License to Be Ill
I didn't go to my high school prom. Or any of the dances or any of those rite-of-passage events until graduation night. I had no interest in spending money I didn't have, or having my parents spend that kind of money on a single night with someone who I didn't have a connection with. So when the Washington State Department of Licensing puts out a Youtube video instructing the young party-goers on how to make sure their limousine driver is properly licensed, I don't have that anecdote to fall back on. I didn't have those sweaty palms walking up the driveway waiting for my girl to make her entrance, scrounging up money for months and months, none of that. But I can still point and laugh at the utter dumbnity of the Department of Licensing, and by proxy, the state of Washington.
Point one: didn't we just finish a special legislative session because we couldn't close up a gaping maw of $5 billion worth of budget because of the indiscriminate spending of our one-party legislature in Olympia? Aren't we told repeatedly that the state has "cut to the bone" and that there's nothing left to delete from the budget? But there was money under a rock somewhere that went to filming, adding music and hiring actors to play the parts. This falls right down there with "Wash-your-hands-ington" and the laughable "EcoCribz", where affluent homeowners proselytize to the rest of us about how to greenify our homes.
Here's point two: do the fine folks down at DOL really think the prom-goers care about this? On the highlight of high school-dom, kids are going to be worrying about whether their chauffeur passed his examination or the sticker is on the rear bumper? And what happens on prom night when the driver doesn't or can't tender the right paperwork? "Aw, that's OK, it's just prom, we'll wait until next year." "Don't worry, we'll walk." "No problem, Mom can clear out the Astro van and she'll drive us." That's not going to happen. Kids are thinking about the night ahead, not who will be the conduit to get them there.
Third: the very idea of professional licensing offends me. I think that if someone can do a job, word will get around and that person will make money. If someone does a bad job, word gets around and they lose business. But no! The state wants to make sure that only properly licensed drivers are used, so that the state can get their cut. "Please don't hire a limousine on the street as you would a taxi," says the DOL. I didn't have a sweet job when I was in school; I was getting by on $50 a month allowance. If some guy was offering a lower rate for the same service, I would have gone with saving the money instead of making sure that everything was square with the state. I don't think that's changed with the high schoolers of today.
Lastly: the people who made the video are completely out of touch, not only with teenagers, but reality itself. From the laughable Casio hip-hop backing track to the white bread emotionless narrator as he runs down all of the common senses things that any teenager should know (to wit: this is a busy time of year; make sure that the reservation is confirmed, check back with them, et al.) to the zoom in on the license tab, to the address that you're supposed to go to: dol.wa.gov/business/limousine/hiringlimo.html. Like anyone's going to remember that string of characters), it all has that same feeling as watching your drunk uncle doing the robot at a family reunion: it's going to end badly and you want to hide until the carnage has died down.
I hope that this year's prom-goers have a great time, stay safe, stay out of trouble and create lots of memories to last years and years. I hope they worry more about having a good time than whether their transportation was properly vetted.
Point one: didn't we just finish a special legislative session because we couldn't close up a gaping maw of $5 billion worth of budget because of the indiscriminate spending of our one-party legislature in Olympia? Aren't we told repeatedly that the state has "cut to the bone" and that there's nothing left to delete from the budget? But there was money under a rock somewhere that went to filming, adding music and hiring actors to play the parts. This falls right down there with "Wash-your-hands-ington" and the laughable "EcoCribz", where affluent homeowners proselytize to the rest of us about how to greenify our homes.
Here's point two: do the fine folks down at DOL really think the prom-goers care about this? On the highlight of high school-dom, kids are going to be worrying about whether their chauffeur passed his examination or the sticker is on the rear bumper? And what happens on prom night when the driver doesn't or can't tender the right paperwork? "Aw, that's OK, it's just prom, we'll wait until next year." "Don't worry, we'll walk." "No problem, Mom can clear out the Astro van and she'll drive us." That's not going to happen. Kids are thinking about the night ahead, not who will be the conduit to get them there.
Third: the very idea of professional licensing offends me. I think that if someone can do a job, word will get around and that person will make money. If someone does a bad job, word gets around and they lose business. But no! The state wants to make sure that only properly licensed drivers are used, so that the state can get their cut. "Please don't hire a limousine on the street as you would a taxi," says the DOL. I didn't have a sweet job when I was in school; I was getting by on $50 a month allowance. If some guy was offering a lower rate for the same service, I would have gone with saving the money instead of making sure that everything was square with the state. I don't think that's changed with the high schoolers of today.
Lastly: the people who made the video are completely out of touch, not only with teenagers, but reality itself. From the laughable Casio hip-hop backing track to the white bread emotionless narrator as he runs down all of the common senses things that any teenager should know (to wit: this is a busy time of year; make sure that the reservation is confirmed, check back with them, et al.) to the zoom in on the license tab, to the address that you're supposed to go to: dol.wa.gov/business/limousine/hiringlimo.html. Like anyone's going to remember that string of characters), it all has that same feeling as watching your drunk uncle doing the robot at a family reunion: it's going to end badly and you want to hide until the carnage has died down.
I hope that this year's prom-goers have a great time, stay safe, stay out of trouble and create lots of memories to last years and years. I hope they worry more about having a good time than whether their transportation was properly vetted.