
Mom - "Lucky? Let's see....one to work out of the house, one to work in the house..."
Me - "One to work in bed..."
Mom - "*cough gag* On that note, I'm going to brush my teeth..."
Shelby: Dad must think we're all on crack...
Me: That's ridiculous! Dad knows we can't afford crack...
In the Morning:
Dad: Why am I always the last to know?
Me: Well, if it makes you feel any better, Mom was the second to last to know...
Dad: That does NOT make me feel better!
Later this afternoon:
Mom: Why am I always the last to know?
Me: Well, if it helps any, Dad was the second to last to know...
Mom: Uh No! Doesn't help at all!
Mom: I didn’t know Spongebob lived in a pineapple!
Shelby: Hello haven’t you ever heard the song? What did you think he lived in?
Mom: Well…a box.
Me: A box would disintegrate underwater.
Mom: Well, I didn’t necessarily mean a cardboard box. It could be a wooden box and that would take longer…
Jen: Are you kidding me? He'd probably be the first to get ass-raped in jail 'cause he's so pretty.