What's Next? (2)
another installment of this ongoing drama series i like to call "my life"
when i chose to take this time off to sort out my life and make some decisions about my future, i didn't anticipate that id be having all these revelations and overwhelming desires so quickly. i was talking to nikki the other day about her fear that if she broke up with her boyfriend, would guys want to date her since she'll have her daughter. i tried to convince her that there are some out there but the overwhelming majority of 19/20 year old guys dont want a son or daughter. that's where i don't fit in. but either way, i finally decided that i'm gonna put relationships on the back burner for now. it cost me $1.50 to come to that realization (long story) so i guess it's for the best. i mean i know its prob just me - but i really can't see how someone can invest so many strong romantic feelings to someone who you know prob wont be with you when you're grown up. and if you feel that they will then why stick to the normal "i love you/you love me" dating. sex is one thing, but feelings of true love - i think - you can only give to one person.
i spend way too much time thinking about stuff during the day...especially in bed. the second i lay down i start a flood of dwelling and contemplating about so many issues. its actually kinda funny. even in the morning, i just lay there. this whole sorting out thing is sometimes my other "snooze button". i do one or the other. i know spending too much time thinking isnt the best but i can't do it while i exercise or what-not. my dad does the same thing while he jogs like 8 miles. how he can do that is beyond me. either way, i like making these sorts of plans. things are going well overall. i have an idea about what i wanna do next year when i go back to WNEC. i have been making money left and right and have too much saved up so i think i might buy a car or something, we'll see. i've lost about 13 pounds since last month. i'm looking into getting laser eye surgery so that i don't have to wear glasses anymore. all these things are fun to look forward to. let's see what happens.
when i chose to take this time off to sort out my life and make some decisions about my future, i didn't anticipate that id be having all these revelations and overwhelming desires so quickly. i was talking to nikki the other day about her fear that if she broke up with her boyfriend, would guys want to date her since she'll have her daughter. i tried to convince her that there are some out there but the overwhelming majority of 19/20 year old guys dont want a son or daughter. that's where i don't fit in. but either way, i finally decided that i'm gonna put relationships on the back burner for now. it cost me $1.50 to come to that realization (long story) so i guess it's for the best. i mean i know its prob just me - but i really can't see how someone can invest so many strong romantic feelings to someone who you know prob wont be with you when you're grown up. and if you feel that they will then why stick to the normal "i love you/you love me" dating. sex is one thing, but feelings of true love - i think - you can only give to one person.
i spend way too much time thinking about stuff during the day...especially in bed. the second i lay down i start a flood of dwelling and contemplating about so many issues. its actually kinda funny. even in the morning, i just lay there. this whole sorting out thing is sometimes my other "snooze button". i do one or the other. i know spending too much time thinking isnt the best but i can't do it while i exercise or what-not. my dad does the same thing while he jogs like 8 miles. how he can do that is beyond me. either way, i like making these sorts of plans. things are going well overall. i have an idea about what i wanna do next year when i go back to WNEC. i have been making money left and right and have too much saved up so i think i might buy a car or something, we'll see. i've lost about 13 pounds since last month. i'm looking into getting laser eye surgery so that i don't have to wear glasses anymore. all these things are fun to look forward to. let's see what happens.