Pure, full-throttle, obsession.
Who's saying whether or not I've been in love before? Come on, who's making that argument? Show yourself!
Hmm..no one. So why do I always feel pressured to either argue for or against whether or not I have or have not been "in love," as it's called on the streets these days.
Have I been in obsession? Oh yeah. I know obsession back to front. Coming or going, I'll recognize obsession. I put too much of a priority on men in my life to not have ever obsessed about them. I'll put them so high on the agenda that I'll think more about them than socks. I won't eat. I won't sleep. Picture this in your mind now: a sockless, starving, sleep-deprived Theresa, absolutely in-obsession with a boy. Pretty nifty, right?
Yeah, no.
I've always made men too much of a priority, as I hope I've illustrated. And it's annoying. My self-worth is all too often confirmed by their confirmation of me, and boys are generally too A.D.D. to remember to confirm me all the time (I mean that in the most polite way possible.) Besides, that's kind of a big responsiblity for them.
I'm truly, truly sick of having the opposite gender inhabiting the forefront of my life, and there's no one to blame except me (ok fine, and the government). I was having a great chat with a great guy-friend of mine today, and we discussed, among plenty of other things, how unsatisfying it is in the long-run to put something in the place of God. And I realized, quite disrespectful to them. When you make someone into an idol, you make them into just that. Just an idol. Not a person, just a symbol that you worship. Humans are too flawed to actually deserve that spot, so you have to dehumanize them. And make them into something equivalent to a scented candle (see: incense holder, duvet, scarf, napkin holder.)
People are worth more than that, and God has a plan for me that requires me to put him in charge. He wants me to stop looking to men for their approval, their confirmation, my self-worth. He has one set-out for me, but I have to get myself right before I can fall in love. I need to know that they'll always come second.
Well, thanks, I just wanted to write about this a bit and get it off my chest. I'm truly quite frustrated with myself. But, things will change. Praise God.
Hmm..no one. So why do I always feel pressured to either argue for or against whether or not I have or have not been "in love," as it's called on the streets these days.
Have I been in obsession? Oh yeah. I know obsession back to front. Coming or going, I'll recognize obsession. I put too much of a priority on men in my life to not have ever obsessed about them. I'll put them so high on the agenda that I'll think more about them than socks. I won't eat. I won't sleep. Picture this in your mind now: a sockless, starving, sleep-deprived Theresa, absolutely in-obsession with a boy. Pretty nifty, right?
Yeah, no.
I've always made men too much of a priority, as I hope I've illustrated. And it's annoying. My self-worth is all too often confirmed by their confirmation of me, and boys are generally too A.D.D. to remember to confirm me all the time (I mean that in the most polite way possible.) Besides, that's kind of a big responsiblity for them.
I'm truly, truly sick of having the opposite gender inhabiting the forefront of my life, and there's no one to blame except me (ok fine, and the government). I was having a great chat with a great guy-friend of mine today, and we discussed, among plenty of other things, how unsatisfying it is in the long-run to put something in the place of God. And I realized, quite disrespectful to them. When you make someone into an idol, you make them into just that. Just an idol. Not a person, just a symbol that you worship. Humans are too flawed to actually deserve that spot, so you have to dehumanize them. And make them into something equivalent to a scented candle (see: incense holder, duvet, scarf, napkin holder.)
People are worth more than that, and God has a plan for me that requires me to put him in charge. He wants me to stop looking to men for their approval, their confirmation, my self-worth. He has one set-out for me, but I have to get myself right before I can fall in love. I need to know that they'll always come second.
Well, thanks, I just wanted to write about this a bit and get it off my chest. I'm truly quite frustrated with myself. But, things will change. Praise God.