Come Home Safe (4/5)
Title: Come Home Safe (4/5)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Summary: AU from episode 2.22. Steve didn't find Wo Fat but he did find some truths that he needed to discover. But will Danny listen to his explanations? And can Danny trust Steve not to go off on his own again?
Warnings: none except muses on the loose
Word Count: this part ~2400
(link to part 3)
(link to part 2)
(link to part 1)
(link to part 5)
Steve tried to figure out where he was and who it was in bed with him. Rather than danger, he felt…safe. The warm, solid body behind him was familiar, providing comfort and reassurance. Danny. That brought a tiny smile to Steve’s face.
They were facing away from the windows with the light blocking drapes which provided no clue as to the time. Steve managed to free his left arm enough to squint at his watch. 3:30. Well, that was a start. But was it 3:30 in the morning? 3:30 in the afternoon? Had he remembered to reset his watch? If he had, did he set it to Hawaii time? Or New Jersey time? Even looking directly at his watch, he had absolutely no idea what time it was. He did know he needed to visit the bathroom. But Danny was sleeping so soundly behind him, he hated the idea of waking him up.
He tried to ease out from under Danny’s arm, not really surprised when Danny rolled onto his back, his eyes squinting open.
“What time is it?” Danny asked, his voice sleep deepened and gravely.
“I don’t know,” Steve said.
“Where are you goin’?” Danny asked, hoisting himself up on one elbow.
“Bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“Right. Take more Advil,” Danny said, laying back down and flinging one arm over his eyes.
Steve had to smile at Danny’s sleepy nagging before going into the bathroom to take care of business. After swallowing the Advil, he wandered out, going between the beds to look at the hotel provided clock. It said 9:30. That had to be 9:30 a.m. So his watch was in Hawaiian time. “It’s 9:30.”
“Not at home,” Danny muttered, turning on his side and lifting the comforter. “Come back to bed for a little while.”
“If you insist,” Steve said, accepting the invitation and joining him. Danny practically sprawled on top of him, covering as much of Steve’s body as he could. “Comfy?”
“Mmm…” Danny sighed, his hand skimming over the hard muscles of Steve’s chest.
“Are we talking now?”
“Shhh….” Danny said, putting one finger over Steve’s mouth. “Less talk. More sleep.”
Steve laughed, the rumbling making Danny smile. Steve ruffled Danny’s hair, smiling at the thoughts of what Danny would be saying if he were awake enough to complain. “You’ll still love me after we fight, right?”
“What makes you think I love you? I really really hate you. A lot,” Danny mumbled.
“Okay, Danno. Then I guess I don’t have as much to lose when we fight.”
“Yeah you do,” Danny said, reaching up again for Steve’s mouth. “Shhh….”
“All right,” Steve agreed, closing his eyes and falling almost instantly asleep, Danny’s weight keeping him anchored and safe.
~0~
The next time Steve woke, the room was flooded with light and Danny was talking. Not to Steve though. He was talking to Grace. Steve could hear the love in his Gracie-voice.
“Yes, we’ll both be home on Saturday….yes, I promise…. I’m sorry, Monkey. He’s asleep.”
“No I’m not,” Steve said, sitting up and reaching out toward Danny.
“Hold on, sweetie,” Danny said, handing Steve the phone. Steve smiled up at him before turning his full attention to Grace.
“Hey, Grace-face. What are you up to?...oh yeah? A real horse?... Wow. That is cool….Well, if Danno said we’d be home Saturday, I guess we will…of course you can come swim at my house…all right, baby. I’ll see you Saturday.” Steve hung up, smiling at Danny.
“Stop with the smiling, you goof,” Danny said, pouring Steve a cup of coffee and handing it to him.
“Why are you dressed?” Steve asked as he sipped the hot coffee.
“It’s 11:30. I never went back to sleep.”
“Yes you did.”
“How would you know? You were sound asleep until 3 minutes ago,” Danny pointed out.
“There is that,” Steve agreed, placing the cup on the bedside table and going over to the bathroom. When he emerged, he stood in front of the chair where Danny was sitting, looking down at him. “Are we having sex? Or should I get dressed?”
“I can see why you were called Smooth Dog,” Danny said, shaking his head. “Closet. Macy’s bag. On the shelf.”
“No sex?” Steve asked with a pout.
“After we fight. We’ll have make-up sex if you promise to behave.”
“Behave? Behave how? I don’t even know what that means,” Steve said as he went to the closet. He took down the Macy’s bag as well as the bag from the drug store. He grinned when he peeked inside, looking over at Danny. “Supplies.”
“One of us has to be responsible,” Danny pointed out. “Get dressed, please.”
Steve returned the bag of supplies to the closet and pulled on the jeans and tee shirt, both a perfect fit. Not that he doubted it.
“Are you hungry?”
“Yeah,” Steve agreed.
“We’ll go out for pizza. Real, honest to God New York pizza.”
“We’re in New Jersey,” Steve said as he put on his shoes.
“Shut up,” Danny said. “You ready?”
“I am,” Steve agreed, making sure he had his phone. There was anything else he needed as long as he had Danny.
They left the hotel, Danny driving them to the restaurant not too far away. “I know it doesn’t look like much,” Danny said when they were parked by a row of storefronts. “But they make excellent pizza.”
Steve went with him into the pizza parlor to be greeted by the smell of Italian heaven. He automatically followed Danny and the hostess between the tables, all of the customers watching them curiously. “Why is everyone staring?” Steve asked when they were seated in the booth near the back.
“Because I should have gotten your jeans a size bigger,” Danny said, checking out the selection of beers available.
“These fit exactly right,” Steve said, glancing down at them.
“That’s the problem,” Danny said. “I should have gotten you old lady jeans.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“And a long sleeve shirt. Instead of that one,” Danny said, nodding his head at the blue shirt Steve was wearing that showed off his biceps and parts of his tattoos and made his eyes luminously blue.
“They are just clothes,” Steve said, glancing around at the others at the tables, all of whom were trying to subtly stare at him.
“Not on you, babe,” Danny said, looking up at the waitress. “We’ll have two beers and an extra large cheese pie.”
“Right away,” she agreed, lingering as long as she could before wandering away.
“Okay. Here’s the thing,” Danny said as soon as she had finally left.
“We’re having the fight now?”
“Yes we are. Doing it in public will make it less messy. Less shouting.”
“I don’t shout,” Steve said.
“I do. And I’m going to try very hard not to. You are going to try very hard to see my side of the equation.”
“I do see it, Danno. I see you have a child. You cannot put yourself in danger intentionally,” Steve insisted.
“You put me in danger every single day. But that’s not even the point.”
“Do you have a point? And more importantly, will you ever get to it?” Steve asked with a triumphant smile.
“You are not as cute as you want to believe,” Danny warned. “If we do this, if we get involved, if we both commit to this, it’s all in. You understand that right?”
“Of course I do. I’m not commitment phobic,” Steve said.
“You take me, you take Grace too. You understand that?”
“I’m only interested in having Grace in my life. I’ll take you because I have to,” Steve said with a smile.
Danny shook his head, waiting as the waitress returned with their beer. When she had left again, he leaned over the table, speaking quietly. “I know you don’t believe in caution. I understand you had no choice but to be stubborn and tough to survive in the SEALs. But you are about to be a part of a relationship. It’s not just you any longer. Do you understand that?”
“Yes,” Steve said.
“You have to take care of yourself like you would me or Chin or Kono. Or Grace. You cannot go chasing off after Wo Fat or anyone else by yourself. Because you are no longer by yourself. Do you understand that?”
“Yes,” Steve said, looking down at his beer. This ‘yes’ was not as firm as the previous ones. Danny heard the difference and waited. “It’s who I am.”
“Not if you want to be one half of this relationship,” Danny said gently. “I’m not asking you to change who you are. I’m asking you to consider me and Grace before you act. If you are thinking about doing something you don’t want to tell me or Grace, then chances are you shouldn’t do it.”
“Like the ‘do you want your mom to know’ test?” Steve asked.
“Exactly like that. Can you promise me that you will use the ‘would I tell Grace this’ test? Please?”
“Then I can’t have sex with you,” Steve said, grinning at Danny.
“I swear to God, Steven,” Danny said, shaking his head. “You really are four.”
“Maybe,” Steve said. “I hear what you are saying. I can’t promise I won’t do it again. All I can do is promise to consult you first.”
“What if you want to go chasing after Wo Fat and I ask you not to?” Danny asked, watching Steve.
“Would it be a deal-breaker if I went?” Steve asked. His finger was tracking the ring of condensation his glass had left on the red and white checked table cloth.
“Yes,” Danny said without having to consider it. “Only because I would rather break up with you while you are still alive than do it because you died.”
“I don’t know what that means,” Steve said.
“Your luck is going to run out eventually, babe. I don’t think you are actively trying to get yourself killed any longer. But I still think….”
“Wait. What?” Steve asked. He was frowning at Danny, a mix of confusion and anger on his face. “You think I was trying to get myself killed.”
“Yeah I do,” Danny said. “You have a reckless disregard for your own mortality. That’s what scares the ever-loving piss out of me.”
“No I don’t,” Steve said. “I’ve survived this long. How is that a death wish?”
“You’ve survived, Steve. Do you even hear yourself? It’s like you have survivor’s guilt,” Danny said, stopping and staring across the table at him. “Oh God. Is that it?”
“Of course not,” Steve said. “Stop trying to psycho-analyze me. Some of the world’s foremost professionals have tried. They didn’t succeed.”
“They don’t want to have sex with you,” Danny said. “Well. I’m sure most of them did. But they don’t spend every waking hour with you. Maybe they didn’t know you have a death wish but I do.”
“For the love of God, stop saying that. I don’t have a death wish.”
“Then tell me you won’t chase after Wo Fat alone. Tell me that,” Danny said.
Steve took a deep breath before looking Danny in the eye. “Maybe I can’t.”
“Then our conversation is over. Our relationship is over. I’ll call Stan and tell him I’ll take his job.”
“You can’t blackmail me,” Steve said, his voice rising with anger.
“Yeah, I can. Because I can’t live with the idea of loving you then losing you. If I never have you, your death will be easier. Not easy but easier if I walk away now.”
“Never took you for a quitter, Danno,” Steve said. To his surprise, Danny laughed.
“Good one,” Danny said. “You’re suicidal and I’m a loser. Yay team.”
“I’m not suicidal,” Steve insisted through gritted teeth.
“But I’m a loser.”
“No. Of course not. I can’t be someone I’m not. Not for you. Not for anyone,” Steve said.
“Okay. Let’s put it this way,” Danny said. “You are not the person I pulled my gun on in your garage, are you?”
“Yeah,” Steve said, sounding a little confused by the question.
“No you aren’t. Fact - you are much more likely to follow standard police procedure. Fact- you will ask questions first and then shoot. Fact- you have been known, from time to time, to fill out some of your own paperwork. All true?”
“All true,” Steve agreed.
“All of this change in the two years we’ve been partners. You can change. You can evolve.”
“You nearly had me until you used evolve,” Steve said.
“You know what I mean,” Danny huffed. “What, are you being Sensitive Steve now? Like you always accuse me?”
“Maybe a little,” Steve agreed with a shrug. “I’m not the only one who has changed.”
“I am very away of that,” Danny assured him. “When was the last time I wore a tie to work?”
“Before I was arrested,” Steve said.
“See. That is what I cannot stand the thoughts of you doing. I begged you not to go into the Governor’s residence. And look how well it turned out when you ignored me,” Danny said.
“You’re right,” Steve said. “I have changed. Just like you have.”
“Exactly. All I’m asking, begging, is that you allow the changes to continue. Think before you leap. Look before you jump. Test the waters before you dive into them.”
“Any more clichés you want to drag out there Danno?” Steve asked.
“Are you hearing me? Will you promise to consider me and Grace before you do anything stupid? Anything you wouldn’t tell Grace?”
“I promise to try. If you promise to stop threatening me,” Steve said.
“It’s a deal. And if you do anything stupid, you’ll have to explain to Grace why we’ve broken up. You understand?”
“There you go threatening me again,” Steve said with a pout.
“Shut up,” Danny said, looking up at the waitress as she delivered their pizza. “We need this to go, please.”
“What? Now you’ve decided that?” she asked, popping her gum for emphasis.
“What does it matter? We’re still leaving you a tip. Just box it up, huh?” Danny said, standing up and waiting as Steve did.
“We’re leaving?” Steve asked, confused by the sudden change of plans.
“Yeah. I’ve decided I want dessert before lunch,” Danny said, laying several dollars on the table before going to the cashier. Steve grinned as he trailed behind.